Tag Archives: peaks

Love V: 16

Left.
思ひこそ千島の奥を隔てねどえぞ通はさぬ壺の碑

omoi koso
chishima no oku o
hedatenedo
ezo kayowasanu
tsubo no ishibumi
My love
Has not the Thousand Islands
Barring it, yet
The barbarians cannot pass
The Stone at Tsubo – nor can I write to you!

Kenshō
871

Right (Win).
思ひやる心幾重の峰越えて信夫の奧を尋ね入るらん

omoiyaru
kokoro ikue no
mine koete
shinobu no oku o
tazuneiruran
Dwelling on you,
My heart numberless
Peaks will cross
To the depths of Shinobu,
Perhaps to visit someone hidden there?

Ietaka
872

As the previous round.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘Thousand Islands’ (chishima) is a familiar expression from the past, but I do not recall it being used in poetry. I am familiar with the Right’s ‘depths of Shinobu’ (shinobu no oku), so that is better. Again, the Right wins.

Love V: 13

Left (Tie).
行通ふ心の戀をしるべにてまだ見ぬ峰を幾重越ゆらん

yukikayou
kokoro no koi o
shirube nite
mada minu mine o
ikue koyuran
Crossing distances, with
Our hearts’ love
As a guide;
How many unseen peaks
Must I yet cross…

Lord Ari’ie.
865

Right.
尋ぬべき程を聞くにもいとゞしく心の道ぞまづ迷ひぬる

tazunubeki
hodo o kiku ni mo
itodoshiku
kokoro no michi zo
mazu mayoinuru
The distance I must travel:
When I ask how far it is,
More and more
Does my heart upon the path
Begin by wandering lost.

Lord Takanobu.
866

The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of the expression ‘our hearts’ love’ (kokoro no koi)? The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘our hearts’ love’ is something I am completely unaccustomed to hearing. The Right’s poem does have ‘my heart upon the path’ (kokoro no michi), but the use of ‘more and more’ (itodoshiku) means it is difficult to make it a winner. The round should tie.

Love I: 7

Left (Win).

洩らすなよ雲ゐる嶺の初時雨木の葉は下に色變るとも

morasunayo
kumoiru mine no
hatsu shigure
ko no ha wa shita ni
iro kawarutomo
O, let it not leak out!
Though the cloud-capped peaks’
First shower of rain,
On the leaves’ underside
Has left a change of hue

A Servant Girl.

613

Right.

閨のうちは涙の雨に朽ち果てゝしのぶは茂る妻にぞ有ける

neya no uchi wa
namida no ame ni
kuchihatete
shinobu wa shigeru
tsuma ni zo arikeru
Within my bedchamber
A rain of tears
Has rotted all, so
The weeping ferns secretly grow thick
Around the edges…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

614

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no defects worth criticising. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the initial and final sections of the Right’s poem lack connection with each other. Does the poem have a conception of hiddenness?

Shunzei’s judgement: The conception and configuration of the Left’s ‘cloud-capped peaks’ first shower of rain’ (kumoiru mine no hatsu shigure) seems charming [kokoro sugata okashiku mie]. On that basis, it should win.

SZS VIII: 544

A travel poem, included in a hundred poem sequence sent to be read by the Monk En’i.

岩根ふみ峰の椎柴折りしきて雲に宿かるゆふぐれの空

iFane Fumi
mine no siFisiba
worisikite
kumo ni yadokaru
yuFugure no sora
Treading ‘cross the deep-rooted crags
From brushwood on the peak
I break branches and spread them
Making my lodging beneath the clouds
Gazing at the evening skies…

Jakuren

Winter II: 13

Left.

山里の寂しさ思ふ煙ゆへ絶え絶え立てる峯の椎柴

yamazato no
sabishisa omou
keburi yue
taedae tateru
mine no shiishiba
That mountain dwelling’s
Loneliness feeling,
The smoke,
Rising in sporadic strands:
The brushwood on the peak…

A Servant Girl.

565

Right (Win).

冬籠る草の戸ざしは霜枯れてま近き山の峯の椎柴

fuyugomoru
kusa no tozashi wa
shimogarete
majikaki yama no
mine no shiishiba
Sealed in winter
The blockading grasses are
Seared by frost, and
How much closer is the mountain
Peak’s brushwood.

Jakuren.

566

Both teams say that the conceptions of the two poems resemble each other closely [kokoro hōfutsu].

Shuzei’s judgement: The Left, by starting, ‘That mountain dwelling’s loneliness feeling, the smoke’ (yamazato no sabishisa omou keburi yue) sounds as if it is the brushwood itself which has some sensitivity to the situation, and are rising up from time to time. I wonder about that. The Right’s evergreen groves ‘nearing the mountain’ (majikaki yama) is what should win.

Winter II: 12

Left (Win).

清水もる谷の戸ぼそも閉ぢはてゝ氷を叩く嶺の松風

shimizu moru
tani no toboso mo
tojihatete
kōri o tataku
mine no matsukaze
Where spring waters flow
From out the valley mouth
Is stopped;
Against the ice strikes
The wind from off the pine-filled peaks.

A Servant Girl.

563

Right.

梢にも夜半の白雪積もるらし音弱り行嶺の松風

kozue ni mo
yowa no shirayuki
tsumorurashi
oto yowariyuku
mine no matsukaze
The treetops, too,
Within the snows tonight
Are buried, it seems:
The sounds have softened of
The wind from off the pine-filled peaks.

Nobusada.

564

Neither Left nor Right find any fault.

Shunzei’s judgement: The phrasing of both poems, such as ‘wind from off the pine-filled peaks’ (mine no matsukaze), ‘Against the ice strikes’ (kōri o tataku) and ‘sounds have softened’ (oto yowariyuku), has not particular strong or weak points [kōotsu nakuhaberedo], but still, ‘against the ice strikes’ seems a little superior.

Winter II: 7

Left (Win).

雪のうちに猶も緑の色ながら千世をあらはす嶺の若松

yuki no uchi ni
nao mo midori no
iro nagara
chiyo o arawasu
mine no wakamatsu
In amongst the snows,
Yet still does the fresh, green
Hue remain;
A thousand years made manifest in
The young pines on the peak.

Lord Suetsune.

553

Right.

今朝見れば雪高砂の松が枝は土につくまで降り積みにけり

kesa mireba
yuki takasago no
matsu ga e wa
tsuchi ni tsuku made
furitsuminikeri
Looking on this morning
The snow has reached such heights
The pine boughs are
Bent down to the ground,
Buried by the fall…

Lord Tsune’ie.

554

The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left state that the Right’s poem is ‘lacking in sense’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘A thousand years made manifest in the young pines on the peak’ (chiyo o arawasu mine no wakamatsu) is charming [okashiku miehaberu], but the in the phrase ‘Yet still does the fresh, green’ (nao mo midori no), the use of ‘still’ (mo) is old-fashioned, and including it produces a phrasing which is inferior to ‘yet’ (nao) alone. When I say such things, people may find them difficult to accept, but not to do so would do the Way a disservice, and thus, I must. The Right’s ‘The pine boughs are bent down to the ground’ (matsu ga e wa tsuchi ni tsuku made) is something which has been used in poetry since long ago, and so is somewhat commonplace [tsune no koto], but ‘such heights the pine’ (takasago no matsu) does not seem that bad [ito masanakuhaberuran]. The Left’s ‘young pines on the peak’ (mine no wakamatsu) should win.