Tag Archives: kōri

Winter II: 19

Left (Win).

冴ゆる夜に鴛鴦の衾を方敷きて袖の氷を拂ひかねつゝ

sayuru yo ni
oshi no fusuma o
katashikite
sode no kōri o
haraikanetsutu
On a freezing night
Beneath my duck-down bedding
I lie alone;
The ice upon my sleeve
I can never brush away…

A Servant Girl.

577

Right.

木の葉をや鳥の上毛に殘すらん閨の衾も冴ゆる霜夜に

ko no ha o ya
tori no uwage ni
nokosuran
neya no fusuma mo
sayuru shimo yo ni
Are there any leaves
Left by the birds
For extra feathers?
The bedding in my chamber
Is frozen with frost tonight…

Jakuren.

578

Neither Left nor Right have anything in particular to say.

Shunzei’s judgement: I wonder about accepting the Left’s ‘Beneath my duck-down bedding I lie alone’ (oshi no fusuma o katashikite). The strengths and weaknesses are plain, and so there is not much more to say than that. The Left wins.

Winter II: 12

Left (Win).

清水もる谷の戸ぼそも閉ぢはてゝ氷を叩く嶺の松風

shimizu moru
tani no toboso mo
tojihatete
kōri o tataku
mine no matsukaze
Where spring waters flow
From out the valley mouth
Is stopped;
Against the ice strikes
The wind from off the pine-filled peaks.

A Servant Girl.

563

Right.

梢にも夜半の白雪積もるらし音弱り行嶺の松風

kozue ni mo
yowa no shirayuki
tsumorurashi
oto yowariyuku
mine no matsukaze
The treetops, too,
Within the snows tonight
Are buried, it seems:
The sounds have softened of
The wind from off the pine-filled peaks.

Nobusada.

564

Neither Left nor Right find any fault.

Shunzei’s judgement: The phrasing of both poems, such as ‘wind from off the pine-filled peaks’ (mine no matsukaze), ‘Against the ice strikes’ (kōri o tataku) and ‘sounds have softened’ (oto yowariyuku), has not particular strong or weak points [kōotsu nakuhaberedo], but still, ‘against the ice strikes’ seems a little superior.

Winter II: 1

Left.

山里は朝川渡る駒の音に瀬々の氷の程を知るかな

yamazato wa
asakawa wataru
koma no oto ni
seze no kōri no
hodo o shiru kana
Dwelling in the mountains,
Crossing the river in the morning,
The horses’ footfalls
Upon the ice within the shallows
Tells to me its depth…

Kenshō.

541

Right (Win).

谷河の氷るだにある山里に人も音せぬ今朝の白雪

tanikawa no
kōru dani aru
yamazato ni
hito mo oto senu
kesa no shirayuki
The streamlet,
Even, has frozen
At my mountain home;
No folks’ footfalls
On this snow-white morning…

Ietaka.

542

The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left just remark that the Right’s use of ‘even’ (dani aru) is ‘poor’ [yokarazu].

Shunzei’s judgement: Despite the Left starting their poem with ‘dwelling in the mountains’ (yamazato wa), even if it is on a winter morning, where must it take place? It must be at a riverside estate, or village. In addition, the only element of the conception of morning, is ‘crossing the river in the morning’ (asa kawa wataru). I do wonder about the sound of ‘even, has frozen’ (kōri dani aru), but the snow in the morning is more moving and charming [aware mo okashiku mo] than the Left’s mere sound of horses’ hooves on ice, so the Right’s is the better poem.

Winter I: 29

Left (Tie).

いにしへの流れを受くる御狩かなその芹河の跡にまかせて

inishie no
nagare o ukuru
mikari kana
sono serikawa no
ato
ni makasete
In days long gone,
Flowed by here
His Majesty’s hunting party;
At the River Seri,
Traces, tell the tale…

Lord Suetsune.

537

Right.

いにしへの野守の鏡今日見れば御幸を映す氷なりけり

inishie no
nomori no kagami
kyō mireba
miyuki o utsusu
kōri narikeri
That long ago
Falconer’s mirror
:
When I look on it today,
Reflecting the progress is
A sheet of ice.

Jakuren.

