The Right state: we are unfamiliar with the expression ‘Oyamada Barrier’ (oyamada no seki). The Left state: it sounds as if it is tears that are ceaseless at the Barrier at Kiyomi.
In judgement: the Left’s poem is stylistically tasteful, but with only ‘can a meeting, like the waters round the rice seedlings’ (au koto wa nawashiro mizu) the conception of love is weak is it not? The Right’s poem metaphorically has tears ceaseless at the Barrier at Kiyomi, and with the ta present, I accept the Left’s point to a certain extent, but this type of thing is not unusual in metaphorical poems. In addition, there is little reason to imagine the waters round the rice-seedlings being blocked. As it has a stronger focus on Love, the Right wins.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we are not accustomed to hearing the expression ‘Arinare River’ (arinaregawa), and the ending of the poem is old-fashioned. The Gentlemen of the Left state: ‘are flooded over’ (take kosu hodo) sounds excessively modern.
In judgement: ‘Arinare River’ is unusual, and the final section of the Left’s poem is certainly old-fashioned. The ‘river of tears’’ (namidagawa) ‘channel buoys’ (miotsukushi) do seem to be enduring an excess of water, don’t’ they! The round should tie.
When she had been living with Prince Motonaga for some time, as an amusement the Prince tied up a box with something in it with his under-belt and, saying he would be back for it, left it lying about somewhere; after he had gone out, she was abducted and hidden away by Prince Tsune’akira, and it was only after many days and months had gone by that she returned to her former house, and sent the box, with this to Prince Motonaga.
あけてだに何にかは見む水の江の浦島の子を思ひやりつつ
akete dani
nani ni ka Fa mimu
mizu no e no
urasima no ko wo
omoFiyaritutu
Even should I open it
What is it that I might see?
By the waters’ edge
The lad from Urashima
Is ever in my thoughts…