Round Six
Left
あきの夜のありあけのつきはくまもなしあさくらやまもなのみこそあらめ
| aki no yo no ariake no tsuki wa kuma mo nashi asakurayama mo na nomi koso arame | At an autumn night’s Dawn, the moon Has not a cloud before it; The Mount of Morning Dark May be so in name alone! |
Cell of Fragrant Cloud
39
Right (Win)
秋の月あかしのうらはなびきもにすむわれからのかずも見つべし
| aki no tsuki akashi no ura wa nabikimo ni sumu warekara no kazu mo mitsubeshi | The autumn moon is Bright above Akashi Bay; Among the trailing seaweed Dwell tiny shrimp, Their number now clear to my eyes. |
Cell of Compassionate Light
40
The poem of the Left is an entirely tedious composition. It simply states that a cloudless autumn moon does not fit with the place name, Mount Asakura. The moon at ‘dawn’ is the same as the moon at ‘dawntime’, while Mount Asakura is used when dawn has completely finished. As for the poem of the Right, while the moon is described as bright, it doesn’t seem right to then make it a poem about trailing seaweed—this does not seem charming at all. This round, too, there’s not much more I can say than that.
As I have already mentioned, ‘moon at dawn’ in the poem of the Left is an expression which it is impossible to say is praiseworthy. Even more so, really, the concluding ‘may be so in name alone’ just says ‘is so in name alone’, doesn’t it? It’s contrary to reason to say that it’s fluent and thus, and I say this reluctantly, it’s difficult to understand. As for the Right’s poem, I don’t understand this either: it ought to be ‘their numbers, too, I have been able to see’—saying ‘their number now clear to my eyes’ implies that you haven’t previously been able to see them up to that point, and it’s vague about when you have. Even so, it’s getting light, so the light of the moon at dawn seems superior.
Round Twelve
Left (Win)
ほのかにてあるかなきかにすぐるみやなみまにまがふあまのいさりび
| honoka nite aru ka naki ka ni suguru mi ya namima ni magau ama no isaribi | Faintly, Uncertain if I’m here or not Do I pass through? Entangled between the waves, A fisherman’s torch. |
Lord Suetsune
123
Right
すみよしのなをたのみこししるしありてかへるみやこにおもひいでもがな
| sumiyoshi no na o tanomikoshi shirushi arite kaeru miyako ni omoi’ide mogana | In Sumiyoshi’s Name did I place my trust— Had it some effect then On returning to the capital Happy memories, I would have! |
Takanobu
124
The Left appears to have pleasant configuration and diction, saying ‘Entangled between the waves, / A fisherman’s torch’. Using ‘faintly’ and then concluding with ‘fisherman’s torch’ is extremely charming, but I do wonder about describing a person’s passage through the world as ‘faint’. The Right sounds elegant in style, but saying, ‘On returning to the capital / Happy memories, I would have!’ could be saying that the memories are of the return to the capital itself, and I don’t feel this matches with the initial part of the poem. In addition, is the conception of wanting the deity’s aid for the return? This sounds rather capricious. The Left has a pleasant configuration, and thus it should win.
Original
さくらばなゆきとふるめりみかさやまいざたちよらむなにかくるやと
| sakurabana yukitourumeri mikasayama iza tachiyoramu nani kakuru ya to | The cherry blossom Seems to pass as falling snow On Mikasa Mountain— Say, let’s shelter ‘neath umbrellas there, Whether they’ll conceal us or not…[1] |
Mitsune
28
Left (Tie)
やまのなにたちしもよらじさくらばなゆきとふるともいろにぬれめや
| yama no na ni tachishi mo yoraji sakurabana yukitouru to mo iro ni nureme ya | Based on the mountain’s name, I would take no shelter from The cherry blossoms, for Even should they pass as falling snow Would their hues wet my sleeves? |
29
Right
かくるれどやまずゆきこそふりかかれみかさのやまははなやもるらん
| kakururedo yamazu yuki koso furikakare mikasa no yama wa hana ya moruran | I have concealed myself, yet Incessantly those snows Do fall; From Mikasa Mountain, will The blossom drip, I wonder? |
30
[1] This poem occurs in Mitsune-shū (328) with the same headnote as that for poem 22 (above). This is a somewhat facetious poem in that Mitsune is punning on the name of the mountain, Mikasa, which could be read to mean ‘honoured umbrella’. Both of the ladies composing this round pick up on his wordplay, with the author of (29) saying that there’s no need to take shelter as blossom will not leave a stain, as snow would, and the author of (30) wondering rhetorically if the blossom would drip from an umbrella as melting snow would.
Round Nine
Left
影きよく月をよこぎるうき雲は秋の名をさへけがしつるかな
| kage kiyoku tsuki yokogiru ukigumo wa aki no na sae kegashitsuru kana | The pure light of The moon crossing go The drifting clouds— The very name of autumn Have they besmirched! |
Arifusa
65
Right (Win)
照る月を浪のうへにてみる時ぞますみのかがみいる心ちする
| teru tsuki o nami no ue nite miru toki zo masumi no kagami iru kokochisuru | The shining moon Rests atop the waves, and When I gaze upon it, Within the clearest of mirrors Does it lie, I feel. |
Narinaka
66
What to make of the sound of the Left’s ‘besmirched the very name of autumn’? The Right does not seem to differ markedly from the conception of ‘Hundredfold Polished Mirror’[1] where it says that the moon ‘atop the waves’ is ‘all apiece with the autumn waters’ deeps’, does it. The Right should win.
[1] This is a reference to a poem by Bai Juyi, Bailianjing 百練鏡, contained in the Collected Works of Master Bai (Hakushi monjū 白氏文集), about a mirror which had been polished a hundred times. Kiyosuke quotes from the poem in his judgement, referring to the following passage: 江心波上舟中鋳 五月五日日午時 瓊粉金膏磨瑩已 化為一片秋潭水 jiangxinbo shang zhou zhong zhu / wu yue wu ri ri wushi / qiong fen jin gao mo ying yi / hua wei yipian qiu tan shui ‘In a boat atop the waves at the heart of the Yangtse / At noon on the 5th day of the Fifth Month / Polished with gemmed powdered seashells in golden oil / ‘Tis transformed and becomes all apiece with the autumn waters’ deeps.’
