Left (Win)
誰となく寄せては返る浪枕浮きたる舟の跡もとどめず
tare to naku yosete wa kaeru namimakura ukitaru fune no ato mo todomezu | To no one Cleaving, they return; Pillowed on the waves The drifting boats’ Wakes fail to linger long… |
A Servant Girl
1151
Right
何方を見ても忍ばむ難波女の浮き寝の跡に消ゆる白浪
izukata o mitemo shinobamu naniwame no ukine no ato ni kiyuru shiranami | Whither Should I look in longing? With a girl from Naniwa I slept briefly, but her Wake vanishes among the whitecaps… |
Jakuren
1152
Both Left and Right together state: neither poem is bad.
In judgement: both poems seem elegant in configuration and diction, but the Right’s ‘girl from Naniwa’ (naniwame) raises the same issue as ‘diving girl’, only more so – there is not even evidence on this from inclusion in the Collection of Poems to Sing, is there? The Left’s ‘cleaving, they return; pillowed on the waves’ (yosete wa kaeru namimakura) really does seem like a pleasure girl, so I must say it is superior.