Left (Win)
さざ浪や志賀津の海士になりにけりみるめはなくて袖のしほるる
| sazanami ya shigatsu no ama ni narinikeri mirume wa nakute sode no shioruru | Rocked by wavelets A fisherman at Shiga Bay Have I become! Glimpsing no seaweed, How my sleeves are soaked… |
Lord Suetsune
1171
Right
伊勢の海の底までかづく海人なれやみるめに人を思ふ心は
| ise no umi no soko made kazuku ama nare ya mirume ni hito o omou kokoro wa | At Ise, to the sea Bed dive Fisher-girls: Am I one, too? A seaweed-tangled glimpse of you Lodging in my heart… |
Jakuren
1172
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Left state: neither beginning nor end is sufficiently forcefully expressed.
In judgement: the conception and configuration of the Left’s ‘fisherman at Shiga Bay’ (shigatsu no ama) certainly seem splendid. That is really all there is to say about this poem. To make a deliberate point of seeking out elements which sound difficult is a pointless activity for the Way of Poetry and an individual poet. As for the Right’s poem, diving ‘to the sea bed’ (soko made) is just something that fisher-girls do. The Left must win.
Left (Win)
潮風の吹こす海人の苫ひさし下に思ひのくゆる頃かな
| shiokaze no fukikosu ama no toma hisashi shita ni omoi no kuyuru koro kana | The tidewinds Blow across the fisher girl’s Rush-woven roof; Below, in fires of passion Does she smoulder… |
A Servant Girl
1165
Right
みさごゐる磯良が崎にあさりする海士もみるめを猶求めけり
| misago iru isora ga saki ni asarisuru ama mo mirume o nao motomekeri | Ospreys hunt Along the strand at Isora; Digging for clams, The fisherman, a seaweed-strewn chance at love Is seeking still… |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1166
Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘blow across the fisher girl’s rush-woven roof’ (fukikosu ama no toma hisashi) is certainly elegant. The Right’s ‘ospreys hunt along the strand at Isora’ (misago iru isora ga saki) seems a kind of overblown style, yet the Left seems particularly pleasant in form. I make it the winner.
When she was asked about the possibility of a meeting.
みるめ刈る海人の行きかふ湊路に勿来の関も我は据ゑぬを
| mirume karu ama no yukikau minatoji ni nakoso no seki mo ware wa suenu o |
Gathering seaweed The fisherfolk go back and forth Along the harbour ways; Come not to the barrier of Nakoso – I have not placed it there, so… |
Ono no Komachi
小野小町
This poem is also Komachi-shū 小町集 (late. C9th) 5.
Left (Win).
浪ぞ寄る来てもみるめはなき物を浦見馴れたる志賀の里人
| nami zo yoru kitemo mirume wa naki mono o urami naretaru shiga no satobito |
The waves roll in, Approaching yet, seaweed Have I none And accustomed to despair am I Like one dwelling in Shiga… |
A Servant Girl.
761
Right.
君故に涙の川に揺らさるるみをつくしともなり果てねとや
| kimi yue ni namida no kawa ni yurusaruru miotsukushi tomo narihatene to ya |
For your sake In a river of tears I am afloat; Though I am not a channel buoy, Is that how I am to reach my end? |
Lord Tsune’ie
762
The Right state: the Left’s initial line is unsatisfactory. The Left state: the Right’s central line is also unsatisfactory.
In judgement: it is not just that the Right’s central line is unsatisfactory. A channel buoy, planted in a river and rotting away is quite a commonplace occurrence. For something to be ‘afloat’ (yurasaru), you would need to refer to flotsam, either of wood or bamboo. The Left should win.
Left (Win).
聞わたる契りも深き縁あらば末も絶せじ中河の水
| kikiwataru chigiri mo fukaki enishi araba sue mo taeseji nakagawa no mizu |
Word reaches me Of a bond whose depth Reaches the life before – should it be so Then it will endure to the very end, As do the waters of the Naka River! |
627
Right.
見るめなき磯間隱れに寄る浪の音ばかりにも袖濡らせとや
| mirume naki isoma gakure ni yoru nami no oto bakari ni mo sode nurase to ya |
No algae grows Hidden on this rocky shore Where the breakers fall; Is it their sound alone That tells me to soak my sleeves? |
628
The Gentlemen of both Left and Right state: the other team’s poem lacks thought.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both are most poetic examples of examples of verses using the imagery of waves and waters, and there appears to be very little pointless space between them, but rather than being told to ‘soak one’s sleeves’ with no sight of the lady, the ‘deep bond’ of the ‘waters of the Naka River’ seems superior.
Left.
氷ゐるみるめなぎさのたぐひかな上堰く袖の下のさゞ浪
| kōri iru mirume nagisa no tagui kana ue seku sode no shita no sazanami |
As ice-bound Algae on the beach Am I: The surface stopped up, but my sleeves Conceal a confusion of waves… |
621
Right.
我とはと思ふにかゝる涙こそ抑ふる袖の下になりぬれ
| ware to wa to omou ni kakaru namida koso osauru sode no shita ni narinure |
I should say nothing, I feel, and yet My tears, Held down by my sleeves, Do flow beneath them… |
622
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left do not seem to be expressing enough. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the initial line of the Right’s poem is difficult to pronounce. In addition, it is difficult to understand.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s ‘the surface stopped up, but my sleeves’ (ue seku sode no) and the Right’s ‘held down by my sleeves’ (osauru sode no) are both elegant in form [yū naru sama], but no matter how much I ponder them I find them difficult to comprehend, so again, there is no clear winner or loser this round.