Round Thirty-Six
Left
秋をおもふ涙やもろき夕月夜木葉がくれに鹿ぞ鳴くなる
aki o omou namida ya moroki yūzukuyo ko no hagakure ni shika zo nakunaru Filled with autumn feelings
Dōchin
Right (Win)
を山田に風の吹きしくいなむしろよなよな鹿のふしどなりけり
oyamada ni kaze no fukishiku inamushiro yonayona shika no fushidonarikeri Across the mountain paddies
Dharma Master Nyokan
The Left’s poem does not appear to have any faults worth indicating, yet the Right’s poem is still more pleasant. It should win.
Winter
Left
冬くれば紅葉ふりしく神無月佐保の山辺はむべもりぬらん
fuyu kureba momiji furishiku kaminazuki saho no yamabe wa mube morinuran When the winter comes,
19
冬ごもりかれてみゆらん梅がえは今はた花の春はにほはん
fuyugomori karete miyuran ume ga e wa ima hata hana no haru wa niowan Sealed in winter, and
20
冬みれば水もまかせぬ小山田にいつすき返し種をまきけん
fuyu mireba mizu mo makasenu oyamada ni itsu sukikaeshi tane o makiken ‘Tis winter, I see, so
21
Right
時雨降る宿にすまへば冬の夜に錦とみゆる木木の花かな
shigure furu yado ni sumaeba fuyu no yo ni nishiki to miyuru kigi no hana kana Showers fall
22
ゆふだすき神の社にかけつればしもし降るにもたのもしきかな
yūdasuki kami no yashiro ni kaketsureba shimo shi furu ni mo tanomashiki kana Sacred mulberry cords
23
白雲のふたへふりしくときは山うらはへとしはみどりなりけれ
shiragumo no futae furishiku tokiwa yama ura hae toshi wa midori narikere Clouds of white
24
Left.
au koto wa
Can a meeting, like
Kenshō
Right (Win).
koromode wa
My sleeves as
Lord Tsune’ie .
The Right state: we are unfamiliar with the expression ‘Oyamada Barrier’ (oyamada no seki ). The Left state: it sounds as if it is tears that are ceaseless at the Barrier at Kiyomi.
In judgement: the Left’s poem is stylistically tasteful, but with only ‘can a meeting, like the waters round the rice seedlings’ (au koto wa nawashiro mizu ) the conception of love is weak is it not? The Right’s poem metaphorically has tears ceaseless at the Barrier at Kiyomi, and with the ta present, I accept the Left’s point to a certain extent, but this type of thing is not unusual in metaphorical poems. In addition, there is little reason to imagine the waters round the rice-seedlings being blocked. As it has a stronger focus on Love, the Right wins.
逢ふことを苗代水にまかせてはこさんこさじは小山田のせき
aFu koto wo
Our meeting
Anonymous
'Simply moving and elegant'
