Lingering Cold
衣手のうすきや春の関ならん我が身はいとどしみこほりつつ
| koromode no usuki ya haru no seki naran wa ga mi wa itodo shimikōritsutsu | Do my sleeves, So scanty, spring’s Barrier-gate mark? My flesh is still so Pierced with icy chills! |
Toshiyori
Tag Archives: koromode
Love X: 14
Left (Win)
我恋はあまのさかてを打ち返し思ときてや世をも恨みん
| wa ga koi wa ama no sakate o uchikaeshi omoi tokite ya yo o mo uramin | My love: With my diver girl’s hands raised to heaven I cast back Knowing of these pains of love The world is all despair! |
Lord Kanemune
1167
Right
衣手はしほたるれどもみるめをばかづかぬ海人となりにけるかな
| koromode wa shiotaruredomo mirume o ba kazukanu ama to narinikeru kana | Though my sleeves Are drenched, as Unable to catch a glimpse of seaweed Like a hapless diver-girl Have I become. |
Lord Tsune’ie
1168
The Right state: there are various possible interpretations for ama no sakate. In addition, is it appropriate to compose a poem from the diver-girl’s perspective? The Left state: there is nothing to mention in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: the Left’s ama no sakate is not a particularly good expression, but I see no fault in composing from the diver-girl’s perspective. In recent times, people have come up with alternate interpretations for the phrase, but I see no reason for them. This old fool long ago composed a poem in this way. So I wonder, should I criticise my own composition? There is evidence for this in the Tales of Ise, and other texts, too. However, in poetry competitions, ama no sakate fails to sound appropriate. The Right’s diver-girl with sleeves drenched by the tide and unable to harvest seaweed seems incapable. She cannot be a genuine diver-girl. The Left’s sakate is not that elegant, but the girl is genuine. It wins.
Love IX: 22
Left (Tie)
恋そめし思ひの妻の色ぞそれ見にしむ春の花の衣手
| koisomeshi omoi no tsuma no iro zo sore mi ni shimu haru no hana no koromode |
The first flush of love’s Scarlet passion for her: A hue that Stains the flesh, as spring’s Blossoms do the sleeves… |
Lord Sada’ie
1123
Right
飽かざりしそのうつり香は唐衣恋をすすむる妻にぞ有りける
| akazarishi sono utsurika wa karakoromo koi o susumuru tsuma ni zo arikeru |
I cannot get enough of Her scent transferred to My Cathay robe: Love for her begins With a skirt! |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1124
The Right state: both the conception and diction of the Left’s poem are unclear. The Left state: the Right’s poem, in addition to being commonplace, has ‘begins’ (susumuru) which is unimpressive.
In judgement: in the Left’s poem, while ‘blossoms do the sleeves’ (hana no koromode) is evocative, ‘a hue that’ (iro zo sore) is certainly extremely difficult to understand. In the Right’s poem, both ‘Cathay robe’ (karakoromo) and ‘with a skirt’ (tsuma ni zo arikeru) seem elegant, but I wonder about the impression of ‘her scent transferred’ (sono utsurika) and ‘begins’. It is unclear which poem is superior or inferior, so the round should tie.
Love VII: 19
Left.
逢ふ事は苗代水を引き止めて通しはてぬや小山田の關
| au koto wa nawashiro mizu o hikitomete tōshihatenu ya oyamada no seki |
Can a meeting, like The waters round the rice seedlings Be stopped In their endless flow Past the Oyamada Barrier? |
Kenshō
997
Right (Win).
衣手は清見が關にあらねども絶ゆるよもなき涙也けり
| koromode wa kiyomi ga seki ni aranedomo tayuru yo mo naki namida narikeri |
My sleeves as The Barrier at Kiyomi Are not, yet Without cease Are my tears… |
Lord Tsune’ie.
998
The Right state: we are unfamiliar with the expression ‘Oyamada Barrier’ (oyamada no seki). The Left state: it sounds as if it is tears that are ceaseless at the Barrier at Kiyomi.
