Tag Archives: paths of love

Love X: 19

Left (Win)
恋路には風やはさそふ朝夕に谷の柴舟行帰れども

koiji ni wa
kaze ya wa sasou
asa yū ni
tani no shibabune
yukikaeredomo
Along the path of love
Does the wind beckon me?
Morning and evening
Along the valley boats of brushwood
Go back and forth, yet…

A Servant Girl
1177

Right
真柴こる賤にもあらぬ身なれども恋ゆへわれも歎きをぞ積む

mashiba koru
shizu ni mo aranu
mi naredomo
koi yue ware mo
nageki o zo tsumu
Cutting kindling as
A mountain man is not
My lot, yet
For love do I
Stack up my grief in logs!

The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1178

Left and Right together state: there is no reason to make any criticisms here.

In judgement: although ‘beckon’ (sasou) in the Left’s poem should be ‘send’ (okuru), it is certainly elegant how it evokes thoughts of Captain Cheng travelling along the valley. The Right, beginning with ‘kindling’ (mashiba) and then having ‘grief in logs’ (nageki) sounds a little too similar, I think. The Left should win.