Maidenflowers
Left
なびくとや人はみるらんをみなへしおもふかたにぞかぜもふきける
| nabiku to ya hito wa miruran ominaeshi omou kata ni zo kaze mo fukikeru | ‘Are they trailing?’ Folk wonder at the sight of The maidenflowers, and As they thought The wind, too, was blowing… |
7
Right
おほかたののべなるよりはをみなへしねやのつまにてみるはまされり
| ōkata no nobe naru yori wa ominaeshi neya no tsuma nite miru wa masareri | So wide are The plains, but I’d rather A maidenflower— My wife in the bedchamber: Seeing her is better far! |
8
Left.
独のみ寢屋の板間もあはずして雨も涙も所せきまで
| hitori nomi neya no itama mo awazushite ame mo namida mo tokoroseki made |
All alone, and The boards above my bedchamber Fail to come together; Until with raindrops and tears both I am excessively… |
Lord Ari’ie.
943
Right (Win).
深き夜の寢覺に何を思けむ窓打ちてすさむ暁の雨
| fukaki yo no nezame ni nani o omoikemu mado uchisusamu akatsuki no ame |
Late within the night, I start awake; what Was in my thoughts? Beating against my window is The dawntime rain. |
Jakuren.
944
The Right state: we cannot grasp the sense of the Left’s use of ‘until’ (made). The Left state: the Right’s poem is certainly not easy to understand on hearing.
In judgement: is not the use of ‘until’ (made) simply because it is appropriate to conclude a poem with that syllable? I can see nothing problematic with the use of ‘beating against my window’ (mado uchisusamu) in the Right’s poem. Thus, I make the Right the winner.
Left (Tie).
我戀や晴れゆくままの空の雲よそにのみして消ぬべき哉
| wa ga koi ya hareyuku mama no sora no kumo yoso ni nomi shite kienubeki kana |
Is my love As the clearing Clouds with within the skies? While you remain distant Must I fade away… |
Lord Ari’ie.
921
Right.
をのづから閨もる月も影消えてひとりかなしき浮雲の空
| onozukara neya moru tsuki mo kage kiete hitori kanashiki ukigumo no sora |
From my Bedchamber the flooding moon Light has vanish; To be alone is sad, as The heartless drifting, clouds. |
Lord Takanobu.
922
The Right state: the central line of the Left’s poem is stiff. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults.
In judgement: the statements in regard to both poems are at variance with my own opinion. I will refrain from expressing that here, although I do regret that, somewhat. If, indeed, a central line is core, then it is better for it to lack connection with the remainder of the poem. In the case of the Left’s poem, however, it seems well linked with what follows. As for the Right’s poem, ‘bedchamber the flooding moon’ (neya moru tsuki) is not phrasing which is acceptable to me. However, the Left’s initial section seems pleasant, and the Right’s final section is elegant. Thus, the round is a tie.
Left (Win).
洩らすなよ雲ゐる嶺の初時雨木の葉は下に色變るとも
| morasunayo kumoiru mine no hatsu shigure ko no ha wa shita ni iro kawarutomo |
O, let it not leak out! Though the cloud-capped peaks’ First shower of rain, On the leaves’ underside Has left a change of hue… |
613
Right.
閨のうちは涙の雨に朽ち果てゝしのぶは茂る妻にぞ有ける
| neya no uchi wa namida no ame ni kuchihatete shinobu wa shigeru tsuma ni zo arikeru |
Within my bedchamber A rain of tears Has rotted all, so The weeping ferns secretly grow thick Around the edges… |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
614
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no defects worth criticising. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the initial and final sections of the Right’s poem lack connection with each other. Does the poem have a conception of hiddenness?
Shunzei’s judgement: The conception and configuration of the Left’s ‘cloud-capped peaks’ first shower of rain’ (kumoiru mine no hatsu shigure) seems charming [kokoro sugata okashiku mie]. On that basis, it should win.
Left.
引きかくる閨の衾の隔てにも響きは變る鐘の音かな
| hikikakuru neya no fusuma no hedate ni mo hibiki wa kawaru kane no oto kana |
Drawn up beneath The covers in my bedchamber, and With them between The echo is somehow different When the bells chime… |
587
Right (Win).
雪の夜の思ふばかりも冴えぬこそ閨の衾のしるしなりけれ
| yuki no yo no omou bakari mo saenu koso neya no fusuma no shirushi narikere |
It is a snowy night I know, yet There is no chill: The covers in my bedchamber Have that effect! |
588
The Gentlemen of the Right state: why have the ‘bell’ (kane) here? The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem, having the poet buried beneath his bedclothes, which alter the sound of the bell recollects a composition on the ‘bell at the Temple of Bequeathed Love’. Nevertheless, the Gentlemen of the Right have asked, ‘Why have the bell here?’, and they are right to do so. The Right’s poem, on how the feeling of cold on a chill, snowy night vanishes briefly, exactly conveys the ‘bedding’s effect’ (fusuma no shirushi). Thus, it is without fault. I must make the Right the winner.