In judgement: the Left’s poem is stylistically tasteful, but with only ‘can a meeting, like the waters round the rice seedlings’ (au koto wa nawashiro mizu) the conception of love is weak is it not? The Right’s poem metaphorically has tears ceaseless at the Barrier at Kiyomi, and with the ta present, I accept the Left’s point to a certain extent, but this type of thing is not unusual in metaphorical poems. In addition, there is little reason to imagine the waters round the rice-seedlings being blocked. As it has a stronger focus on Love, the Right wins.
Eikyū hyakushu 216
Lingering Heat (残暑)
秋風の荻の葉はわくるおとはしてまだころもでのあつくも有るかな
| akikaze no ogi no ha wakuru oto wa shite mada koromode no atsuku mo aru kana | The autumn breeze Parting fronds of silver grass I hear; Yet my sleeves Are heavy with heat… |
Higo
Sanboku kikashū II: 315
衣手もやや肌寒し夏の夜の月の光は秋の空かは
| koromode mo yaya Fadasamusi natu no yo no tuki no Fikari Fa aki no sora ka Fa |
Even my sleeves Are slightly chill; On a summer night The moon’s light Recollects the autumn sky… |
Minamoto no Shunrai
源俊頼
MYS X: 2165
On frogs.
上つ瀬にかはづ妻呼ぶ夕されば衣手寒み妻まかむとか
| kami tu se ni kapadu tuma yobu yupusareba koromode samumi tuma makamu to ka |
In the rapids upstream A frog cries for a mate, When the evening comes, How chill the sleeves – Maybe he would be with her swiftly! |
Anonymous
MYS X: 2174
秋田刈る刈廬を作り我が居れば衣手寒く露ぞ置きにける
| akita karu karipo wo tukuri wa ga woreba koromode samuku tuyu zo wokinikeru |
Reaping the autumn fields, Building a brief hut, and Resting there, How chill my sleeves When the dew falls upon them. |
Anonymous
Love I: 19
Left.
なかなかにみるめばかりは難くとも遂にあふみの海と頼めよ
| nakanaka ni mirume bakari wa katakutomo tsui ni aumi no umi to tanomeyo |
‘Tis not enough to Merely catch a glimpse of you; ‘Tis hard, but Finally for a meeting By the sea must be my hope. |
637
Right (Win).
漁り火のほの見てしより衣手に磯邊の浪の寄せぬ日ぞなき
| isaribi no honomiteshi yori koromode ni isobe no nami no yosenu hi zo naki |
Since by fisher fires Dim light I glimpsed you, Upon my sleeves Waves upon a rocky shore Have broken, every day. |
638
Both teams say the other team’s poem sounds ‘extremely cliched’ [furikusaritari].
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The gentlemen of both sides have stated that the opposing poem sounds clichéd. This is, indeed, a most perceptive judgement! Poems which use non-standard poetic diction [utakotoba ni mo aranu utadomo] often sound clichéd, do they not? However, given that the Left concludes ‘for a meeting by the sea must be my hope’ (aumi no umi to tanomeyo), it was unnecessary to mention mirume being difficult to obtain. Simply saying that it would be ‘absent’ [nashi] is what would be clichéd, surely? In any case, isaribi seems slightly superior.
Winter II: 6
Left (Tie).
雲深き嶺の朝明けのいかならん槇の戸白む雪の光に
| kumo fukaki mine no asake no ika naran maki no to shiramu yuki no hikari ni |
Deep within the clouds, Morning to the peaks must come, But how? I wonder, With whitening round my cedar door, Brightened by the snow… |
551
Right.
眺めやる衣手寒し有明の月より殘る峰の白雪
| nagameyaru koromode samushi ariake no tsuki yori nokoru mine no shirayuki |
Gazing on, How chill my sleeves; The dawntime Moon will linger less than The snowfall on the peaks… |
552
Both teams say they find the other’s poem moving.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem has ‘deep snow’ (yuki fukaki), ‘whitening round my cedar door’ (maki no to shiramu), and the Right has ‘the dawntime moon will linger less than’ (ariake no tsuki yori nokoru) – the conception and diction of both are splendid [kokoro kotoba tomo ni yoroshiku koso haberumere]. It seems to me that is exactly how winter mornings are. Thus, it is difficult to say which is better. This must be a good tie [yoki ji].