Tag Archives: nagori

Love VII: 27

Left.
かくこそは長柄の橋も絶えしかど柱ばかりは名殘やはなき

kaku koso wa
nagara no hashi mo
taeshikado
hashira bakari wa
nagori ya wa naki
And so it is that
The bridge at Nagara
Has ceased to be, yet
Are there not even pillars
In remembrance of what’s gone?

Lord Ari’ie
1013

Right (Win).
今も猶長柄の橋は作りてんつれなき戀は跡だにもなし

ima mo nao
nagara no hashi wa
tsukuriten
tsurenaki koi wa
ato dani mo nashi
Even now is
The bridge at Nagara
Being built?
Of this cruel love
Not even a trace remains…

Nobusada
1014

The Right state: it is certainly possible to say that the ‘bridge at Nagara’ has ‘rotted’ (kutsu), but there are, we think, no other examples of it ‘ceasing’ (tayu). The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of saying ‘love not a trace’ (koi ni ato nashi).

In judgement: both poems refer to ‘the bridge at Nagara’ and, as has been mentioned by the Gentlemen of the Right in their criticism, the Left uses ‘has ceased to be, yet’ (taeshikado); there are many poems using ‘rotted’, because this is what happens to the pillars of bridges. After this bridge ceased to be, the pillars would still be rotting away. If you have the bridge ‘being built’ (tsukuru nari), why would you not then have it ‘ceasing’? That being said, I am only accustomed to hearing ‘bridge pillars’ (hashibashira), and having only ‘pillars’ (hashira) sounds completely lacking in logic. The Right’s poem uses ‘love not a trace’ (koi ato nashi): it is entirely natural for a variety of different things not to leave a trace. The current criticism must be due to there not being a prior example of this usage, but it is particularly difficult to say this about the initial section of the poem. The Right wins.

Love II: 30

Left (Win).

忘れじの契を頼む別かな空行く月の末を數へて

wasureji no
chigiri o tanomu
wakare kana
sora yuku tsuki no
sue o kazoete
Not to forget
I promised – trust that
On our parting.
The moon’s transit through the sky
Is the number of our meeting.

A Servant Girl

719

Right.

風吹かば峰に別れん雲をだにありし名殘の形見とも見よ

kaze fukaba
mine ni wakaren
kumo o dani
arishi nagori no
katami to mo miyo
If the wind should blow,
Parting from the peak,
Even the clouds
My memories
Seem to represent!

Ietaka

720

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem is most moving. The Right’s poem, the Gentlemen of the Left state, is fine.

Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem has one counting to the end of the moon’s transits through the sky, while the Right has clouds parting from a mountain peak being the poet’s thoughts given form. Both poems are elegant in configuration and diction, but the Right’s ‘even the clouds’ (kumo ni dani) does not fit with the ending. The Left maintains its connections from beginning to end. Thus, I make it the winner.

Love II: 26

Left.

何か我今朝名残を歎かまし帰る程なく暮るる日ならば

nani ka ware
kesa nagori o
nagekamashi
kaenu hodo naku
kururu hi naraba
Why should I
This morning for my keepsake
Have only grief?
If but a while from leaving
The sun sets once again…

Lord Suetsune

711

Right (Win).

しばしなる今朝の別に見つる哉心がはりの行末の夢

shibashinaru
kesa no wakare ni
mitsuru kana
kokoro gawari no
yukusue no yume
For just a while
At this morning’s parting
Did I see it:
Your change of heart
In a prescient dream…

Lord Nobusada

712

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem is entirely in the conception of a morning after poem. This does not match the conception of this topic. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the sense of the Right’s poem is difficult to grasp. The use of ‘dream’ (yume) does not fit with the remainder of the poem’s contents.

Shunzei’s judgement: in terms of the Left’s poem, the morning after is also a parting. What fault can be found in this? However, the Right’s ‘change of heart in a prescient dream’ sounds charming. Thus, the Right wins.

Summer II: 21

Left (Win).

あづまやの軒にしづくをとゞめをきて程なく晴れぬ夕立の空

azumaya no
noki ni shizuku o
todomeokite
hodo naku harenu
yūdachi no sora
On all four sides
From the eaves droplets
Yet hang;
Quickly clearing is
The evening shower from the sky.

Lord Suetsune.

281

Right.

夕立のほどこそしばしとまりつれなごりも涼しみ山木の陰

yūdachi no
hodo koso shibashi
tomaritsure
nagori mo suzushi
miyamagi no kage
The evening shower’s
Span, but briefly
Would I rest here;
Coolness, a memento
In the shade of mountain trees.

Lord Takanobu.

282

The Right query, ‘The use of “from the eaves droplets” (noki ni shizuku). Surely it should be “on the eaves droplets” (noki no shizuku)?’ The Left respond, ‘These are identical in meaning and have no real difference.’ They then wonder, ‘Whether the Right’s poem has not changed in topic to tree shade?’

Shunzei says simply, ‘Both Left’s latter section, and the Right’s initial section are particularly pedestrian in expression, but the Left’s “From the eaves droplets” is slightly superior.’

Spring I: 11

Left (Tie).

天の原春とも見えぬながめかなこぞのなごりの雪の明ぼの

ama no hara
haru tomo mienu
nagame kana
kozo no nagori no
yuki no akebono
Upon the plain of Heaven
Of Spring there is no sign
In sight:
A memento of the year that’s gone,
Snowfall with the dawning.

Lord Ari’ie

21

Right (Tie).

なごりには春の袂も冴えにけり霞より散る雪のけしきに

nagori ni wa
haru no tamoto mo
saenikeri
kasumi yori chiru
yuki no keshiki ni
The memento
Also upon my springtime sleeves
Stands clear:
Drifting from the haze,
A scene of snow.

Nobusada

22

In this round the Right team have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem, but the Left query beginning a poem with ‘memento’, as the audience then immediately wonder, ‘A memento of what?’

Shunzei comments that the Left’s poem starts extremely well, but that, even though ‘in sight’ (nagame kana) has been frequently used in poetry recently, its spirit has yet to be fully determined, and so including it here must be considered a mistake. Furthermore, the concluding line, ‘snowfall with the dawning’ (yuki no akebono), has also been much used in recent poetry. As for the Right’s poem, he feels it ends extremely well, but echoes the criticism of the Left about the beginning. Thus, the best result for this round is a tie.