Left (Win).
袖の波胸の煙は誰も見よ君が憂き名の立つぞ悲しき
sode no nami
mune no kemuri wa
tare mo miyo
kimi ga ukina no
tatsu zo kanashiki |
The waves upon my sleeves, and
The smoke rising from my breast –
Let all see them!
But should you, my love, be called heartless,
That would make me sad… |
A Servant Girl.
731
Right.
うとからぬ人こそ今は恨みけれ忍びしほどの心強さを
utokaranu
hito koso ima wa
uramikere
shinobishi hodo no
kokorozuyosa o |
My family and friends
Now I do
Despise:
For when our love was hidden,
They were all so cold… |
Jakuren.
732
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: by prioritising the emotions of the relatives, the poem does not clearly express the conception of Love.
In judgement: the initial section of the Left’s poem sounds fine, but the final ‘would make me sad’ (kanashiki) is going too far. The Gentlemen of the Left have accurately described the faults of the Right’s poem, but beyond that there is nothing praiseworthy in the poem’s style, either. Thus I make the Left the winner.
Left.
我戀は涙の雨の世にふりて袖より外にあらはれにけり
wa ga koi wa
namida no ame no
yo ni furite
sode yori hoka ni
arawarenikeri |
My love
With a rain of tears
Has filled the world, and
In places other than my sleeves
Has been revealed. |
Kenshō.
729
Right (Win).
人知れぬ心のうちに染めし色も千入になれば隱れざりけり
hito shirenu
kokoro no uchi ni
someshi iro mo
chishio ni nareba
kakurezarikeri |
Unknown to all
Within my heart
Stained with passion’s hues
A thousand times over
I could hide no longer! |
Lord Takanobu.
730
Left and Right both have nothing to say.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘in places other than my sleeves’ (sode yori hoka ni) is a little old-fashioned. It does not win over the Right’s ‘thousand times’
Left.
よしさらば今は忍ばで戀死なん思に負けし名にだにも立て
yoshi saraba
ima wa shinobade
koishi nan
omou ni makeshi
na ni dani mo tate |
I care not if it’s so!
Now, with no concealment
Will I die of love!
One defeated by his feelings:
Let that be how I’m known! |
Lord Sada’ie.
727
Right (Win).
君戀ふと人には知れぬいかにして逢はぬ憂き名を今は包まん
kimi kou to
hito ni wa shirenu
ika ni shite
awanu ukina o
ima wa tsutsuman |
That I love you
Has become known to all,
But what to do?
The rumour that you’ll cruelly not meet –
How will you conceal that? |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
728
The Right state: the final section of the Left does not match the conception. The Left state: the Right’s poem is old-fashioned in conception.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem really does seem unsatisfactory. While ‘has become known to all’ in the Right’s poem does sound old-fashioned, again despite the presence of old-fashioned diction, it is a fine poem. I make ‘known to all’ the winner!
Left (Tie).
袖の上にかかる涙の白玉を包まねばこそよそに散るらめ
sode no ue ni
kakaru namida no
shiratama o
tsutsumaneba koso
yoso ni chirurame |
To my sleeves
Cling tears
As pearls:
I could not cover them, so
They have scattered far as wide, it seems… |
Lord Ari’ie.
725
Right.
よしさらば逢はで重ぬる濡れ衣の恨みに朽る妻もあらなん
yoshi saraba
awade kasanuru
nureginu no
urami ni kutsuru
tsuma mo aranan |
I care not if it’s so!
Without meeting, laid atop each other
Our dampened clothes
From despair will decay
At the hem – that is my desire! |
Nobusada.
726
The Right state: in the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the tears are being scattered by some other person. The Left state: we cannot understand the Right’s poem at all.
Shunzei’s judgement: the entirety of the final section of the Left’s poem is inappropriate [kashinserarezaru]. While the configuration of the Right is elegant, it does, indeed, seem somewhat difficult to grasp. Compared, the round is a tie.
Left (Win).
干しかねし袂ははやく朽はてゝ戀ぞ涙にあらはれにける
hoshikaneshi
tamoto wa hayaku
kuchihatete
koi zo namida ni
arawarenikeru |
Unable to dry
My sleeves have already
Rotted away;
Love, with tears
Is revealed. |
Lord Kanemune.
723
Right.
忍びこし思を今は忘れられん外の人目と嘆くばかりぞ
shinobikoshi
omoi o ima wa
wasuraren
yoso no hitome to
nagekubakari zo |
My hidden
Love is known, now, but
When I am forgotten
Others’ gazes will
Only cause me grief. |
Ietaka.
724
The Right state that the Left’s poem sounds ‘very hackneyed’ [ito, furumekashi], while the Left complain that they cannot hear the link between ‘when I am forgotten’ (wasuraren) and the subsequent material [tsuzukite mo kikoezu].
Shunzei’s judgement: While the Left’s poem may sound hackneyed, there is not a previous example which it resembles closely [sashite sono uta to wa kikoezu]. At the same time, it is extremely tasteful in form [utazama wa yū narubeshi]. Thus, the Left wins.
Left.
身にあまる恋は中々よかりけり人目を包む歎きなければ
mi ni amaru
koi wa nakanaka
yokarikeri
hitome o tsutsumu
nagekinakereba |
Made known to all
Love is much
Better!
Hiding from prying eyes:
The grief of that is gone! |
Lord Suetsune
721
Right (Win).
みさごゐる磯の松が根浪かけてあらわれにける戀ぞわりなき
misago iru
iso no matsu ga ne
nami kakete
arawarenikeru
koi zo warinaki |
An osprey rests
Upon the sea-shore pine, roots
Washed by the waves, and
Revealed;
Love is hopeless… |
Lord Tsune’ie
722
The Gentlemen of the Right state: ‘better’ (yokarikeri), really? The Left state: ‘hopeless’ (warinaki), too!
Shunzei’s judgement: the Right’s poem seems like it should win. With such a superlative use of ‘better’, I wonder if how good the poem can be!
'Simply moving and elegant'