Tag Archives: magaki

Love V: 23

Left (Tie).
隔てける籬の島のわりなきに住む甲斐なしや千賀の塩釜

hedatekeru
magaki no shima no
warinasa ni
sumu kai nashi ya
chika no shiogama
Barring our way is
The fence – Magaki Isle:
So unreasonable
That living close is pointless, as if
We were at Chika’s salt-kilns!

Kenshō
885

Right.
忍ぶ草竝ぶ軒端の夕暮に思ひをかはすさゝがにの糸

shinobugusa
narabu nokiba no
yūgure ni
omoi o kawasu
sasagani no ito
A weeping fern lies
Between our almost touching eaves;
In the evening
Love will pass
Along the spider’s thread.

Ietaka
886

The Right state: the Left’s ‘Magaki Isle’ (magaki no shima) and ‘Chika’s salt kiln’s’ (chika no shiogama) do not seem that nearby, do they? They only evoke closeness through wordplay. The Right state: we find no faults to indicated in the Left’s poem.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘Magaki Isle’ and ‘Chika’s salt kilns’, even if they are not that close, do not display a lack of technique in the conception of the current composition. I do wonder what to think about ‘so unreasonable’ (warinasa ni), though. The Right’s weeping ferns, with the spider’s behaviour transmitting the feelings of love, does not seem unreasonable either. This round, too, the poems are comparable and should tie.

Autumn III: 15

Left.

今日といへばやがて籬の白菊ぞ尋し人の袖と見えける

kyō to ieba
yagate magaki no
shiragiku zo
tazuneshi hito no
sode to miekeru
On this day
At last, along my lattice fence
White chrysanthemums:
Seeming like the sleeves of
One who came to call…

Lord Kanemune.

449

Right.

さか月に浮べる今日の影よりやうつろひ初むる白菊の花

sakazuki ni
ukaberu kyō no
kage yori ya
uturoisomuru
shiragiku no hana
In my wine cup
Floating on this day:
Does the moonlight
Bring on changing hues
For white chrysanthemum blooms?

Ietaka.

450

The Right say that having the phrase ‘at last, along my lattice fence’ (yagate magaki no) continuing one from the other is ‘unsatisfactory’ [kokoroyukazu]. The Left say that the Right’s phrasing sounds as if the change in colour is brought about by the blossom floating in the wine cup, rather than the moonlight, and query if this is appropriate.

Shunzei’s judgement: Is the Left’s ‘at last, along my lattice fence’ that poor [ashiku ya wa]? Furthermore, the Right’s poem simply means ‘when floating in the wine cup’ the colours ‘change’. Neither poem has any conspicuous faults [tomo ni toganaku kikoyu]. The round should tie.

Autumn I: 30

Left.

朝まだき庭も籬も野分して露をきあがる草の葉もなし

asa madaki
niwa mo magaki mo
nowakishite
tsuyu okiagaru
kusa no ha mo nashi
At the cusp of dawn
My garden and my fence, too,
After the gales,
Are drenched in dew
Flattened blades of grass – every one.

Lord Ari’ie.

359

Right.

夕間暮むら雲迷ひ吹風に枕定めぬ花の色いろ

yūmagure
muragumo mayoi
fuku kaze ni
makura sadamenu
hana no iroiro
In the dim dusk light
Crowding clouds confusedly
Blown by the breeze
Unable to rest are all
The many blooms.

Lord Takanobu.

360

The Right state that ‘linking “gales” with “drenched” is a poor expression’, while the Left feel that they have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei, again, broadly agrees: ‘What are we to make of the Left’s poem with a fence left standing in a garden after a gale? The Right’s “crowding clouds confusedly” is fine, indeed. Although the term “pillow” is unsuitable in this context, the Left’s “drenched in dew” cannot possibly be right here, either, and so the Right wins.”

Autumn I: 24

Left (Win).

月ぞ澄む里はまことに荒れにけり鶉の床を拂ふ秋風

tsuki zo sumu
sato wa makoto ni
arenikeri
uzura no toko o
harau aki kaze
Clear shines the moon, dwelling
O’er a house truly
Gone to ruin;
The quail’s bed
Brushed by autumn breezes…

Lord Sada’ie.

347

Sada’ie’s poem alludes obliquely to a famous poetic exchange from the Kokinshū, initiated by Ariwara no Narihira.

Right.

繁き野と荒果てにける宿なれや籬の暮に鶉鳴く也

shigeki no to
arehatenikeru
yado nare ya
magaki no kure ni
uzura nakunari
Overgrown are these fields, and
Is that a deserted
Dwelling?
By the fence at evening time
The quails are crying.

Jakuren.

348

Both teams concur that there are no faults at all this round.

Shunzei agrees: ‘Both poems are on the theme of now deserted dwelling places and are equally beautiful in expression, with the Right’s work reminiscent of “Fushimi at evening time”, but this implies a broad vista, and is not “the fence at evening time” too narrow? The Left’s final section is better, and wins, I think.’