Tag Archives: moonlight

Autumn III: 29

Left.

有明の名ばかり秋の月影に弱り果てたる蟲の聲かな

ariake no
na bakari aki no
tsukikage ni
yowarihatetaru
mushi no koe kana
Dawn it is in
Name alone; in autumn
The moonlight is
At its faintest
As are the insects’ songs…

Lord Sada’ie.

477

Right (Win).

暮れて行秋の名残も山の端に月と共にや有明の空

kureteyuku
aki no nagori mo
yama no ha ni
tsuki to tomo ni ya
ariake no sora
Turning to dusk,
Is there a memento of autumn, too,
Upon the mountains’ edge
Together with the moon in
The dawning skies?

Jakuren.

478

The Right question the Left’s use of ‘Dawn it is in name alone’ (ariake no na bakari). The Left find no fault with the Right’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: I do not feel there is anything particularly wrong with ‘name alone; in autumn’ (na bakari aki no), but the Right’s ‘Together with the moon in the dawning skies’ (tsuki to tomo ni ya ariake no sora) seems most fine [yoroshikuhaberubeshi]. Thus, the Right wins.

Autumn III: 15

Left.

今日といへばやがて籬の白菊ぞ尋し人の袖と見えける

kyō to ieba
yagate magaki no
shiragiku zo
tazuneshi hito no
sode to miekeru
On this day
At last, along my lattice fence
White chrysanthemums:
Seeming like the sleeves of
One who came to call…

Lord Kanemune.

449

Right.

さか月に浮べる今日の影よりやうつろひ初むる白菊の花

sakazuki ni
ukaberu kyō no
kage yori ya
uturoisomuru
shiragiku no hana
In my wine cup
Floating on this day:
Does the moonlight
Bring on changing hues
For white chrysanthemum blooms?

Ietaka.

450

The Right say that having the phrase ‘at last, along my lattice fence’ (yagate magaki no) continuing one from the other is ‘unsatisfactory’ [kokoroyukazu]. The Left say that the Right’s phrasing sounds as if the change in colour is brought about by the blossom floating in the wine cup, rather than the moonlight, and query if this is appropriate.

Shunzei’s judgement: Is the Left’s ‘at last, along my lattice fence’ that poor [ashiku ya wa]? Furthermore, the Right’s poem simply means ‘when floating in the wine cup’ the colours ‘change’. Neither poem has any conspicuous faults [tomo ni toganaku kikoyu]. The round should tie.

Autumn II: 30

Left (Win).

心には見ぬ昔こそ浮びけれ月に眺むる廣澤の池

kokoro ni wa
minu mukashi koso
ukabikere
tsuki ni nagamuru
hirosawa no ike
Within my heart
Unseen times of old
Arise,
Gazing at the moon
Over Hirosawa Pond…

A Servant Girl.

419

Right.

行方なくながむる空も廣澤の池の心に澄める月影

yukuenaku
nagamuru sora mo
hirosawa no
ike no kokoro ni
sumeru tsukikage
Endlessly
Drawing my gaze: the skies, and
Hirosawa
Pond – right at the heart –
Bright moonlight.

Ietaka.

420

The Right state that the Left’s poem is ‘extraordinarily accomplished’ [sugoburu yoroshi]. The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s final section, ‘Gazing at the moon’ (tsuki ni nagamuru) is superb [yoroshiku haberi]. Thus, it must win.

Autumn II: 29

Left (Tie).

廣澤の池冴えわたる月影は都まで敷く氷成けり

hirosawa no
ike saewataru
tsukikage wa
miyako made shiku
kōri narikeri
Upon Hirosawa
Pond, so brightly falls
The moonlight that
All up to the capital is spread
A sheet of ice, or so it seems.

Kenshō.

417

Right.

月清み都の空も雲清みて松風拂ふ廣澤の池

tsuki kiyomi
miyako no sora mo
kumo sumite
matsukaze harau
hirosawa no ike
The moon, so clear;
The skies above the capital
Swept clean of cloud by
Winds rustling in the pines
Round Hirosawa Pond.

Jakuren.

418

Both Left and Right state that their opinions are as in the previous round.

Shunzei’s judgement: I do wonder about ‘Upon Hirosawa Pond, so brightly falls’ (hirosawa no ike saewataru) followed by ‘All up to the capital is spread a sheet of ice’ (miyako made shiku kōri). ‘The skies above the capital swept clean of cloud by winds rustling in the pines’ (miyako no sora mo kumo sumite matsukaze harau) is elevated in expression [take aru sama], and although ‘the moon, so clear’ (tsuki kiyomi) is archaic diction [furuki kotoba], in this poem it may be difficult to judge it entirely appropriate [yoroshi to mo kikinashigataku]. Thus, this round should tie.

Autumn II: 25

Left (Win).

眺めやる心のはては廣澤の池より遠ちに出る月影

nagameyaru
kokoro no hate ha
hirosawa no
ike yori ochi ni
izuru tsukikage
Gazing out
My heart goes
From Hirosawa
Pond somewhere far away
With the moonlight…

Lord Suetsune.

409

Right.

廣澤の池には沈む月影の音羽の山に立ちのぼる哉

hirosawa no
ike ni wa shizumu
tsukikage no
otowa no yama ni
tachinoboru kana
Into Hirosawa
Pond sinks
Moonlight:
Above Mount Otowa
Does it rise again?

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

410

The Right can find no fault with the Left’s poem this round. The Left, on the other hand, say that the Right’s poem, ‘is more redolent of Otowa Mountain than Hirosawa Pond’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Right seem to be gazing too far away. The Left must win.

