Round Eleven

Left

さごろもの袂はせばしかづけども時雨の雨は心してふれ

sagoromo no tamoto wa sebashi kazukedomo shigure no ame wa kokoroshite fure

My night robe’s Sleeves are narrow: I cover myself, yet, O rain shower, Fall with care!

Lord Toshitaka
21

Right (Both Judges – Win)

はつ時雨音信しより水ぐきの岡の梢の色をしぞ思ふ

hatsushigure otozureshi yori mizuguki no oka no kozue no iro o shi zo omou

Since the first shower Came to call, Mizuguki Hill’s treetops’ Hues fill my thoughts…

Lord Tokimasa
22

Toshiyori states: the poem on night robes has ‘Fall with care!’ – is this expressing regret over getting wet? In addition, there’s ‘I cover myself, yet’: it would have been preferable to have this element first. The poem on the ‘first shower’ is not that remarkable, yet it does sound smooth. ‘Hues fill my thoughts’ feels conspicuously old-fashioned, and yet composing using ‘Mizuguki’ seem superior.

Mototoshi states: what on earth is the poet doing saying his ‘night robe’ is ‘narrow’? In the Code of the Shijō Major Counsellor this is indicted to be a bad thing—‘a shallow poem with weighty words’! The poem of the Right has ‘Since the first shower / Came to call’ and I feel that this is how a poem on showers ought to be. Saying ‘Hill’s treetops’ / Hues fill my thoughts’ is a bit trite, but still charming, so this is superior, isn’t it.