Tag Archives: noki

GSIS XIII: 737

There was a man who had been secretly conversing with a woman who had a husband. When their relationship cooled, seeing that he had little time for her, the woman sent this to him.

我宿の軒のしのぶにことよせてやがても茂るわすれ草かな

wa ga yado no
noki no sinobu ni
koto yosete
yagate mo sigeru
wasuregusa kana
At my dwelling
Ferns grow beneath the eaves
Is your excuse;
And in the end all that grows lush is
The grass of your forgetfulness!

Anonymous

Love VI: 24

Left (Win).
深き夜の軒の雫をかぞへても猶あまりぬる袖の雨哉

fukaki yo no
noki no shizuku o
kazoetemo
nao amari nuru
sode no ame kana
Late at night,
From my eaves the droplets
I number up, but
Still much more drenching
Is the rainfall on my sleeves.

A Servant Girl.
947

Right.
雲とづる宿の軒端の夕ながめ戀よりあまる雨の音哉

kumo tozuru
yado no nokiba no
yū nagame
koi yori amaru
ame no oto kana
Closed in with cloud,
From my dwelling’s eaves
I gaze out in the evening;
Overwhelming my love
Is the sound of rain…

Nobusada.
948

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: we do not understand the Right’s poem at all.

In judgement: the Left’s poem commences with ‘late at night’ (fukaki yo no) and then continues with mention of raindrops – this sounds extremely effective. The Right’s poem, too, starts ‘closed in with cloud’ (kumo tozuru) and concludes with ‘the sound of rain’ (ame no oto kana), which sounds charming, but because the poem is said to be ‘incomprehensible’ or ‘grating on the ear’, despite being one with both a significant conception and an unusual sound, there is no reason for me to shoehorn in my own views, even if much has been overlooked, so this round I will leave it at, the Right is entirely incomprehensible and the Left without fault. Thus, the Left wins.

Winter II: 3

Left (Win).

訪へかしな庭の白雪跡絶えてあはれも深き冬の朝を

toekashi na
niwa no shirayuki
ato taete
aware mo fukaki
fuyu no ashita o
I would go a’calling;
In my garden the white snowfall
Has covered all the tracks;
How deep is my sorrow,
On this winter morning!

Lord Kanemune.

545

Right.

軒のうち雀の聲は馴るれども人こそ知らぬ今朝の白雪

noki no uchi ni
suzume no koe wa
naruredomo
hito koso shiranu
kesa no shirayuki
From underneath the eaves
To the sparrows’ chirps
Have I grown accustomed, yet
No one noticed
This morning’s fall of snow so white…

Nobusada.

545

The Right state that the Left’s initial line makes their poemsound like a reply. In addition, the final line is ‘overly forceful’ [itau tsuyoku]. The Left merely comment that the Right’s use of ‘sparrow’ (suzume) is ‘inappropriate’.

Shunzei’s judgement: Even though the Left’s poem is not a reply, starting with ‘I would go a’calling’ (toekashi na) is common in the reply style [zōtōtei]. In addition, ‘Winter Mornings’ is not a topic which one needs to approach obliquely. There are only the good and bad points of the poetry. ‘From underneath the eaves to the sparrows’ chirps have I grown accustomed’ (noki no uchi ni suzume no koe wa naruru) is not an expression much used about morning snow. However, the final section of the poem appears fine. ‘Sparrows’ chirps’ (suzume no koe) is, perhaps, somewhat colloquial [zoku no chikaku]. Despite the comment by the gentlemen of the Right that the final section of the Left’s poem is ‘overly forceful’, it is a better ‘Winter Morning’ poem.

Autumn III: 5

Left.

蘆の屋の蔦這ふ軒の村時雨音こそ立てね色は隱れず

ashi no ya no
tsuta hau noki no
murashigure
oto koso tatene
iro wa kakurezu
My roof of reeds,
Ivy twining on the eaves, is struck
By a soft shower
Sound is there none, but
The hues cannot hide…

Lord Sada’ie.

429

Right.

今朝見れば蔦這う軒に時雨して忍のみこそ青葉也けり

kesa mireba
tsuta hau noki ni
shigureshite
shinobu nomi koso
aoba narikeri
When I looked this morning,
The ivy twining on the eaves
Was struck by a shower;
Only the ferns remember
To remain green-leaved.

Lord Takanobu.

430

Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem, and say as much.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are concern ‘a shower falling on ivy-clad eaves’, with the Left mentioning no sound from a ‘roof of reeds’ and the Right the different hues of ‘fern-remembered eaves’ (shinobu no noki). Thus, there is not much between them. I make them the same quality.

Autumn II: 4

Left.

古の人を聞くにも秋の夜の窓打つ雨はさびしかりけり

inishie no
hito o kiku ni mo
aki no yo no
mado utsu ame wa
sabishikarikeri
Long ago
The ladies, I hear,
On autumn nights
With rain beating ‘gainst the window
Were lonely, as am I…

Lord Kanemune.

367

Right.

軒近き松の風だにある物を窓打ち添ふる秋の村雨

noki chikaki
matsu no kaze dani
aru mono o
mado uchisouru
aki no murasame
Close by my eaves,
Waiting, with the wind through the pines,
Striking,
The window, beaten by
Autumn showers.

Ietaka.

368

The Right complain, ‘In the Left’s poem, the poet seems to hear of the appearance of “long ago ladies”, but what is it that he hears – one would usually expect more, would one not?’ The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei broadly agrees: ‘The Left’s poem, in saying “ladies, I hear” would certainly seem to be recollecting the concubines at the court of Xuanzong, but I wonder if this is clearly enough expressed in the poem? The Right’s final section “The window, beaten by Autumn showers” (mado uchisouru aki no murasame) sounds particularly fine. Thus, the Right wins.’

Summer II: 22

Left (Win).

夕立の雲の水脈より伝ひきて軒端に落つる瀧の白玉

yūdachi no
kumo no mio yori
tsutaikite
nokiba ni otsuru
taki no shiratama
An evening shower:
The clouds form channels
Trailing onto
My eaves’ edge and dropping
A cataract of silver droplets.

Lord Ari’ie.

283

Right.

鳴神の空かきくらす夕立にかゝらぬ里もありとこそ聞け

narukami no
sora kakikurasu
yūdachi ni
kakaranu sato mo
ari to koso kike
Thunder
Darkens the sky;
This evening shower:
A dwelling where it falls not
There is, I’ve heard…

Lord Tsune’ie.

284

The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem, while the Left merely wonder, ‘Where is the dwelling where the shower “falls not”?’

Shunzei: ‘“The eaves’ edge and dropping a cataract of silver droplets” is particularly well-formed. It must win.’