Left (Win)
よそにても君をし三輪の市ならば行かふ賤に立もをくれじ
| yoso nite mo kimi o shi miwa no ichi naraba yukikau shizu ni tachi mo okureji | Far away At Miwa Market Had I met you, The peasants going back and forth Would not be arriving late… |
Lord Ari’ie
1197
Right
住わびて世をふる道は知らるとも難波の蘆のかりにだに見ん
| sumiwabite yo o furu michi wa shiraru tomo naniwa no ashi no kari ni dani min | Life is hard, as it is To make one’s way I know, yet At Naniwa the reeds I reap for a brief glimpse of you… |
Jakuren
1198
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: the Right’s poem is not bad.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘at Miwa had I met you’ (kimi o shi miwa no) is elegant, but the final section is lacks force. The Right’s reaping reeds at Naniwa has only a faint sense of a merchant. Thus, the Left’s ‘Miwa Market’ (miwa no ichi) wins.
Left
あひそめて後は飾磨の市にても夜がれがちをばかへじとぞ思ふ
| aisomete nochi wa shikama no ichi nite mo yogaregachi o ba kaeji to zo omou | First dyed with indigo, and flushed with love, Then to Shikama Market as Night’s dark cloth, only occasionally Will he return I fear… |
Kenshō
1189
Right (Win)
尋ばやほのかに三輪の市に出て命にかふるしるしありやと
| tazuneba ya honoka ni miwa no ichi ni iedete inochi ni kauru shirushi ari ya to | I would pay a visit to one I briefly glimpsed at Miwa Market – leaving My life I would exchange Were there to be a sign from her? |
Lord Takanobu
1190
The Right state: both of the latter sections of the Left’s poem are extremely informal. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults, but we do wonder about the appropriateness of ‘exchange for a sign’ (kauru shirushi).
In judgement: ‘first dyed with indigo’ (aisomete), ‘Shikama Market’ (shikama no ichi) and ‘night’s dark cloth’ (yogaregachi) – all of these sound evocative. Following ‘I briefly glimpsed at Miwa Market’ (honoka ni miwa no ichi) with ‘exchange’ (kauru) sounds rather abrupt, but saying, ‘were there to be a sign’ (shirushi ari ya) at Miwa Market does not sound pointless. Generally speaking, on the Way of Poetry, poems whose conception is plainly expressed do not consider their diction, while poems which place weight upon their diction lack a clear conception. Poems which attempt to fully express their configuration are often at variance from the topic – all this is well known. The Left’s poem has a poor final section. The Right wins.
Composed as a poem on haze.
見渡せばそこと印の杉もなし霞のうちや三輪の山本
| miwataseba soko to sirusi no sugi mo nasi kasumi no uti ya miwa no yamamoto |
When I gaze across As sentinels there No cedars stand; Are you within the haze, O, Miwa Mountain’s foot? |
Captain of the Middle Palace Guards, Left Division, [Fujiwara no] Takafusa
左兵衛督隆房
Left (Tie).
たどりつる道に今宵は更けにけり杉の梢に在明の月
| tadoritsuru michi ni koyoi wa fukenikeri sugi no kozue ni ariake no tsuki |
Trailing along The roads, tonight Has ended, with The cedar tops touched By the dawntime moon. |
657
Right.
心こそ行方も知らぬ三輪の山杉の木ずゑの夕暮の空
| kokoro koso yukue mo shiranu miwa no yama sugi no kozue no yūgure no sora |
My heart’s Heading I know not! On Mount Miwa above The cedar tops lies The dusking evening sky. |
658
The Gentlemen of both the Left and Right state that they find no faults in the opposing poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left has ‘cedar tops touched by the dawntime moon’ (sugi no kozue ni ariake no tsuki) and the Right has ‘cedar tops lies the dusking evening sky’ (sugi no kozue no yūgure no sora) – both poems are charming [okashiku mo haberu]. While the Left lacks a reference to Mount Miwa, this makes it sound all the more charming, I think. ‘Dawntime moon’ is particularly fine in its tranquillity, but the Right’s ‘dusking evening sky’ is by no means inferior, so, again, the round should tie.