Tag Archives: plum

Love V: 22

Left (Tie).

namida seku
sode no yosome wa
wasurezu ya to mo
iu hima zo naki
Tears are dammed upon
My sleeves, and within eyesight
Does she sit arrayed, but
‘Have you not forgotten me?’ –
To ask that, I have no chance!

Lord Sada’ie


ume ga e no
sue kosu naka no
kakine yori
omou kokoro ya
iro ni miemashi
The plum branches’
Tips cross beyond
Her fence, so
Will the love within my heart
Appear plain before her?


Both teams state there are no faults with their opponent’s poem.

In judgement: the Gentlemen of both Left and Right have stated that there are no faults with the style of either poem. I accept that and will make this round a tie.

Spring I: 12

Left (Win).


sora wa nao
kasumi mo yarazu
kaze saete
yukige ni kumoru
haru no yo no tsuki
The skies are still
Untouched by haze;
The wind clearly brings
A sense of snow to cloud
The moon, this springtime night.

A Servant Girl




ume ga e no
nioi bakari ya
haru naran
nao yuki fukashi
mado no akebono
Is a branch of plum’s
Scent alone
Still the snows lie deep
Outside my window this dawn.



Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem in this round.

Shunzei comments that both poems are simply and beautifully constructed in both form and phrasing, and the final two lines of both poems are equally charming. He feels, though, that the beginning of the Right’s poem would have been improved if, instead of ‘a branch of plum’ (ume ga e), which focuses the audience’s attention on the branch, and not the blossom, it had begun ‘Is the plum beneath my eaves’ (noki no ume), instead. In addition, while reluctant to discount ‘outside my window this dawn’ (mado no akebono), he cannot help but feel that ‘the moon, this springtime night’ (haru no yo no tsuki) is a more superlative conclusion, and so has to award victory to the Left.