Tag Archives: night

Love VI: 6

Left (Win).
袖のうへになるるも人の形見かは我と宿せる秋の夜の月

sode no ue ni
naruru mo hito no
katami ka wa
ware to yadoseru
aki no yo no tsuki
Resting atop my sleeves
Of my love so fond
Are these keepsakes?
Remaining with me, alone
Is the moon this autumn night…

A Servant Girl.
911

Right.
ひとり住む宿の気色とあはれとや憂き身とゝもに在明の月

hitori sumu
yado no keshiki to
aware to ya
ukimi to tomo ni
ariake no tsuki
Living alone,
Is the sight of my home
So pitiful?
Alike are we in desolation,
O, dawntime moon!

Lord Tsune’ie.
912

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks a clear conception of love.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, indeed, has no faults. It should win.

Love VI: 2

Left.
いかでなを戀しき人を山の端に待ち出で見る月と思はん

ikade nao
koshiki hito o
yama no ha ni
machi’ide miru
tsuki to omowan
Somehow
Awaiting the one I love is
From the mountains’ edge
Awaiting a glimpse
Of the emerging moon, I feel…

Lord Kanemune.
903

Right (Win).
雨降れとわびてもいかが秋の夜の月ゆへならで人を待べき

ame fure to
wabite mo ikaga
aki no yo no
tsuki yue narade
hito o matsubeki
Let the rain fall!
For what is my sorrow?
On this autumn night
If there were no moon
Would I await his coming?

Jakuren.
904

The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks any deep meaning. The Left state: we find no faults to mention.

In judgement: this round I will leave comment to the Gentlemen of both teams, and so make the Right the winner.

Love V: 29

Left (Tie).
象潟や妹戀ひしらにさ寢る夜の磯の寢覺に月傾きぬ

kisakata ya
koishirani
sanuru yo no
iso no nezame ni
tsuki katabukinu
In Kisakata and
In love;
I sleep the night away, and
Awaking on the rocky shore
Behold the moon descending.

Kenshō
897

Right.
清見潟岩敷く袖の浪の上に思ふもわびし君が面影

kiyomigata
iwa shiku sode no
nami no ue ni
omou mo wabishi
kimi ga omokage
At Kiyomigata
Sleeves spread atop the rocks,
Waves breaking atop them;
Heart filled with pain
At the memory of your face…

Jakuren
898

Left and Right both state that the opposing poem is pretentious.

In judgement: the Left’s poem seems well-constructed in its initial and final sections. However, as in Mototoshi’s poem long ago, ‘breaking a stem of miscanthus on the beach at Ise’, this seems to be a case of poetic allusion. The Right’s ‘Sleeves spread atop the rocks, waves breaking atop them’ (iwa shiku sode no nami no ue) seems to have been newly composed and seems elegant, but the final section is somewhat inferior. The Left has beginning and end matching. The Right has a superior initial section, but an inferior final one. Thus, the round ties.