538

The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left wonder whether ice is able to reflect anything, and what the purpose of using the term is.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are elegant [yū], starting with ‘In days long gone, flowed by here’ (inishie no nagare o ukuru) and ‘That long ago falconer’s mirror: when I look on it today’ (inishie no nomori no kagami kyō mireba) respectively, but the use of ‘the’ (sono) in the Left’s ‘the River Seri’ (sono serikawa) is poor [ika ni zo kikoyu]. The Right’s ‘ice’ (kōri) really does seem somewhat unsuitable. Thus, it is impossible to pick either as the winner.

Winter I: 21

Left.

人目こそ離れも果てなめ山里に日影も見えず霙降るころ

hitome koso
kare mo hatename
yamazato ni
hikage mo miezu
mizore furu koro
The bustle of folk
Seems so far away,
In a mountain home
Where no sunlight but
Sleet does fall…

Lord Ari’ie.

521

Right (Win).

かき曇りみぞるゝ空や冴えそめて氷も果てぬ時雨なるらん

kakikumori
mizoruru sora ya
saesomete
kōri mo hatenu
shigure naruran
Gathering clouds,
Sleeting, fill the sky;
The first chill of
Endless ice
In the coming shower…

Ietaka.

522

The Right state that they are unable to understand the point of ‘Sleet does fall’ (mizore furu koro). The Left state that ‘sleeting’ (mizoruru) is grating on the ear [kikinikushi]. In addition, the initial 5-7-5 structure is inconsistent [kiregire nari].

Shunzei’s judgement: In the Left’s poem what is the problem with understanding ‘sleet does fall’? However, what I would want it to say next is that the sunlight always falls. In the Right’s poem, one could have said ‘sleeted sky’ (mizoreshi sora), but ‘sleeting sky’ is also unproblematic [nan ni oyobubekarazu]. ‘Endless ice in the coming shower’ (kōri mo hatenu shigure naruran) is an unusual conception [kokoro mezurashiku], and ‘the first chill’ (saesomete) is also well positioned. The Right is slightly better and should win.

Autumn II: 29

Left (Tie).

廣澤の池冴えわたる月影は都まで敷く氷成けり

hirosawa no
ike saewataru
tsukikage wa
miyako made shiku
kōri narikeri
Upon Hirosawa
Pond, so brightly falls
The moonlight that
All up to the capital is spread
A sheet of ice, or so it seems.

Kenshō.

417

Right.

月清み都の空も雲清みて松風拂ふ廣澤の池

tsuki kiyomi
miyako no sora mo
kumo sumite
matsukaze harau
hirosawa no ike
The moon, so clear;
The skies above the capital
Swept clean of cloud by
Winds rustling in the pines
Round Hirosawa Pond.

Jakuren.

418

Both Left and Right state that their opinions are as in the previous round.

Shunzei’s judgement: I do wonder about ‘Upon Hirosawa Pond, so brightly falls’ (hirosawa no ike saewataru) followed by ‘All up to the capital is spread a sheet of ice’ (miyako made shiku kōri). ‘The skies above the capital swept clean of cloud by winds rustling in the pines’ (miyako no sora mo kumo sumite matsukaze harau) is elevated in expression [take aru sama], and although ‘the moon, so clear’ (tsuki kiyomi) is archaic diction [furuki kotoba], in this poem it may be difficult to judge it entirely appropriate [yoroshi to mo kikinashigataku]. Thus, this round should tie.

Spring I: 18

Left (Tie).

木の間より日影や花をもらすらん松の岩根の水の白波

ko no ma yori
hikage ya hana o
morasuran
matsu no iwane no
mizu no shiranami
Between the trees,
The sunlight these blooms
Does seem to drench:
The pine-rooted crags’
White-capped waves of water.

A Servant Girl

35

Right (Tie).

春來れば氷をはらふ谷風の音にぞつゞく山川の水

haru kureba
kōri o harau
tanikaze no
oto ni zo tsuzuku
yamakawa no mizu
Spring is come, so
Sweeping ‘way the ice,
The wind through the valley
Brings a constant sound:
Water in the mountain streams.

