Left (Tie).
言はぬ間は思ふも心九十九髪さは僞りの夢や見てまし
iwanu ma wa
omou mo kokoro
tukumogami
sa wa itsuwari no
yume ya mitemashi |
While he’s said not a word,
If love in his heart
Arrived for my white hair,
Then a false dream
Would I see in truth? |
Lord Kanemune.
849
Right.
戀初めし心の色に積む年は我黒髪に現れにけり
koi someshi
kokoro no iro ni
tsumu toshi wa
wa ga kurogami ni
arawarenikeri |
Since I first awoke to love
The hues of passion in my heart by
The drifting years
Upon my raven tresses
Are made clear. |
Nobusada.
850
The Right state: is this a reference to the recent poem ‘seeing a dream with white hair’ (yume o miru to mo tsukumogami)? The Left state: ‘drifting years’ (tsumu toshi) is grating on the ear.
In judgement: both poems refer to hair, and the Gentlemen of the Right have asked whether the Left are referring to a ‘recent poem’, and I wonder when this poem might have been composed? It is impossible to entirely avoid referring to poems which are not included in the anthologies. Needless to say, though, it is normal for one’s poems not to resemble others to a great extent. In addition, I do not feel that ‘drifting years’ is that grating on the ear. However, simply saying ‘Upon my raven tresses are made clear’ (wa ga kurogami ni arawarenikeri) does not convey a strong sense of gray hair, I think. Finally, the configuration of the Left’s ‘then a false dream’ (sa wa itsuwari no) is particularly unacceptable, I think. So, a tie.
