Tag Archives: mist

Love VIII: 18

Left (Win)
鴨のゐる入江の浪を心にて胸と袖とにさはぐ戀かな

kamo no iru
irie no nami o
kokoro nite
mune to sode to ni
sawagu koi kana
Ducks flock on
The inlet’s waves
Within my heart, so
My breast and sleeves both
Are raucous with love!

Lord Sada’ie
1055

Right
佐保川の霧のまよひの程だにも妻もとむとて千鳥鳴夜を

saogawa no
kiri no mayoi no
hodo dani mo
tsuma motomu tote
chidori naku yo o
To the vernal river:
The mist brings confusion
And in its midst,
Seeking a mate,
A plover cries at night…

Jakuren
1056

The Gentlemen of the Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘my breast and sleeves both are raucous’ (mune to sode to ni sawagu)? The Left, in appeal, state: there is ‘the river-mouths of my sleeves’ (sode no minato) and ‘when I think, upon my breast’ (omoeba mune ni) so linking ‘breast’ and ‘sleeve’ is entirely uncontroversial. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we find no faults to mention in the Right’s poem.

In judgement: I understand the views of the Left’s poem held by both teams. It has also been said that the Right’s poem lacks faults. However, in ‘seeking a mate, a plover cries at night’ (tsuma motomu tote chidori naku yo o) only the two words ‘at night’ (yo o) have any conception of love. The remainder of the poem is simply about plovers, so there is little of love about it. ‘Breast and sleeves both’ (mune to sode to) should win.

GSIS VI: 388

Composed on plovers for a poetry competition in Eishō 4 [1050].

佐保川の霧のあなたに鳴く千鳥聲は隔てぬ物にぞ有ける

saFogaFa no
kiri no anata ni
naku tidori
kowe Fa Fedatenu
mono ni zo arikeru
The River Sao:
Mist rises, and from beyond
Come plover cries,
Their calls uninterrupted
By anything.

The Horikawa Minister of the Right [Fujiwara no Yorimune]

Autumn II: 7

Left (Win).

秋はなを霧の靡に鹿鳴て花も露けき夕なりけり

aki wa nao
kiri no nabiki ni
shika nakite
hana mo tsuyukeki
yū narikeri
It truly is autumn –
Through the fluttering mist
Comes the belling of a stag, and
The blooms, too, are dew-drenched
At even time…

Lord Kanemune.

373

Right.

哀をばいかにせよとて入會の聲うち添ふる鹿の音ならん

aware o ba
ika ni seyo tote
iriai no
koe uchi souru
shika no ne naran
More sad
Than this there’s nothing!
The evening bell
Tolling, accompanied by
The belling of a stag.

Lord Tsune’ie.

374

The Right wonder, ‘In the expression “the blooms, too”, what does the “too” (mo) connect with? In addition, simply finishing the poem “At even time” (yū narikeri) shows a lack of conception.’ The Left counter that, ‘In the Right’s poem, expressions such as “more sad” (aware o ba) and “the belling of a stag” (shika no ne naran) are feeble. In addition, what of having iriai (“evening [bell]”), without explicitly including “bell” (kane)?’

Shunzei’s judgement: While I do wonder about the expression, ‘at even time’, with the inclusion of ‘too’ in the phrase ‘the blooms, too’, there is the impression of unspoken emotional overtones to the poem. The configuration of the first phrase, too, is particularly tasteful. As for the Right’s poem, it is not the case that iriai must always be accompanied by kane (‘bell’) – one can hear the bell in the phrase. However, overall, the Left’s poem gives a stronger impression, and so wins.

Spring III: 3

Left.

夕暮に思へばけさの朝霞夜をへだてたる心地こそすれ

yūgure ni
omoeba kesa no
asa kasumi
yo o hedatetaru
kokochi koso sure
In the evening
Pondering on the morn’s
Morning mist:
That a night does stand between,
The feeling strikes me strongly.

Lord Ari’ie.

125

Right (Win).

かくしつゝつもればおしき春の日をのどけき物と何思らむ

kakushitsutsu
tsumoreba oshiki
haru no hi o
nodokeki mono to
nani omouramu
Doing this and that
Time passes, so I should regret
These days of spring,
Spent in peaceful
Thought – and for what!

Lord Takanobu.

126

Neither team has any comments to make about the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei states, ‘The Left seem to touch on the topic of the round only distantly, while the Right’s ‘Time passes, so I should regret’ (tsumoreba oshiki) appears particularly splendid. It must be the winner.