Tag Archives: love in the morning

Love IV: 12


hitorine no
sode no nagori no
hikage ni kienu
tsuyu mo arikeri
Sleeping solo
My sleeves remain
Damp in the morning;
The sunlight leaves untouched
The dewfall there.

A Servant Girl.

Right (Win).

michishiba o
wakete tsuyukeki
sode naraba
nuretemo kure mo
matamashi mono o
If the roadside grasses,
Have brushed dewfall
On these sleeves,
May to dampen them again, ‘til evening
I would wish to wait…


The Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Left state: there is a very recent poem, ‘If he would be wet with waves should surely wait for evening?’.

In judgement: simply saying, ‘Sleeping solo my sleeves remain damp in the morning’ (hitorine no sode no nagori no asajimeri) seems to lack the conception of love. I wonder who might have written the ‘recent poem’, ‘If he would be wet with waves should surely wait for evening?’ mentioned by the Right? How, indeed, can we avoid poems which are not in the anthologies? In any case, the poem here is ‘May to dampen them again, ‘til evening I would wish to wait’ and the initial line is different. This level of resemblance between poems is not uncommon. The Right’s poem is pleasant. It should win.

Love IV: 11


kumo kakari
kasanaru yama o
koe mo sezu
hedate masaru wa
akuru hi no kage
Trailed with cloud,
The layered mountains
I have not gone beyond, but
What stands between us most is
The light of the brightening sun.

Lord Sada’ie.

Right (Win).

isa inochi
omoi wa yowa ni
yūbe mo mataji
aki no akebono
I know not what’s to become of my life!
All my thoughts of love in the hours of night
Are quite exhausted, and
I cannot wait for evening
On this autumn dawn…


The Right state: from ‘Trailed with cloud’ (kumo kakari) to ‘The light of the brightening sun’ (akuru hi no kage), all is entirely unacceptable, is it not? The Left state: we wonder about the acceptability of ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’ (isa inochi).

In judgement: the Right have said that the Left’s poem is unacceptable from beginning to end, but can one really go so far as to say that? Furthermore, the Left query whether ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’, but I wonder whether I can recall this phrase being that bad. However, one is accustomed to saying that ‘this spring dawn’ (haru no akebono) is elegant, and although ‘this autumn dawn’ (aki no akebono) is a modern expression, the faults of the Left’s poem are particularly problematic, so the Right should win.

Love IV: 10


asa tode no
imo ga furikosu
kurokami wa
miru yosome sae
kokoro midarenu
In the morning, opening the door
Draped with my love’s
Tresses of black:
The sight any
Heart would excite!



oshimishi sode no
utsuriga o
yoso ni mo ima wa
omoi koso yare
To leave, upon my sleeves
Her scent was left, and
Now, so far away,
It recalls her still…


The Right state: the Left’s poem is pretentious. The Left state: the conception of morning fails to appear in the Right’s poem.

In judgement: Although the Left’s ‘tresses of black’ (kurokami) is used extremely frequently, the configuration of combining it with ‘my love, opening the door in the morning’ (asa tode no imo) whose ‘sight any heart would excite’ (miru yosome sae kokoro midare) is terrifying, is it not? The Right’s ‘upon my sleeves her scent was left’ (sode no utsuriga) does not sound objectionable. Although the conception of morning there is lacking, the Left simply has ‘tresses of black’ the ‘heart would excite’, which does not sound particularly in keeping with Love so, overall, the round should tie.

Love IV: 9


sora harete
yama no ha izuru
hikage ni mo
kawaki mo yaranu
sode no ue kana
The sky clears and
From the mountains’ edge appears
The sunlight, yet
It cannot even dry
The surface of my sleeves…

Lord Ari’ie.

Right (Win).

sawa ni idete
asana tsumu
tomo oboenu
ayashiki hodo ni
nururu sode kana
Going out to the marshes and
Gathering greens for breakfast –
I cannot recall at all;
How strange it is that
My sleeves are then so drenched…

Lord Tsune’ie.

The Right state: we find no faults to mention in the Left’s poem. The Left state: recalling gathering greens for breakfast is something one can do in the afternoon or the evening. In addition, ‘I cannot recall’ (oboenu) is prosaic in content.

In judgement: the Left’s poem simply says that the sunlight is unable to dry one’s sleeves, and contains little conception of love. The Right’s ‘sleeves’ sound as if they have been most extraordinarily drenched, so the Right should win.

Love IV: 8

Left (Win).

itsu shika to
kesa yaru fumi no
koto no ha wa
au ureshisa to
akanu urami to
So swiftly
On this morning, I send a letter and
In its words
The joy of meeting and
My unending despair…

Lord Kanemune.


ima wa tada
koi ni wagami ni
akenu to kikedo
oki zo irarenu
Now, simply
With love I
Am weakened;
Hearing that the dawn has come
I am unable to rise…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

The Right state: the Left’s ‘On this morning, I send a letter and in its words’ (kesa yaru fumi no koto no ha) seems utterly plain. Simply composing on the morning after seems somewhat dubious. The Left state: we find nothing to mention in the Right’s poem.

In judgement: although the Right does convey the pathos of love, the Left’s ‘On this morning, I send a letter’ is certainly superior.

Love IV: 7


kesa yori wa
saraba namida ni
sode no shizuku ka
From this morning
Should it be that my tears
I will just let fall, for
I cannot wring out
These droplets from my sleeves…

Lord Suetsune.


ware gotoku
hito ya koishiki
miru mama ni
yagate shiboruru
asagao no hana
As much as I
Is there anyone in love?
While watching,
Soon enough languish,
The morning glory blooms…

Lord Takanobu.

The Right state: is saying ‘From this morning’ (kesa yori wa) suggesting that the feelings have particularly arisen this morning? In response: this is simply the style of poetry. It is commonplace to use expressions such as ‘today it is that’ (kyō wa sa wa) or ‘now it is that’ (ima wa sa wa). The Left state: the initial two lines of the Right’s poem pay no attention to style.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, commencing ‘From this morning’ (kesa yori wa) and then saying ‘Should it be that my tears’ (saraba namida ni) does not seem poor. I do wonder about the final ‘These droplets from my sleeves’ (sode no shizuku ka), though. As for the Right’s poem, I do not feel that the initial two lines lack attention to style. The entirety of both teams comments display no knowledge of poetry, and fail to identify the merits or faults of the opposing poems. I feel that both the Left and the Right poems this round are elegant. Thus, the round should tie.