Tag Archives: offering

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 13

Round Thirteen

Left

すみよしのあまくだりますまつのうへにそらよりかくる月のしらゆふ

sumiyoshi no
amakudarimasu
matsu no ue ni
sora yori kakuru
tsuki no shirayū
At Sumiyoshi
Did the Deity descend from Heaven
To the pines—upon them
From the skies are hung
The moon’s sacred streamers.

Kamo no Agatanushi Masahira
Kataoka Junior Assistant Priest[1]
25

Right (Win)

しめのうちにしらゆふかけぬひまぞなき月もたむけのこころありけり

shime no uchi ni
shirayū kakenu
hima zo naki
tsuki mo tamuke no
kokoro arikeri
Within the holy precints
Sacred streamers fail to hang
In not a single spot—
The moon to make an offering
Is of a mind.

Lord Fujiwara no Chikashige
Junior Fifth Rank, Upper Grade,
Without Office[2]
26

While the poem of the Left’s ‘From the skies are hung’ and so forth seems charming, I do wonder about the idea of the ‘Deity descending from Heaven / To the pines’—it’s vague. The poem of the Right’s conception and configuration of ‘The moon to make an offering’ appears pleasant, and thus it wins.


[1] Kataoka negi jūyon’ijō Kamo agatanushi Masahira 片岡禰宜従四位上賀茂県主政平

[2] San’i jūgoijō Fujiwara ason Chikashige 散位従五位上藤原朝臣親重

Love X: 7

Left
頼むなるあさけ神しも幣はせん君が心やわれになびくと

tanomu naru
asake kami shimo
nusa wa sen
kimi ga kokoro ya
ware ni nabiku to
Worship she does
The goddess Asake, so should even
I make her an offering?
Then might my lady’s heart
Trail in my direction…

Kenshō
1153

Right (Win)
鏡山君に心やうつるらむいそぎ立たれぬ旅衣かな

kagamiyama
kimi ni kokoro ya
utsururamu
isogi tatarenu
tabigoromo kana
Upon Mirror Mount
Has my heart
Found lodging? For
In haste to rise and don
My travelling garb, I am not!

Lord Tsune’ie
1154

Left and Right state: there are no faults to mention in either poem.

In judgement: both Left and Right here refer to a ‘person’ (kimi), with the Left’s ‘making her an offering’ (nusa wa sen) that she might ‘trail in my direction’ (ware ni nabiku ya), while the Right’s has left his heart on Mirror Mount and ‘is not in haste to rise and don his travelling garb’ (isogi tatarenu tabigoromo): each of these poems is evocative, and makes effective use of wordplay, with the Left’s ‘make her an offering’ certainly resembling something I have come across previously, but the initial ‘goddess Asake’ is poor. The Right’s ‘Mirror Mount’ (kagami yama) is something I am familiar with, and this has a gentle tone. Thus, the Right wins.