Nobusada

36

Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei comments that both poems sound ‘excellent’, but the Left’s begins ‘between the trees’ (ko no ma yori) and then continues to mention ‘pines’: are the ‘trees’ pines? Or, are they a different type? Whichever is the case, this is, perhaps, a ‘compositional error’. As for the Right’s poem, the expression, ‘sweeping ‘way the ice/The wind through the valley’ (kôri o harau/tanikaze no) is ‘charming’, but he ‘greatly dislikes’ the use of tsuzuku. (It’s unclear why he says this, as he gives no further explanation: the commentators suggest that it could be that the word is too conventional, or that it was generally considered more attractive in poetry to have something ending, rather than continuing, or simply that he didn’t like the way the poem was read out on this occasion!) Given that both poems are ‘equally excellent’ , and that the Left is ‘unclear’ over its trees, a tie has to be awarded.

Spring I: 17

Left.

山川の氷のくさびうちとけて石にくだくる水の白波

yamakawa no
kōri no kusabi
uchitokete
ishi ni kudakuru
mizu no shiranami
The mountain stream’s
Icy wedges
Are melting;
Broken on the rocks
In white-capped waves of water.

Lord Ari’ie

33

Right (Win).

春風に下ゆく浪の數見えて殘ともなき薄氷かな

harukaze ni
shita yuku nami no
kazu miete
nokoru tomonaki
usukōri kana
With the breath of spring,
Flowing beneath, waves
In numbers can be seen;
Hardly any remains – just
A coating of ice.

Ietaka

34

Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’

Spring I: 16

Left (Tie).

春風に池の氷や解けぬらん待たれぬ浪の花を見る哉

haru kaze ni
ike no kôri ya
tokenuran
matarenu nami no
hana o miru kana
In the breath of spring
Will the ice upon the pond
Melt?
Unanticipated blossom touched
Waves come into view…

Lord Kanemune.

31

Right (Tie).

鶯のなみだのつらゝ聲ながらたよりにさそへ春の山水

uguisu no
namida no tsurara
koe nagara
tayori ni sasoe
haru no yama mizu
The bush warbler’s
Tears of ice,
And song,
Issue an invitation!
To the mountain waters this springtime…

Jakuren.

32

The Right team have no comments to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left wonder whether the essence of the poem, of the warbler’s ‘tears of ice’ and song inviting the waters, might not be a bit much?

Shunzei remarks that the form and phrasing of the Left’s poem is ‘certainly charming’, and echoes their criticism of the Right’s poem, as having an ‘impossible essence’. He then goes on to say, ‘The Left is placidly charming; the Right’s essence must be excessive. They are equivalent and I judge this round a tie.’

Spring I: 14

Left (Tie).

氷ゐし水の白浪立かへり春風しるき池の面かな

kōri i
shimizu no shiranami
tachikaeri

harukaze shiruki
ike no omo kana
To the iced
Clear waters waves of white
Return again;
Spring’s breezes well know
This mere’s face.

Lord Sada’ie

27

Right (Tie).

諏方の海の氷のうへの通ひ路はけさ吹く風に跡絶えにけり

suwa no umi no
kōri no ue no
kayoiji wa
kesa fuku kaze ni
ato taenikeri
At the Sea of Suwa
Upon the ice
The trackways,
With the breath of wind this morning
Have left no trace at all…

The Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

28

The Right team state that the concluding line of the Left’s poem, ‘this mere’s face’ (ike no omo kana) is ‘weak’. The Left team reply that the first three lines of the Right’s poem are identical to those of a poem by Minamoto no Akinaka (1064-1138), in the Hundred Poem Sequence from the Reign of Former Emperor Horikawa (a sequence composed by a number of poets between 1104-07 and presented to Horikawa):

諏方の海の氷のうへの通ひ路は神の渡りて解くるなりけり

suFa no umi no
koFori no uFe no
kayoFidi Fa
kami no watarite
tokuru narikeri
At the Sea of Suwa
Upon the ice
The trackways,
With the passage of the God
Have melted.

and that this gave the poem its idea.

Shunzei comments that ‘waters waves of white/Return again’ is a ‘well-worn’ image with nothing special about it, and the Right team have already identified the weakness of the final line, and, of course, it ‘could not be as strong as a Deva King!’ As for the Right’s poem, he accepts the point made by the Left, but as it is not well-known that even in Hundred Poem sequences there are examples which are not ‘excellent work’, it is difficult to completely avoid composing poems with conceptions that resemble them. Thus, the round has to be a tie.