Tag Archives: kumoi

MYS XVII: 4003

A poem with two envoys, composed in respectful response to Tachiyama.

朝日さし そがひに見ゆる 神ながら 御名に帯ばせる 白雲の 千重を押し別け 天そそり 高き立山 冬夏と 別くこともなく 白栲に 雪は降り置きて 古ゆ あり来にければ こごしかも 岩の神さび たまきはる 幾代経にけむ 立ちて居て 見れども異し 峰高み 谷を深みと 落ちたぎつ 清き河内に 朝さらず 霧立ちわたり 夕されば 雲居たなびき 雲居なす 心もしのに 立つ霧の 思ひ過ぐさず 行く水の 音もさやけく 万代に 言ひ継ぎゆかむ 川し絶えずは

asapi sasi
sogapi ni miyuru
kamu nagara
mina ni obasesu
sirakumo no
tipe wo osiwake
ama sosori
takaki tatiyama
puyu natu to
waku koto mo naku
sirotape ni
yuki pa puri okite
inisipe yu
arikinikereba
kogosikamo
ipa no kamusabi
tama kiparu
ikuyo penikemu
tatiwite
miredomo ayasi
minedakami
tani wo pukami to
otitagitu
kiyoki ka puti ni
asa sarazu
kiri tati watari
yupu sareba
kumowi tanabiki
kumowi nasu
kokoro mo sino ni
tatu kiri no
omopi sugusazu
yuku midu no
woto mo sayakeku
yoroduyo ni
ipitugi yukamu
kapa si taezu wa
The morning sun shines
At my back,and
Divine
Your great name links:
Clouds of white
In a thousand layers, you pierce, and
Tower into the heavens,
Tall Tachiyama!
In winter and, in summer both
Indistinguishably are you
Clad in mulberry white
Fallen drifts of snow;
Since ancient days
Ever has been your estate,
Fastened round with
Crags divine;
‘til all souls end
Have countless ages passed!
Standing here,
I see you, yet am awed by
Your lofty peak and
Valley’s deep, where
Plunge seething cataracts of
Waters pure to pools where
Morning never leaves –
Mists rise and roll across, and
When the evening comes
Clouds trail in and
Cover all,
Even, with sadness, my heart, so
The rising mists
Never leave my thoughts, and of
Your running waters’
Clear, pure sound
Through ten thousand ages
Will I ever tell
Unending as a river’s flow…

Ōtomo no Ikenushi
大伴池主

Minbukyō yukihira no uta’awase 6

Left
時鳥雲井の声を聞く人は心も空になりぞしにける

Fototogisu
kumowi no kowe wo
kiku Fito Fa
kokoro mo sora ni
nari zo sinikeru
A cuckoo
From the clouds your call
Folk hear, and
Their hearts with the skies
One do become!

11

Right (Win)
小夜更けて起きて待たずば時鳥はつかなる音もいかで聞かまし

sayo Fukete
okite matazuba
Fototogisu
Fatukanaru ne mo
ikade kikamasi
A brief night dawns, and
Had I not awaited to arise
A cuckoo’s
Momentary cry
Somehow I might have heard…

12

Love VII: 10

Left (Tie).
雲井まで續きて見ゆわたつ海の行衛知られぬ物思かな

kumoi made
tsuzukite miyu
wata tsu umi no
yukue shirarenu
mono’omoi kana
Beyond the clouds
My gaze goes on and on;
The endless sea:
What lies beyond is unknown
As my gloomy thoughts…

Lord Suetsune.
979

Right.
伊勢の海の潮瀬にさはぐさざれ石の砕けて物を思ふ比かな

ise no umi no
shiose ni sawagu
sazare’ishi no
kudakete mono o
omou koro kana
The sea at Ise:
Raging rapids with the tides,
Where pebbles
Shatter, gloom
Filling my thoughts these days…

Ietaka.
980

The Right state: the Left’s poem is clichéd. The Left state: the Right’s poem is that of Shigeyuki.

In judgement: the Left’s poem is clichéd, but in addition to this uses ‘goes on and on’ (tsuzukite), which is not something one should say. The Right’s poem is, indeed, overly close to Shigeyuki’s, so both Left and Right poem are deficient and lacking in any element allowing a win.