Summer II: 11

Left.

風通ふ扇に秋のさそはれてまづ手なれぬる閨の月影

kaze kayou
ōgi ni aki no
sasowarete
mazu te narenuru
neya no tsukikage
The breeze wafted
By my fan to autumn
Beckons;
Accustomed before me to have
A moonlit bed.

Lord Sada’ie.

261

Right (Win).

うちはらふ扇の風のほどなきに思ひこめたる荻の音かな

uchiharau
ōgi no kaze no
hodo naki ni
omoikometaru
ogi no oto kana
Sweeping
My fan, the breeze
Ceaselessly
Brings thoughts of
Rustling silver grass.

Ietaka.

262

Both teams consider the other’s poems to be ‘not bad’ this round.

Shunzei, however, finds fault with both: ‘The Left’s “bed” (neya) does occur in both Chinese poetry and our own, however, I cannot help but find it undesirable. The Right’s “Sweeping my fan” (uchiharau ōgi) and “Brings thoughts of silver grass” (omoikometaru ogi) are both fine examples of mangled expression, and are, moreover, unclear. Thus, “a moonlit bed” must win, I feel.

Summer II: 4

Left (Win).

重ねても涼しかりけり夏衣うすき袂にやどる月影

kasanetemo
suzushikarikeri
natsugoromo
usuki tamoto ni
yadoru tsukikage
Layered on, yet
‘Tis cool, upon
My summer garb’s
Flimsy sleeves
Rests moonlight.

A Servant Girl.

247

Right.

夏衣へだつともなき袂にも猶よそにこそ風は吹きけれ

natsugoromo
hedatsu mo naki
tamoto ni mo
nao yoso ni koso
kaze wa fukikere
My summer garb
Makes no hindrance
With its sleeves;
Far away is
The breeze a’blowing…

Ietaka.

248

Neither team can find any fault with the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei states, ‘The Left’s poem is perfectly balanced between beginning and end. Thus, it must win.’

Summer I: 23

Left (Tie).

大井川なを山陰に鵜飼舟いとひかねたる夜半の月影

ōikawa
nao yamakage ni
ukaibune
itoikanetaru
yowa no tsukikage
Upon the Ōi River,
Yet beneath the mountain’s shadow are
Cormorant boats,
Impossible to avoid,
Within the midnight moonlight.

A Servant Girl.

225

Right (Tie).

松浦河七瀬の淀を鵜飼舟くだしもはてゞ明けぬこの夜は

matsuragawa
nanase no yodo o
ukaibune
kudashi mo hatede
akenu kono yo wa
Down Matsura River’s
Seven swifts and stills
The cormorant boats,
Descent unfinished,
Find dawn ending night.

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

226

The Right have two criticisms of the Left’s poem: ‘First, are cormorants used on moonlit nights? Moreover, why continue on from the “mountain’s shadow” (yamakage) with a moonlit night?’ In turn, the Left query, ‘Why continue on from “seven swifts and stills” (nanase no yodo) with cormorant boats?’

Shunzei comments, ‘The defects of the Left’s poem have already been adequately identified by the gentlemen of the other team. The Right’s sequence “Seven swifts and stills the cormorant boats” certainly seems poor. Furthermore, “dawn ending night” (akenu kono yo wa) has a somewhat pretentious air. There is nothing much to distinguish between them, and the round should tie.’

Summer I: 6

Left.

花は散りぬいかにいひてか人待たん月だにもらぬ庭の梢に

hana wa chirinu
ika ni iite ka
hito matan
tsuki dani moranu
niwa no kozue ni
The blossoms all are fallen, and
What am I to say?
Does it await folk visiting?
The moonlight, leaving untouched
The treetops in my garden…

A Servant Girl.

191

Right (Win).

春深き野邉の景色と見しほどに緑は宿のこずゑ也けり

haru fukaki
nobe no keshiki to
mishi hodo ni
midori wa yado no
kozue narikeri
Spring lay deep
Across the fields
I saw, and then
The green was on my lodgings’
Treetops!

Jakuren.

192

Neither team has any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei states, ‘Both of these poems are superlative in configuration and diction [sugata kotoba tomo ni yū], but the Left’s “await folk visiting” (hito matan) seems slightly unsatisfying. The Right’s “green on my lodgings” (midori wa yado no) gives it a slight edge in configuration [sutata sukoshi wa masarubeku], and so it should win.”

Spring II: 30

Left (Tie).

さやかなる秋にもまされあはれかな月影かすむ有明の空

sayakanaru
aki no mo masare
aware kana
tsuki kage kasumu
ariake no sora
The clarity of
Autumn, too, is splendid and
Moving, indeed, I feel in
The hazy moonlight from
The daybreak sky.

Lord Ari’ie.

119

Right (Tie).

今はとてたのむの雁もうちわびぬ朧月夜の明ぼのゝ空

ima wa tote
tanomu no kari mo
uchiwabinu
oborozukiyo no
akebono no sora
‘Now we must return,’
The field resting geese
Lament, under the
Misty moonlit
Dawning sky.

Jakuren.

120

The Right team once again rate the Left’s poem as ‘satisfying’, while the Left say the Right’s is ‘especially satisfying. ’

Shunzei’s judgement is that ‘the Left’s “hazy moonlight from the daybreak sky” (tsuki kage kasumu ariake no sora) and the Right’s “Misty moonlit dawning sky” (oborozukiyo no akebono no sora) are both splendid. It is difficult, indeed, to decide between them. Another excellent tie.’