Sent to someone who had served the empress of former Emperor Ichijō, who gone to Hyūga province.
あかねさす日にむかひても思ひいでよみやこはしのぶながめすらんと
| akane sasu Fi ni mukaFitemo omoFi’ideyo miyako Fa sinobu nagame suran to | Shining madder red Toward the sun have you made your way, but O, remember, To recall the capital, and Turn your gaze that way… |
Her Majesty, the Empress
Round Twelve
Left
うつり行く花の下道跡もなしながめも白き春の山風
| utsuriyuku hana no shita michi ato mo nashi nagame mo shiroki haru no yamakaze | The shifting Blossom on the paths beneath Leaves no footprints there; My gaze with whiteness filled By spring’s breezes in the mountains. |
Dōchin
23
Right (Win)
身にかへておもふもくるし桜花さかぬみ山に宿もとめてん
| mi ni kaete omou mo kurushi sakurabana sakanu miyama ni yado mo tometen | It should be me instead, I think, but even that brings pain; Where cherry blossoms Fail to bloom, deep within the mountains Should I make my home. |
Dharma Master Nyokan
24
The Left’s poem does not sound poor, but has ‘gaze with whiteness’—a long time ago, Lay Priest Toshinari repeatedly said that it is not appropriate to compose about looking at something specific using ‘gaze’. The initial and concluding section of the Right’s poem sound fine—it should win.
Love
Left
恋せじと御手洗川に御祓して神うけつらんとおもほゆるかな
| koi seji to mitarashigawa ni oharaishite kami uketsuran to omohoyuru kana | I’ll not fall in love, and At the River Mitarashi Purify myself— Would the gods then accept me, I wonder! |
25
恋なれどそこにもすまぬひれはみづにごれりとおもほゆるかな
| koi naredo soko ni mo sumanu hire wa mizu nigoreri to omohoyuru kana | This is love, yet The deeps are all disturbed, with Fins the waters Clouding, I feel! |
26
こひわたる程のふかさにそめ川の色あさからじとおもほゆるかな
| koiwataru hodo no fukasa ni somekawa no iro asakaraji to omohoyuru kana | So long have I loved you that The depths of Dyers’ River have Lost their pale hues I feel! |
27
Right
おもふとて夕ぐれがたのながめをや人待つほどの恋といふらん
| omou tote yūguregata no nagame o ya hito matsu hodo no koi to iuran | Thinking of him As evening draws on, and I gaze on long rains falling; is Time pining for a man Being in love, I wonder? |
28
年の内にあまる月日の有りければかぞへのうちにははわぶるかな
| toshi no uchi ni amaru tsuki hi no arikereba kazoe no uchi ni haha waburu kana | Throughout the year The days and months mount up So Counting them My mother grieves! |
29
Left (Win)
心通ふゆききの舟のながめにもさしてかばかり物は思はじ
| kokoro kayou yukiki no fune no nagame ni mo sashite ka bakari mono wa omowaji | Her heart goes out On the back-and-forth of boats That fill her gaze, but Surely her Thoughts will not be as mine… |
Lord Sada’ie
1149
Right
舟のうち浪の上なる浮き寝には立ち帰るとて袖ぞ濡れける
| fune no uchi nami no ue naru ukine ni wa tachikaeru tote sode zo nurekeru | Within a boat, Atop the waves I sleep but briefly and When I am to leave, How soaked are my sleeves… |
Lord Tsune’ie
1150
As the previous round.
In judgement: the use of ‘surely’ (sashite) in the final section of the Left’s poem sounds like it has been deliberately used to evoke a connection with the earlier ‘boat’ (fune). The initial section of the Right’s poem draws, yet again, on Mochitoki’s over-long line. The latter section also sounds like a deliberate use of evocative language, and the final line lacks impact. It is inferior to the Left’s poem.