Love V: 17

Left (Win).
悲しきは境異なる中として亡き玉までもよそに浮かれん

kanashiki wa
sakai kotonaru
naka to shite
naki tama made mo
yoso ni ukaren
How sad it is:
Beyond the borders of this life
Should our bond endure
Even your departed soul
So distant, would I trail after…

Lord Sada’ie
873

Right.
忘れずよ幾雲井とは知らねども空行月の契ばかりは

wasurezu yo
iku kumoi to wa
shiranedomo
sora yuku tsuki no
chigiri bakari wa
I will not forget!
How far beyond the clouds you are
I know not, yet
As the moon across the skies,
Is my simple vow to you…

Jakuren
874

Left and Right: no faults to mention.

In judgement: although the Left’s poem sounds a little over-familiar, it certainly does have conception. The Right’s poem does sound smooth, but the origin poem has ‘Forget me not’ (wasuru na yo) – and this has ‘I will not forget’ (wasurezu yo) – the origin poem has ‘for distant as the clouds’ (hodo wa kumoi ni) – and this has ‘how far beyond the clouds’ (iku kumoi to wa); and ‘as the moon across the skies’ (sora yuku tsuki no) is identical, so the only part which as been changed is ‘I shall return – ‘til then’ (meguri au made). It is only to be expected that it would sound good, given that it presents much of the same material in the same order. The Left should win.

Summer II: 26

Left.

雲井までひゞきやすらん夏山の峰より高き蝉の諸聲

kumoi made
hibiki ya suran
natsuyama no
mine yori takaki
semi no morogoe
To the very clouds
Do they resound?
In summer, the mountain
Peaks they do surpass:
The cicadas’ jostling songs.

Lord Ari’ie.

291

Right (Win).

鳴きすさむひまこそなけれをちこちにやがて待ち取る蝉の聲ごゑ

nakisusamu
hima koso nakere
ochikochi ni
yagate machitoru
semi no koegoe
Respite from song,
However brief, there’s none!
Both near and far
Wait but a moment and a
Cicada calls.

Lord Takanobu.

292

The Right say, ‘The conception of the Left’s poem is trite. The comparison of these things (the cicadas’ songs and the mountains’ height) goes against the spirit of the topic.’ The Left have nothing, and no reason, to say anything.

Shunzei agrees: ‘Better than the over-wrought language of the Left’s poem, the Right’s “Both near and far wait but a moment” (ochikochi ni yagate machitoru) suits the topic well. The Right must win.’

Summer I: 17

Left (Win).

雲井より立つる使にあふひ草幾年かけつ賀茂の川波

kumoi yori
tatsuru tsukai ni
aoigusa
ikutose kaketsu
kamo no kawanami
From the palace ‘bove the clouds
The messengers descend in
Hollyhocks;
How many years have
They met the ripples on Kamo River?

A Servant Girl.

213

Right.

年ごとのけふのみあれにあふひ草かゝるかざしはあらじとぞ思

toshigoto no
kyō no miare ni
aoigusa
kakaru kazashi wa
araji to zo omou
Every year
For the festival, today,
Hollyhocks
Apart, decorations
Are there none!

Lord Tsune’ie.

214

The Right remark that, ‘the waves appear somewhat abruptly’ in the Left’s poem, while the Left simply say, ‘from an unusual beginning, the Right’s poem says simply “decorations are there none”, which is obvious.’

Shunzei contents himself with, ‘The Left wins by a small margin.’

Spring II: 14

Left (Win).

冬枯れの芝生が下に住みしかど春は雲ゐにあがる雲雀か

fuyugare no
shibafu ga shita ni
sumishikado
haru wa kumoi ni
agaru hibari ka
Winter-burned
The greensward, and beneath it
Dwelling, yet
With springtime to the skies
Ascending, ‘tis the skylark.

Lord Kanemune.

87

Right.

雲雀あがる春の燒野の末遠み都のかたは霞なりけり

hibari agaru
haru no yakeno no
sue tōmi
miyako no kata wa
kasumi narikeri
Skylarks soar above
The springtime stubble burned fields;
To the distance far
Towards the capital, all
With haze is covered.

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

88

The Right state that the Left’s poem ‘would probably be better’ without the final ka (the use of this particle, marking rhetorical tone, was considered old-fashioned by the time the poem was written, and this old-fashioned air is what the Right are criticising). The Left reply that the final two stanzas of the Right’s poem ‘are not effective’, probably suggesting that the poem implies the capital is on fire, rather than simply being concealed by smoke from stubble-burning.

Shunzei merely remarks that the Left’s criticisms are ‘apposite, in general’ and awards them the victory.