In judgement: the Left’s ‘Thousand Islands’ (chishima) is a familiar expression from the past, but I do not recall it being used in poetry. I am familiar with the Right’s ‘depths of Shinobu’ (shinobu no oku), so that is better. Again, the Right wins.
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of the expression ‘our hearts’ love’ (kokoro no koi)? The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘our hearts’ love’ is something I am completely unaccustomed to hearing. The Right’s poem does have ‘my heart upon the path’ (kokoro no michi), but the use of ‘more and more’ (itodoshiku) means it is difficult to make it a winner. The round should tie.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no defects worth criticising. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the initial and final sections of the Right’s poem lack connection with each other. Does the poem have a conception of hiddenness?
Shunzei’s judgement: The conception and configuration of the Left’s ‘cloud-capped peaks’ first shower of rain’ (kumoiru mine no hatsu shigure) seems charming [kokoro sugata okashiku mie]. On that basis, it should win.
A travel poem, included in a hundred poem sequence sent to be read by the Monk En’i.
岩根ふみ峰の椎柴折りしきて雲に宿かるゆふぐれの空
iFane Fumi
mine no siFisiba
worisikite
kumo ni yadokaru
yuFugure no sora
Treading ‘cross the deep-rooted crags
From brushwood on the peak
I break branches and spread them
Making my lodging beneath the clouds
Gazing at the evening skies…
Both teams say that the conceptions of the two poems resemble each other closely [kokoro hōfutsu].
Shuzei’s judgement: The Left, by starting, ‘That mountain dwelling’s loneliness feeling, the smoke’ (yamazato no sabishisa omou keburi yue) sounds as if it is the brushwood itself which has some sensitivity to the situation, and are rising up from time to time. I wonder about that. The Right’s evergreen groves ‘nearing the mountain’ (majikaki yama) is what should win.