ima wa tote sugiyuku aki no katami ni wa kaze no okure ni momiji o ya min Might now be when Departing autumn’s Keepsake is Presented on the breeze: A glimpse of scarlet leaves?
aki nagara toshi wa kurenan momijiba o nusa to chiraseru yama no mine yori It’s autumn, so The year has reached its dusk; Scarlet leaves for A garland are made to scatter From the mountain peaks…
shiguretsutsu kusaba mo nabete momizu to mo tokiwa no yama ni aki wa tomareri Ever falls the drizzling rain, and Both leaves and grasses, all, Take on autumn hues, yet Within the evergreen mountains Autumn has halted.
oshimedomo aki wa tomaranu tatsutayama momiji o nusa to sora ni tamuken How I regret it, yet Autumn does not linger upon Tatsuta Mountain: Its autumn leaves as a garland To the skies it seems to offer.
tatsutayama aki o mina heshi sugusaneba okuru nusa koso momiji narikere On Tatsuta Mountain Autumn for all has Not yet passed by, so Proffered are garlands of Scarlet leaves.
akigiri o mina heshi nabiku fuku kaze o kono hitomoto ni hana wa chirurashi The autumn mists Have borne down on all With the gusting wind A single stalk of Blooms seems to scatter…
kari ga ne ni odoroku aki no yo o samumi mushi no oridasu koromo o zo kiru The goose cries are Startling on an autumn Night so chill The insects’ woven Robes I will put on!
akikaze wa ta ga tamuke to ka momijiba o nusa ni kiritsutsu fukichirasuran The autumn wind: To whom does it make its offering Of scarlet leaves? Ever cutting them to streamers, and Seeming to scatter them with its gusts…
 Fubokushō XII: 4881
yo ni wabite nami tachimachi ni sugu naredo aso no mi’ike ni nusa tatematsuru All the world’s troubles In sudden waves Arise, yet At the fair pond of Aso Will I make an offering…
tanomu naru asake kami shimo nusa wa sen kimi ga kokoro ya ware ni nabiku to Worship she does The goddess Asake, so should even I make her an offering? Then might my lady’s heart Trail in my direction…
kagamiyama kimi ni kokoro ya utsururamu isogi tatarenu tabigoromo kana Upon Mirror Mount Has my heart Found lodging? For In haste to rise and don My travelling garb, I am not!
Lord Tsune’ie 1154
Left and Right state: there are no faults to mention in either poem.
In judgement: both Left and Right here refer to a ‘person’ (kimi), with the Left’s ‘making her an offering’ (nusa wa sen) that she might ‘trail in my direction’ (ware ni nabiku ya), while the Right’s has left his heart on Mirror Mount and ‘is not in haste to rise and don his travelling garb’ (isogi tatarenu tabigoromo): each of these poems is evocative, and makes effective use of wordplay, with the Left’s ‘make her an offering’ certainly resembling something I have come across previously, but the initial ‘goddess Asake’ is poor. The Right’s ‘Mirror Mount’ (kagami yama) is something I am familiar with, and this has a gentle tone. Thus, the Right wins.