Stags and the Dawn
Round Five
Left
暁になりやしぬらん小倉山なく鹿のねに月かたぶきぬ
akatsuki ni nari ya shinuran ogurayama naku shika no ne ni tsuki katabukinu Is the dawning
Mototoshi, Former Assistant Captain in the Palace Guards, Left Division
Right
暁や声高砂になく鹿をほのかにやきく沖の舟人
akatsuki ya koe takasago ni naku shika o honoka ni ya kiku oki no funabito At the dawning
Head
The Left’s poem lacks any superlative diction, yet does not appear to have any glaring faults either. As for the Right’s poem, I do question the placement of ‘at’ in ‘at the dawning’ and, in addition, the order seems reversed in ‘From the heights, the bell, at Takasago / Of a stag’—so much so that I find it difficult to grasp the sense. If the poem had been composed to put ‘stag’ before ‘heights of Takasago’, the poem would feel more trustworthy, wouldn’t it.
夕されば霧たちくらしをぐら山やまのとかげに鹿ぞ鳴くなる
yū sareba kiri tachikurashi ogurayama yama no tokage ni shika zo nakunaru When the evening comes, and
As a stag poem.
妻こふる鹿ぞなくなる小倉山やまの夕霧たちにけむかも
tsuma kouru shika zo nakunaru ogurayama yama no yūgiri tachinkemu kamo Loving his mate
Round Ten
Left
をぐらやま下ゆく水のさざれ石も数かくれなくてらす月かげ
ogurayama shita yuku mizu no sazare’ishi mo kazu kakurenaku terasu tsukikage Beneath gloomy Mount Ogura
Lord Kiyosuke
Right (Win)
あまの川とわたる月の影すみてにごれるよともみえぬ空かな
ama no kawa towataru tsuki no kage sumite nigoreru yo tomo mienu sora kana Across the River of Heaven’s
Shinkaku
There’s nothing to mention about the Left, and the same is the case for the Right, but for some reason should it win?
Round Twenty-One
Left (Win)
小倉山木木のもみぢのくれなゐはみねの嵐のおろすなりけり
ogurayama kigi no momiji no kurenai wa mine no arashi no orosu narikeri On gloomy Mount Ogura
Lord Kiyosuke
Right
fukaku asaki momijiba nagaru asukagawa fuchise wa iro ni arawarenikeri Across both depths and shallows
Shun’e
Neither of these is bad. The Right violates the five syllable pattern; the Left has no faults.
Composed for the Poetry Match held at the Residence of Imperial Princess Sukeko (5/6/Eishō 5 kōshin [26.6.1050]).
をぐら山たちどもみえぬゆふぎりにつままどはせるしかぞなくなる
wogurayama On gloomy Ogura Mountain
Gō no jijū
Created with Soan .
Putting the syllables of ‘maidenflower’ (ominaFesi ) at the beginning of each line.
をぐら山みね立ちならしなくしかのへにける秋をしる人ぞなき
wo gurayamami ne tatinarasina ku sika noFe nikeru aki wosi ru Fito zo nakiOgura Mountain’s
Tsurayuki
On autumn mornings, kōshin Fourth Month, Kenpo 5.
をぐら山しぐるるころのあさなあさな昨日はうすき四方のもみぢば
ogurayama On gloomy Ogura Mountain
Former Middle Counsellor Sada’ie
Created with Soan .
Left
くれぬべきあきををしめばをぐら山みねのもみぢもいろづきにけり
kurenubeki aki o oshimeba ogurayama mine no momiji mo irozukinikeri Pass into dusk must
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Right
をしめども秋はとまらず女郎花野べにおくれてかれぬばかりを
oshimedomo aki wa tomarazu ominaeshi nobe ni okurete karenu bakari o I regret it, yet
34
を とこやまみ ねふみわけてな くしかはへ じとやおもふし ひてあきには
o tokoyama mi ne fumiwakete na ku shika wa he ji to ya omou shi ite aki ni wa Upon Otoko Mountain’s
41
を ぐらやまみ ねのもみぢばな にをいとにへ てかおりけむし るやしらずや
o gurayama mi ne no momijiba na ni o ito ni he te ka orikemu shi ru ya shirazu ya On Ogura Mountain’s
42
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'Simply moving and elegant'
