iwanuma no shitahau ashi no ne o shigemi himanaki koi o kimi shirurame ya
Silently beneath the marsh rocks Creep the reeds’ Roots in such profusion, Not a space free from love, but Does my lady know, I wonder?
A Court Lady 53
Right
身をつみて思ひや知るとこころみにながためつらき人もあらなん
mi o tsumite omoi ya shiru to kokoromi ni na ga tame tsuraki hito mo aranan
Pinching flesh, Would you know passion’s fire? To test it, I wish For you there was a cruel One, too…
Lord Masakane 54
Toshiyori states: the first poem is extremely charming. It seems to have no faults to mention. In the second poem, ‘For you there was a cruel one’ would be something quite impolite if said by a woman. Court ladies may lose their composure, yet they still appear to speak with dignity. In the absence of a prior poem as precedent, the first poem should win, I think.
Mototoshi states: this poem seems to have no faults to mention, and of the two, ‘beneath creep the reeds’ seems a bit more gently refined at present.
akugaruru tama to miekemu natsumushi no omoi wa ima zo omoishirinuru
As my wandering Soul do appear The fireflies— Those feelings, now, How well I know!
Kojijū 107
Right (Win)
いはずともおもひはそらにしりぬらむあまくだりますすみよしのかみ
iwazu tomo omoi wa sora ni shirinuramu amakudarimasu sumiyoshi no kami
Needless to say My feelings within the skies Are well-known by The heaven-descended God of Sumiyoshi!
Lord Sanemori 108
The poem of the Left appears to have a deep conception. However, this poem should be composed about the emotions expressed in Izumi Shikibu’s poem ‘Fireflies by the marsh: / From my breast’.[1] If so, then by having something like ‘As my wandering / Soul the fireflies / Do appear’, it appears as if you know how Izumi Shikibu felt. Here, though, we have ‘As my wandering / Soul do appear / The fireflies’ and this sounds as if you know how the fireflies feel—in which case it seems more in keeping with the poem by the Katsura Princess which says, ‘Their bodies bringing an excess / Of passion’s fires’.[2] Then again, does the diction, ‘As my wandering / Soul do appear’, perhaps, differ from this? The poem of the Right has nothing particularly evocative in its use of diction, but ‘My feelings within the skies’ and following this with ‘The heaven-descended’ at least sounds as if has a purpose to it. The Right wins, I should say.
[1] When she had been forgotten by a man, she went to Kibune, and composed this on seeing fireflies flitting about by the Mitarashi River. 物思へば澤の螢も我身よりあくがれ出づる玉かとぞみる mono’omoeba / sawa no hotaru mo / wa ga mi yori / akugare izuru / tama ka to zo miru ‘I’m at such a loss; / Fireflies by the marsh: / From my breast / Wanders out / My soul, or so it seems.’ Izumi Shikibu (GSIS XX: 1162)
[2] When Princess Katsura had said ‘Catch some fireflies,’ and one of the boys had them wrapped up in the sleeves of his jacket. つつめどもかくれぬ物は夏虫の身よりあまれる思ひなりけり tsutsumedomo / kakurenu mono wa / natsumushi no / mi yori amareru / omoinarikeri ‘Wrapped up, yet / Unconcealable are / The summer insects: / Their bodies bringing an excess / Of passion’s fires.’ Anonymous (GSS IV: 209)
koishinan inochi o tare ni yuzuri’okite tsurenaki hito no hate o misemashi
Likely dying of love, My life, to whom should I Consign? That cruel girl’s Ending—would that show it to her?
Shun’e
51
Right (Win)
つれもなき人はおもひもすてられでうき身のみこそなげまほしけれ
tsure mo naki hito wa omoi mo suterarede ukimi no mi koso nagemahoshikere
So cruel is That girl, but my passion for her I cannot abandon; It is my pitiful self that I would wish to throw away!
Kenshō
52
The Left isn’t bad, but it’s a bit cliched. As for the Right, having both ‘abandon’ and ‘throw away’ could be a fault and yet the conception of one ‘abandoning passion’ is different. Whichever way you look at it, it wins.
ikade ka wa ama tsu sora ni mo kasumubeki kokoro no uchi ni harenu omoi o
How is it that Even the heights of heaven’s skies Should be covered o’er with the haze Within my heart is The constant cloud of my passionate thoughts.
