tamakushige hakone no yama no hototogisu mukau no sato ni asana asana naku
A jewelled comb On Hakone Mountain A cuckoo In that paradise Cries with every morn.[i]
[ii] This poem is inspired by: 心乎之 無何有乃郷尓 置而有者 藐孤射能山乎 見末久知香谿務 kokoro oshi / mukau no sato ni / okite araba / bakoya no yama o / mimaku chikakemu ‘My heart / In paradise / Should I leave behind, then / Mount Miaogushe / Would I soon come to see.’ Anonymous (MYS XVI: 3851). The Man’yō poem refers to Mount Bakoya (C. Miaogushe), a legendary Chinese mountain where immortals were said to dwell, and Sanetomo’s reference to Hakone echoes this due to the partial homophony between the place names.
yama no ha ni ariake no tsuki no nokorazu wa kasumi ni akuru sora o mimashi ya
Upon the mountains’ edge Had the moon at dawn Not lingered, then On the brightening, hazy Sky would I have turned my gaze?
Shō 11
Right
朝戸あけてながめなれたる明ぼのの霞ばかりに春を知るかな
asa to akete nagamenaretaru akebono no kasumi baraki ni haru o shiru kana
With morn, opening my door, and Accustomed to gazing At the dawn The haze is all that Tells me ‘tis spring![1]
Nagatsuna, Ranked without Office 12
The Left’s poem has ‘would I wish to see the skies brightening with haze’, which does not seem bad, but the initial line drop ‘dawn’ and the latter part ‘brightening with haze’ which is a bit dubious; the Right’s poem really has nothing special about it. The poems are comparable and tie.