Composed when I had held an archery entertainment, and made a model of Mount Yoshino, with a sage gazing at blossom upon it.
みよしのの山に入りけん山人となりみてしかな花にあくやと
| miyoshino no yama ni iriken yamabito to nari miteshi kana hana ni aku ya to | Into fair Yoshino’s Mountains would I go; A mountain man Having become Might I have enough of blossom? |
The Beginning of Summer
Left
ふるさとはこだかけれどもきみならぬほととぎすにもうとまれにけり
| furusato wa kodakakeredomo kimi naranu hototogisu ni mo utomarenikeri | Around this ancient estate The trees grow high, yet Not by you alone, By the cuckoo, too Am I despised. |
Tadamine
7
Right (Win)
やまがつのかきほにさけるうのはなはたがしろたへのころもかけしぞ
| yamagatsu no kakiho ni sakeru u no hana wa ta ga shirotae no koromo kakeshi zo | Along the mountain man’s Lattice fence bloom Deutzia: Whose white mulberry Robes are hung there? |
Mitsune
8
Left
つれもなき人をこふとて山びこのこたふるまでもなげきつるかな
| tsure mo naki hito o kou tote yamabiko no kotauru made mo nagekitsuru kana | A heartless Girl he loves, says he, The mountain man, Until she gives him her reply, Is full of grief! |
164
Right
我が恋は深山がくれの草なれやしげさまされど知る人のなき
| wa ga koi wa miyamagakure no kusa nare ya shigesa masaredo shiru hito no naki | My love: Hidden in the mountains’ heart are Grasses-is that it? Most lush, but Unknown to all. |
Ono no Yoshiki
165[1]
[1] Kokinshū XII: 560/Shinsen man’yōshū 462
Left (Win)
恋路には風やはさそふ朝夕に谷の柴舟行帰れども
| koiji ni wa kaze ya wa sasou asa yū ni tani no shibabune yukikaeredomo | Along the path of love Does the wind beckon me? Morning and evening Along the valley boats of brushwood Go back and forth, yet… |
A Servant Girl
1177
Right
真柴こる賤にもあらぬ身なれども恋ゆへわれも歎きをぞ積む
| mashiba koru shizu ni mo aranu mi naredomo koi yue ware mo nageki o zo tsumu | Cutting kindling as A mountain man is not My lot, yet For love do I Stack up my grief in logs! |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1178
Left and Right together state: there is no reason to make any criticisms here.
In judgement: although ‘beckon’ (sasou) in the Left’s poem should be ‘send’ (okuru), it is certainly elegant how it evokes thoughts of Captain Cheng travelling along the valley. The Right, beginning with ‘kindling’ (mashiba) and then having ‘grief in logs’ (nageki) sounds a little too similar, I think. The Left should win.
Left (Tie).
をのづからなさけぞみゆる荒手組む賤がそともの夕顔の花
| onozukara nasake zo miyuru arate kumu shizu ga soto mo no yūgao no hana |
How natural To be moved: Twined roughly round the fence Outside a peasant’s hut, Moonflower blooms… |
273
Right (Tie).
山賤の契のほどや忍ぶらん夜をのみ待つ夕顔の花
| yamagatsu no chigiri no hodo ya shinoburan yoru o nomi matsu yūgao no hana |
Is it with the mountain man Her time is pledged So secretly? For the night alone, awaiting, The moonflower bloom. |
274
The Right state, ‘it is normal diction to say ‘roughly’ (arate) ‘hang’ (kaku). Is it possible to also use ‘twine’ (kumu)?’ In response from the Left, ‘Yes, one can.’ The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei states, ‘Both poems are equally lacking in faults or merits. Whether one uses “roughly” twining or hanging, neither is particularly superlative, I think. “Her time is pledged” (chigiri no hodo ya) seems somehow lacking , too. This round must tie.’
Left.
これやこの人めも知らぬ山賤にさしのみ向かふ夕顔の花
| kore ya kono hitome mo shiranu yamagatsu ni sashi nomi mukau yūgao no hana |
Here Hidden from all eyes, To the mountain man Alone, she turns This moonflower bloom |
267
Right (Win).
賤の男が片岡しめて住む宿をもてなす物は夕顔の花
| shizu no o ga kataoka shimete sumu yado o motenasu mono wa yūgao no hana |
The peasant Hemmed in by hills around His house, Garlands it with Moonflower blooms. |
268
The Right grumble that ‘alone, she turns’ (sashi nomi mukau) is ‘grating on the ear’, while the Left wonder if ‘gardlands’ (motenasu) is appropriate (it’s not standard in the lexicon of poetry).
Shunzei simply says, ‘Both poems are equally lacking in faults or merits, but yet I feel the Right should win.’