Left.
君や憂き空やはつらきともすればあはれあな憂とうち眺めつつ
kimi ya uki
sora ya wa tsuraki
tomo sureba
aware ana u to
uchinagametsutsu |
Is it your coldness,
Or the sky’s cruelty?
No, it is neither, that
Feeling the cold
Keeps me gazing at the heavens… |
Lord Ari’ie
767
Right (Win).
もの思ふ心の秋の夕まぐれ真葛が原に風渡るなり
mono’omou
kokoro no aki no
yūmagure
makuzu ga hara ni
kaze watarunari |
Sunk in lonely thought
Am I this autumn
Evening:
A field of arrowroot
Blown over by the wind… |
Nobusada
768
The Right state: we find no faults to indicate in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the Right’s poem is commonplace, and the ending lacks force.
In judgement: although the Left’s poem reminds me of ‘Feeling the pain will I spend my time?’ (aware ana u to sugushitsuru kana), ‘the sky’s cruelty?’ (sora ya tsuraki) is also elegant [yū]. However, the expression ‘cold’ (u) appears in both the initial and final sections of the poem. The Right’s ‘field of arrowroot blown over by the wind’ (makuzu ga hara ni kaze watarunari) is charming. I don’t belief the ending lacks force. Both poems are fine, but as the Left contains a fault, the Right wins.
Left (Win).
身の憂きは思によらぬ世なれども君ばかりをばなをや恨みん
mi no uki wa
omou ni yoranu
yo naredomo
kimi bakari oba
nao ya uramin |
My lot is sad:
Nothing runs smooth
In the world of love, yet
Is it you, alone,
That I now will hate? |
Lord Kanemune
765
Right.
今はまた我も心や変るらん恋しき人の恨めしきかな
ima wa mata
ware mo kokoro ya
kawaruran
koishiki hito no
urameshiki kana |
Now, will again
My heart
Come to change?
Will one who was dear,
Become despised? |
Ietaka
766
Left and Right find no faults to indicate.
‘Will one who was dear become despised?’ (koishiki hito no urameshiki kana) is an extremely infantile expression. Thus, the Left wins.
Left.
あらざらん後の世までを恨みてもその面影をえこそうとまね
arazaran
nochi no yo made o
uramitemo
sono omokage o
e koso utomane |
Soon I will be no more, and
Even until the world to come
I may hate you, yet
Your face is
One I cannot but feel for! |
Lord Sada’ie
763
Right.
さても猶頼む心や残しけむ恨みけるさへ恨めしき哉
satemo nao
tanomu kokoro ya
nokoshikemu
uramikeru sae
urameshiki kana |
Even so, is yet
A hint of belief
Left to me?
That I have hated you,
Now I hate that more… |
Jakuren
764
The Right state: the Left’s ‘cannot but feel for’ (utomane) is poor. The Left state: we find no faults to indicate in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: the use of diction in both poems, however I consider it, is unworthy of praise. I wonder about the Left’s use of ‘cannot but feel for’ – it would have been better to use ‘cannot forget’, surely? The Right’s ‘is left’ (nokoshimemu) would have been better as ‘remains’ (nokoriken). ‘Even so, is yet’ (satemo nao) fails to link with the end of the poem, too. Neither is worthy of a win.
Left (Win).
浪ぞ寄る来てもみるめはなき物を浦見馴れたる志賀の里人
nami zo yoru
kitemo mirume wa
naki mono o
urami naretaru
shiga no satobito |
The waves roll in,
Approaching yet, seaweed
Have I none
And accustomed to despair am I
Like one dwelling in Shiga… |
A Servant Girl.
761
Right.
君故に涙の川に揺らさるるみをつくしともなり果てねとや
kimi yue ni
namida no kawa ni
yurusaruru
miotsukushi tomo
narihatene to ya |
For your sake
In a river of tears
I am afloat;
Though I am not a channel buoy,
Is that how I am to reach my end? |
Lord Tsune’ie
762
The Right state: the Left’s initial line is unsatisfactory. The Left state: the Right’s central line is also unsatisfactory.
In judgement: it is not just that the Right’s central line is unsatisfactory. A channel buoy, planted in a river and rotting away is quite a commonplace occurrence. For something to be ‘afloat’ (yurasaru), you would need to refer to flotsam, either of wood or bamboo. The Left should win.
Left.
あさましや何と恨みの添ひぬらん恋ばかりをも歎べき身に
asamashi ya
nani to urami no
soinuran
koi bakari o mo
nagekubeki mi ni |
How unexpected!
Why does my despite
Increase?
Love is the only thing
Which should cause me grief… |
Lord Suetsune
759
Right.
思きや逢人も無き恋路より深き恨みに下り立たむとは
omoiki ya
au hito mo naki
koiji yori
fukaki urami ni
oritatamu to wa |
I would not have thought
That with no one to meet
Upon the paths of love
Into the depths of despite
I would step down… |
The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office
760
The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks thought, and is pedestrian. The Left state: where is it that the poet is ‘stepping down’ to?
In judgement: the initial sections of both Left and Right, ‘How unexpected!’ (asamashi ya) and ‘I would not have thought’ (omoiki ya) fail to link clearly with the sense at the end of the poems, but the Left’s sense is particularly immature. The Right’s ‘stepping down’ is doubtless a reference to the water’s edge. Thus, the Right wins.
Left.
引かへて荒き氣色をみだらおのこまごまとこそ恨かけつれ
hikikaete
araki keshiki o
midarao no
komagoma to koso
uramikaketure |
You have changed, and
Dishevelled in appearance
As a piebald
Colt, you are not, yet
I hate you still! |
Kenshō
757
Right (Win).
露しげき秋の野も狭の眞葛原いつまでよその物と聞きけん
tsuyu shigeki
aki no no mo se no
makuzubara
itsu made yoso no
mono to kikiken |
Dew drenched,
The autumn field is all
Covered with kuzu,
For how long will such distant
Whispers reach me? |
Lord Takanobu
758
The Right state: the Left’s poem sounds pretentious. We are also unable to accept the use of ‘colt, you are not’ (komagoma). The Left state: the Right’s poem sounds archaic.
In judgement: ‘Dishevelled in appearance as a piebald’ (araki keshiki o midarao) is entirely unacceptable style. As for ‘covered with kuzu’, while ‘field is all’ (no mo se) is also undesirable, the final section is elegant. It should win over ‘piebald’.
'Simply moving and elegant'