Tag Archives: Miwa

Love X: 29

Left (Win)
よそにても君をし三輪の市ならば行かふ賤に立もをくれじ

yoso nite mo
kimi o shi miwa no
ichi naraba
yukikau shizu ni
tachi mo okureji
Far away
At Miwa Market
Had I met you,
The peasants going back and forth
Would not be arriving late…

Lord Ari’ie
1197

Right
住わびて世をふる道は知らるとも難波の蘆のかりにだに見ん

sumiwabite
yo o furu michi wa
shiraru tomo
naniwa no ashi no
kari ni dani min
Life is hard, as it is
To make one’s way
I know, yet
At Naniwa the reeds
I reap for a brief glimpse of you…

Jakuren
1198

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: the Right’s poem is not bad.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘at Miwa had I met you’ (kimi o shi miwa no) is elegant, but the final section is lacks force. The Right’s reaping reeds at Naniwa has only a faint sense of a merchant. Thus, the Left’s ‘Miwa Market’ (miwa no ichi) wins.

Love X: 25

Left
あひそめて後は飾磨の市にても夜がれがちをばかへじとぞ思ふ

aisomete
nochi wa shikama no
ichi nite mo
yogaregachi o ba
kaeji to zo omou
First dyed with indigo, and flushed with love,
Then to Shikama
Market as
Night’s dark cloth, only occasionally
Will he return I fear…

Kenshō
1189

Right (Win)
尋ばやほのかに三輪の市に出て命にかふるしるしありやと

tazuneba ya
honoka ni miwa no
ichi ni iedete
inochi ni kauru
shirushi ari ya to
I would pay a visit to one
I briefly glimpsed at Miwa
Market – leaving
My life I would exchange
Were there to be a sign from her?

Lord Takanobu
1190

The Right state: both of the latter sections of the Left’s poem are extremely informal. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults, but we do wonder about the appropriateness of ‘exchange for a sign’ (kauru shirushi).

In judgement: ‘first dyed with indigo’ (aisomete), ‘Shikama Market’ (shikama no ichi) and ‘night’s dark cloth’ (yogaregachi) – all of these sound evocative. Following ‘I briefly glimpsed at Miwa Market’ (honoka ni miwa no ichi) with ‘exchange’ (kauru) sounds rather abrupt, but saying, ‘were there to be a sign’ (shirushi ari ya) at Miwa Market does not sound pointless. Generally speaking, on the Way of Poetry, poems whose conception is plainly expressed do not consider their diction, while poems which place weight upon their diction lack a clear conception. Poems which attempt to fully express their configuration are often at variance from the topic – all this is well known. The Left’s poem has a poor final section. The Right wins.

SZS I: 11

Composed as a poem on haze.

見渡せばそこと印の杉もなし霞のうちや三輪の山本

miwataseba
soko to sirusi no
sugi mo nasi
kasumi no uti ya
miwa no yamamoto
When I gaze across
As sentinels there
No cedars stand;
Are you within the haze,
O, Miwa Mountain’s foot?

Captain of the Middle Palace Guards, Left Division, [Fujiwara no] Takafusa
左兵衛督隆房

Love I: 29

Left (Tie).

たどりつる道に今宵は更けにけり杉の梢に在明の月

tadoritsuru
michi ni koyoi wa
fukenikeri
sugi no kozue ni
ariake no tsuki
Trailing along
The roads, tonight
Has ended, with
The cedar tops touched
By the dawntime moon.

A Servant Girl.

657

Right.

心こそ行方も知らぬ三輪の山杉の木ずゑの夕暮の空

kokoro koso
yukue mo shiranu
miwa no yama
sugi no kozue no
yūgure no sora
My heart’s
Heading I know not!
On Mount Miwa above
The cedar tops lies
The dusking evening sky.

Nobusada.

658

The Gentlemen of both the Left and Right state that they find no faults in the opposing poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left has ‘cedar tops touched by the dawntime moon’ (sugi no kozue ni ariake no tsuki) and the Right has ‘cedar tops lies the dusking evening sky’ (sugi no kozue no yūgure no sora) – both poems are charming [okashiku mo haberu]. While the Left lacks a reference to Mount Miwa, this makes it sound all the more charming, I think. ‘Dawntime moon’ is particularly fine in its tranquillity, but the Right’s ‘dusking evening sky’ is by no means inferior, so, again, the round should tie.

Love I: 28

Left (Win).

偽のしるしと杉を三輪の山訪ひつゝ來たる甲斐しなければ

itsuwari no
shirushi to sugi o
miwa no yama
toitsutsu kitaru
kai shinakereba
How false!
For proof to the cedars
On Mount Miwa
Have I come visiting many times
To no purpose.

Lord Suetsune.

655

Right.

三輪の山杉立つ門を訪へとだに頼めぬ道に迷ころかな

miwa no yama
sugi tatsu kado o
toe to dani
tanomenu michi ni
mayoi koro kana
On Mount Miwa
My gate where cedars stand
Come visit – not even
That have you asked, so my way
Have I lost…

Jakuren.

656

Both Right and Left can find no fault with the other’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems refer to Mount Miwa, and it is, perhaps a bit regrettable [kuchioshiku] that the Left uses the phrase ‘How false! For proof’ (itsuwari no shirushi)in this context. In the Right’s ‘my gate where cedars stand’ (sugi tatsu kado) , tatsu sounds insufficient as diction [kotoba, koto tarazu kikoyu]. The Left’s poem, moreover, is tasteful in form [utazama yū naru].

Miscellaneous 82

Left (Tie).

いく世へぬかざし折けんいにしへに三輪の檜原の苔の通路

ikuyo henu
kazashi oriken
inishie ni
miwa no hihara no
koke no kayoiji
How many ages passed?
Twigs plucked and placed in hair,
Long ago
In Miwa’s cypress groves,
Along the moss-covered paths…

163

Right

見ずしらずうづもれぬ名の跡やこれたなびき渡る夕暮の雲

mizu shirazu
uzumorenu na no
ato ya kore
tanabiki wataru
yūgure no sora
Unseen, unknown,
Of an everlasting name
This the only trace,
Trailing across
The evening sky?

164