Tag Archives: Love

Love VI: 19

Left.
下とをる涙に袖も朽ちはてゝ着るかひもなき雨衣かな

shita tōru
namida ni sode mo
kuchihatete
kiru kai mo naki
amagoromo kana
Right through to below
With tears are even my sleeves
Quite rotted;
Putting it on would be pointless
This raincoat of mine!

Kenshō.
937

Right (Win).
戀ゆへに身を知る雨の年を經て心のうちにかき曇るらむ

koi yue ni
mi o shiru ame no
toshi o hete
kokoro no uchi ni
kakikumoruramu
For love
The rain knows how I feel full well
Down through the years
Within my heart
The clouds grow ever thicker…

The Supernumerary Master of the Empress Household Office.
938

The Right state: the Left’s ‘right through to below’ (shita tōruʼ) sounds as if the poet is passing below the palace! The Left state: in this poem it is not at all clear why it is that ‘the rain knows how I feel full well’ (mi o shiru ame).

In judgement: the Left, by using ‘right through to below’, has forgotten that ‘raincoat’ (amagoromo) evokes the sense of a salt-hut and, because there is nothing in the poem to suggest a location by the sea, amagoromo appears to be the clothing of a nun, or something similar. As for the Right’s ‘the rain knows how I feel full well’, it is simply ‘for love’. This seems plain to me. The Right wins.

Love VI: 14

Left.
ひとり寢の床に吹くる秋風のまた我戀をおどろかす哉

hitorine no
toko ni fukikuru
akikaze no
mata wa ga koi o
odorokasu kana
Sleeping alone
To my bed comes blowing
The autumn wind, and
Again, all my love
Returns…

Lord Kanemune.
927

Right (Win).
つてにだにとはぬ君かな吹風もまつにはことに音する物を

tsute ni dani
towanu kimi kana
fuku kaze mo
matsu ni wa koto ni
otosuru mono o
If only it brought a rumour
Of you, who never comes!
The gusting wind
From the pines plucks special
Sounds…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
928

The Right state: what need is there for ‘again’ (mata) in the Left’s poem? The Left state: the Right’s poem is difficult to recite.

In judgement: the Right’s final ‘from the pines plucks special’ (matsu ni wa koto ni) is fine. It must win.

Love VI: 11

Left (Tie).
我戀や晴れゆくままの空の雲よそにのみして消ぬべき哉

wa ga koi ya
hareyuku mama no
sora no kumo
yoso ni nomi shite
kienubeki kana
Is my love
As the clearing
Clouds with within the skies?
While you remain distant
Must I fade away…

Lord Ari’ie.
921

Right.
をのづから閨もる月も影消えてひとりかなしき浮雲の空

onozukara
neya moru tsuki mo
kage kiete
hitori kanashiki
ukigumo no sora
From my
Bedchamber the flooding moon
Light has vanish;
To be alone is sad, as
The heartless drifting, clouds.

Lord Takanobu.
922

The Right state: the central line of the Left’s poem is stiff. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults.

In judgement: the statements in regard to both poems are at variance with my own opinion. I will refrain from expressing that here, although I do regret that, somewhat. If, indeed, a central line is core, then it is better for it to lack connection with the remainder of the poem. In the case of the Left’s poem, however, it seems well linked with what follows. As for the Right’s poem, ‘bedchamber the flooding moon’ (neya moru tsuki) is not phrasing which is acceptable to me. However, the Left’s initial section seems pleasant, and the Right’s final section is elegant. Thus, the round is a tie.

Love VI: 9

Left.
戀わびて心空なる浮雲や行衛も知らずはてはなるべき

koi wabite
kokoro sora naru
ukigumo ya
yukue mo shirazu
hate ha narubeki
Suffering with love
My heart is as the sky-bound
Drifting clouds:
In some unknown place
Is where it will end…

Lord Kanemune.
917

Right (Win).
戀死ぬるよはの煙の雲とならば君が宿にやわきてしぐれん

koi shinuru
yowa no kemuri no
kumo to naraba
kimi ga yado ni ya
wakite shiguren
Should I die of love, and
Final smoke
Clouds become,
To your dwelling will I
Drift and descend?

Nobusada.
918

The Right state: does the Left’s poem really expresses the love of drifting clouds? The Left state: the Right’s poem is more suited to the topic of ‘Love and Smoke’.

In judgement: with regard to the Left’s poem, Lady Sagami’s poem from the Eishō Imperial Palace Poetry Competition: ‘Before I know it/In my heart, sky-bound/is my love’ (itsu to naku/kokoro sora naru/wa ga koi ya) would be a good prior example, but this poem inserts ‘drifting clouds’ (ukigumo ya), which is illogical. As for the Right’s poem, ‘To your dwelling will I drift and descend?’ (kimi ga yado ni ya wakite shiguren) sounds fine. Thus, and for this reason, the Right wins.

 

Love VI: 1

Left (Win).
なぐさめし月にもはてはねをぞ泣く戀やむなしき空に滿つらん

nagusameshi
tsuki ni mo hate wa
ne o zo naku
koi ya munashiki
sora ni mitsuran
Comforted was I once by
The moon, but at the end
My sobs
For love, the vast spaces of
The heavens do seem to fill…

Kenshō
901

Right.
月よなをくまこそなけれかきくらす戀の涙は雨と降れども

tsuki yo nao
kuma koso nakare
kakikurasu
koi no namida wa
ame to furedomo
O, Moon! Before
You there is not a cloud, yet
Dimmed
With tears for love
The rain does fall…

Lord Takanobu.
902

The Right state: we find no faults to mention in the Left’s poem. The Left state: in the Right’s poem ‘O, Moon! Before’ (tsuki ya nao) is somewhat grating on the ear. In addition, the final section is clichéd.

In judgement: in the Left’s poem, ‘The moon, but at the end’ (tsuki ni mo hate wa) is certainly elegant. The Right’s poem begin’s ‘O, Moon!’ (tsuki yo) but lacks anything connected to it at the end. Thus, the Left must win.