Left (Win).
戀詫びて我と眺めし夕暮も馴るれば人の形見がほなる
koiwabite
ware to nagameshi
yūgure mo
narureba hito no
katamigao naru |
Suffering with love
I have gazed
Upon the evening dark,
So used to it that it
Has become your keepsake! |
Lord Sada’ie.
827
Right.
明ぼののあはればかりは忍ぶれど今日をば出でず春の夕暮
akebono no
aware bakari wa
shinoburedo
kyō oba idezu
haru no yūgure |
The dawn’s
Sadness, I do just
Bear, but, oh,
Today, it will never come –
The evening in springtime! |
Nobusada.
828
The Right state: when one understands the purport of the Left’s poem, it comes as a revelation. The Left state: in the Right’s poem we are unable to grasp the sense of ‘it will never come’ (idezu). In addition, the conception of Love seems lacking.
In judgement: both poems ‘evenings’ are support by little diction, yet the conception of Love is profound, indeed, such that my own shallow knowledge finds it difficult to grasp. However, the Right’s ‘Today, it will never come’ (kyō oba idezu) certainly does seem difficult to comprehend. I would have to say that the Left’s ‘So used to it that it’ (narureba hito no) is marginally superior.
Left (Win).
君もまた夕や分きて眺むらん忘れず拂ふ荻の風哉
kimi mo mata
yūbe ya wakite
nagamuran
wasurezu harau
ogi no kaze kana |
Are you, once more, my darling,
Spending this evening
On thoughts of love?
Faithfully sweeps
The wind across the silver-grass… |
A Servant Girl.
825
Right.
時しもあれ悲しかりける思ひかな秋の夕に人は忘れじ
toki shi mo are
kanashikarikeru
omoi kana
aki no yūbe ni
hito wa wasureji |
Of all the times there are, now
Does sadness
Most fill my thoughts;
On an autumn evening
Unable to forget her… |
Ietaka.
826
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘faithfully sweeps’ (wasurezu harau). The Left state: while the Right’s poem is in keeping with the conception of the topic, it seem as if the reference to ‘evening’ serves little purpose.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘Spending this evening on thoughts of love’ (yūbe ya wakite nagamuran) is appropriate, but I find ‘The wind across the silver-grass’ (ogi no kaze) somewhat problematic. The initial section of the Right’s poem, too, is not bad, but saying ‘On an autumn evening unable to forget her’ (aki no yūbe ni hito wa wasureji) suggests that forgetting is the norm, and I wonder about that. The Left wins on account of its initial section.
Left.
夕まぐれひとつ離れて飛鳥も寢に行く方はありけりと見ゆ
yūmagure
hitotsu hanarete
tobu tori mo
ne ni yuku kata wa
arikeri to miyu |
As the evening comes
As a single, distant,
Flying bird
Going to roost do
I seem to be… |
Kenshō.
823
Right.
今は我待たじと思ふ心さへまたかき亂す蜘蛛の振舞
ima wa ware
mataji to omou
kokoro sae
mata kakimidasu
kumo no furumai |
Now, I
Will wait no more, I think, and
My very heart
Is thrown into confusion by
The spider spinning… |
Jakuren.
824
Both Left and Right state: we find no faults to remark upon.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘flying bird going’ (tobu tori no yuku kata) and the Right’s ‘spider spinning’ (kumo no furumai) are both certainly not uncharming. I make this round a tie.
Left (Win).
玉ほこの道行き人も心ありて來んと頼めよこの夕卜には
tamahoko no
michi yukibito mo
kokoro arite
kon to tanomeyo
kono yūke ni wa |
Jewelled spear straight
The road for this traveller:
If he longs for me,
Let it say, ‘Come with me!’,
This evening’s fortune! |
Lord Kanemune.
819
Right.
逢ことを頼むる暮と思せば入相の鐘も嬉しからまし
au koto o
tanomuru kure to
omoiseba
iriai no kane mo
ureshikaramashi |
‘We will meet,
On that you can rely, at dusk,’
He made me think, so
The sunset bell, too,
Does seem full of joy! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
820
The Right state: evening fortune-telling and crossroad divination are different things. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults.
In judgement: both evening fortune-telling and crossroad divination are conducted in the evening, and with either one could wish ‘Let it say, “Come with me!”’ (kon to tanomeyo), so this does not seem to be a mistake does it? The Right has the fault of having both ‘We will meet’ (au koto o) and ‘sunset bell, too’ (iriai no kane mo). The Left should win.
Left (Win).
つれなくて今日も過ぬと思には暮るゝ空さへ恨めしき哉
tsurenakute
kyō mo suginu to
omou ni wa
kururu sora sae
urameshiki kana |
Heartlessly
Has she spent today,
I think, and
Evening the darkening sky
Do I despise! |
Lord Suetsune.
817
Right.
あやにくに物ぞ悲しき待ちし日は曇る空さへ嬉しかりしを
ayaniku ni
mono zo kanashiki
machishi hi wa
kumoru sora sae
ureshikarishi o |
Unexpectedly,
All is sadness;
All day I waited, and
The very clouding of the sky
Was a joy, but… |
Lord Takanobu.
818
The Right: we find no faults to mention. The Left state: ‘The very clouding’ (kumoru sae koso) does not sound like a reference to the evening.
In judgement: in the Right’s poem, as it begins with ‘unexpectedly’ (ayaniku ni), it then becomes unnecessary to mention clouding. The Left’s poem is pleasant. It should win.
'Simply moving and elegant'