hototogisu hanatachibana ni yadoru to mo nanorazariseba ikade shiramashi
The cuckoo Among the orange blossom May make his lodging, but If he fails to announce himself How would one ever know?
Controller’s Graduate 23
Right
さよなかにみふねの山のほととぎすほのかになきてすぎぬなるかな
sayo naka ni mifune no yama no hototogisu honoka ni nakite suginu naru kana
In the midst of a night so brief Upon Mifune Mountain, A cuckoo, Faintly crying, Has passed his time!
Kerin’in Graduate 24
It is entirely impossible to decide between these two poems.
Neither of these poems is particularly bad. The Left flows smoothly and is elegant; the Right starts with ‘Mifune Mountain’ and then continues with ‘faintly’, which certainly does not lack skill. Thus, I would say that these should tie, although this will doubtless be a source of some dissatisfaction to the writer of the Right.
hototogisu yama yori ochi no satobito wa matade ya yowa no hatsune kikuran
O, cuckoo, Far from the mountains, Will villagers Without waiting, at midnight Ever hear your first cry?
Chikanari 45
Right
うちしめる花橘の五月雨に軒もる夜半のほととぎすかな
uchishimeru hanatachibana no samidare ni noki moru yowa no hototogisu kana
When utterly drenched is The orange blossom by The summer showers. Dripping from the eaves at midnight is A cuckoo’s call!
Ie’kiyo 46
The Right’s poem has ‘Dripping from the eaves at midnight is a cuckoo’s call!’—this sounds like it conveys the conception, but yet is stylistically unclear. The Left’s poem takes up the conception of ‘On the leg-wearying / Mountains’ far side / Folk dwell—I wonder / Do they not have to wait for the autumn / Moon to fill their gaze?’,[1] doesn’t it? Neither has any real point worth making, so they tie.
[1] This poem is: Topic unknown. あしびきの山のあなたにすむ人はまたでや秋の月をみるらんashihiki no / yama no anata ni / sumu hito wa / matade ya aki no / tsuki o miruran Former Emperor Sanjō (SKKS IV: 382).
shigaraki no toyama no sue no hototogisu ta ga sato chikaki hatsune naruran
In Shigaraki At the foothills’ end A cuckoo By whose estate Might let out his first cry?
Takasuke 41
Right
橘のにほひを空に尋ねきて山時鳥なかぬ日ぞなき
tachibana no nioi o sora ni tazunekite yamahototogisu nakanu hi zo naki
Orange blossom’s familiar Scent within the skies I seek out, while The mountain cuckoo Fails to sing on not a single day…
Shimotsuke 42
The Left poem’s ‘near whose estate does it first call’ does not sound bad. The Right’s poem, too, seems to have no faults to mention, yet the Left still wins by a hair.
inishie o shinobu to nashi ni furusato no yūbe no ame ni niou tachibana
Bygone days I do not recall, but At an ancient estate In the evening rain Comes the scent of orange blossom.[i]
[i] This poem functions as a reply to: Topic unknown. さつきまつ花橘のかをかげば昔の人の袖のかぞする satsuki matsu / hana tachibana no / ka o kageba / mukashi no hito no / sode no ka zo suru ‘Awaiting the Fifth Month / The orange blossoms’ / Scent fills the air, and / Folk from long ago / With their perfumed sleeves come back to me.’ Anonymous (KKS III: 139).
