Tag Archives: peak

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 23

Round Eleven

Left

さをしかの空にあはれときこゆるは山のたかねになけばなりけり

saoshika no
sora ni aware to
kikoyuru wa
yama no takane ni
nakeba narikeri
A stag belling
To the skies, sadly
I hear—
Perhaps, because ‘tis on the mountain’s peak
He cries so…

Lord Masahira

45

Right (Win)

ゆふまぐれ霧のまがきのさびしさにをしか鳴くなり秋の山里

yūmagure
kiri no magaki no
sabishisa ni
oshika nakunari
aki no yamazato
Tangled in twilight
With mist around my brushwood fence,
Loneliness fills me, as
A stag bells, by
A mountain retreat in autumn

Shinkaku
46

What on earth is the conception of ‘sadly hearing something in the skies’? While no one can truly know why a stag bells, what is the point of saying that ‘sadness is in the skies’? And if one does hear it, it isn’t the case that anyone really knows that the stag is belling out of longing for his mate, is it. The stag seeming to bell by a brushwood fence in the mist, seems to sound a bit more moving at the moment.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 22

Round Ten

Left (Tie)

夜もすがら妻こふるまにさをしかのめさへあはでや鳴きあかすらん

yomosugara
tsuma kouru ma ni
saoshika no
me sae awade ya
naki’akasuran
All night long,
Yearning for his mate,
Does the stag
Fail to close his eyes,
Belling until the dawn?

Mikawa
43

Right

独のみみねのをしかのなくこゑにあはれ吹きそふ風の音かな

hitori nomi
mine no oshika no
naku koe ni
aware fukisou
kaze no oto kana
A single, solitary,
Stag from the peak
Belling out
Laces sadness into the gusting
Sound of the wind!

Kojijū
44

The Left’s ‘fail to close his eyes’ is a commonly utilised viewpoint, while the Right’s ‘lacing sadness into the gusts’ is unsatisfactory—simply ‘laced’ would be preferable. Nevertheless, neither of these are particularly significant faults, so these should tie.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 13

Round One

Deer

Left (Tie)

さをしかも秋をかなしとおもへばやときしも声をたてて鳴くらん

saoshika mo
aki o kanashi to
omoeba ya
toki shimo koe o
tatete nakuran
Does the stag, too,
Autumn’s sadness
Feel?
That at this time, of all, his cry
Should ring out so…

Lord Shige’ie
25

Right

嶺になく鹿の音ちかくきこゆなり紅葉吹きおろす夜はのあらしに

mine ni naku
shika no ne chikaku
kikoyu nari
momiji fuki’orosu
yowa no arashi ni
Crying upon the peak
The stag’s bell close by
Sounds, carried
With blown down scarlet leaves
On the midnight storm…

Lord Tsunemori
26

The Left truly sounds as if it grasps the conception with its use of ‘of all, his cry’. The Right, too, is poetic with ‘blown down scarlet leaves’. There may be some who say that one should not compose using a subsidiary topic, yet in the poetry match held in Tentoku[i] and the poetry match held by Emperor Kazan[ii], this was judged not to be a fault.


[i] This was the Dairi uta’awase Tentoku yo-nen 内裏歌合 天徳四年 (‘Palace Poetry Match Tentoku 4’) held by Emperor Murakami on the 30th day of the Third Month, Tentoku 4 [28.4.960].

[ii] This was the Dairi uta’awase Kanna gan-nen 内裏歌合 寛和元年 (‘Palace Poetry Match Kanna 1’) held by Emperor Kazan the 10th day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1 [28.8.985].

Daikōtaigōgū daijin kiyosuke-ason ke uta’awase 21

Round Twenty-One

Left (Win)

小倉山木木のもみぢのくれなゐはみねの嵐のおろすなりけり

ogurayama
kigi no momiji no
kurenai wa
mine no arashi no
orosu narikeri
On gloomy Mount Ogura
The leaves upon the trees,
So scarlet,
By the storm wind from the peak
Are tossed down.

Lord Kiyosuke
41

Right

ふかくあさきもみぢばながるあすか河ふちせは色にあらはれにけり

fukaku asaki
momijiba nagaru
asukagawa
fuchise wa iro ni
arawarenikeri
Across both depths and shallows
Flow the scarlet leaves
On the Asuka river,
Among the rapids and the pools
Have they appeared.

Shun’e
42

Neither of these is bad. The Right violates the five syllable pattern; the Left has no faults.

Shikin wakashū 975

At around the same time [Kenpō 4 (1216)] in summer, an impromptu composition.

つくばねのしげきの木のまかげはあれど秋にはかはる夏の夜の月

tsukubane no
shigeki no ko no ma
kage wa aredo
aki ni wa kawaru
natsu no yo no tsuki
On the peak of Tsukuba
Between the trees so lush
Shadows fall, yet
In autumn ‘twill be different—
The moon this summer night.

Juntoku

A kuzushiji version of the poem's text.
Created with Soan.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 11

Round Eleven

Left

しら雲の朝たつ山のからにしき枝に一むら春風ぞ吹く

shirakumo no
asa tatsu yama no
karanishiki
eda ni hito mura
harukaze zo fuku
Clouds of white
Arising with the morning on the mountain:
Cathay brocade
In a single bunch upon the branch
Blown by the breeze of spring! [1]

Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie
21

Right (Win)

かづらきや嶺の桜のさきしより心の空にかかるしら雲

kazuragi ya
mine no sakura no
sakishi yori
kokoro no sora ni
kakaru shirakumo
Upon Kazuragi
Peak, the cherries
Have bloomed and ever since
The heavens of my heart are
Draped with clouds of white.

Lord Nobunari
22

The Left’s poem has ‘Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade in a single bunch upon the branch’ and, while it mentions spring breezes in its final section and does not fail to reflect the surface appearance of its source poem, conveys a feeling of scarlet leaves without mentioning blossom or cherry, which I have to say is something of a fault. The Right’s poem does not seem poor and lacks any faults worth mentioning, so it should win.


[1] An allusive variation on SIS IV: 220.

KYS I: 57

Composed on blossom fallen on the water.

はなさそふあらしやみねをわたるらんさくらなみよるたにがはのみづ

Fana sasoFu
arasi ya mine wo
wataruran
sakuranami yoru
tanigaFa no midu
Enticing the blossom
Is it the storm wind upon the peak
That passes o’er
The cherry waves breaking
In the waters of a valley stream?

Lord Minamoto no Masakane

A kuzushiji version of the poem's text.
Created with Soan.