Tag Archives: rain

Love VI: 23

Left (Win).
さはらずは今宵ぞ君を頼むべき袖には雨の時わかねども

sawarazu wa
koyoi zo kimi o
tanomubeki
sode ni wa ame no
toki wakanedomo
If you were unhindered
On this night, then, my love,
In you I could trust;
But on my sleeves the rain
Falls without surcease…

Lord Sada’ie.
945

Right.
來ぬ人を待つ夜更け行秋の雨は袖にのみ降る心地こそすれ

konu hito o
matsu yo fukeyuku
aki no ame wa
sode ni nomi furu
kokochi koso sure
When a man who fails to come
Is awaited and the night grows late,
The autumn rain
Falls on my sleeves, alone –
That is what I feel!

Ietaka.
946

The Right state: the phrase ‘if you were unhindered’ (sawarazu wa) sounds poor. The Left state: the Right have simply composed a poem just like Lord Yorimasa’s君戀ふとながめあかせる夜の雨は袖にしも降る心地こそすれ kimi kou to / nagame akaseru / yoru no ame wa / sode ni shimo furu / kokochi koso sure ‘That you love me / I have heard enough / This night when the rain / Upon my sleeves especially does fall – / That is what I feel!’.

In judgement: the Left are said to have a poor-sounding phrase, and the Right to have referred to Yorimasa’s poem. That it is difficult to entirely avoid to referring poems outside of the anthologies is something which people still seem to be unable to remember, but the Gentlemen of the Left have recalled this well. The final section of the Right’s poem does bear an uncanny resemblance to Yorimasa’s poem. If there should be a prior example of a phrase’s use, then while it maybe poor-sounding, the Left should win.

Love VI: 22

Left.
独のみ寢屋の板間もあはずして雨も涙も所せきまで

hitori nomi
neya no itama mo
awazushite
ame mo namida mo
tokoroseki made
All alone, and
The boards above my bedchamber
Fail to come together;
Until with raindrops and tears both
I am excessively…

Lord Ari’ie.
943

Right (Win).
深き夜の寢覺に何を思けむ窓打ちてすさむ暁の雨

fukaki yo no
nezame ni nani o
omoikemu
mado uchisusamu
akatsuki no ame
Late within the night,
I start awake; what
Was in my thoughts?
Beating against my window is
The dawntime rain.

Jakuren.
944

The Right state: we cannot grasp the sense of the Left’s use of ‘until’ (made). The Left state: the Right’s poem is certainly not easy to understand on hearing.

In judgement: is not the use of ‘until’ (made) simply because it is appropriate to conclude a poem with that syllable? I can see nothing problematic with the use of ‘beating against my window’ (mado uchisusamu) in the Right’s poem. Thus, I make the Right the winner.

 

Love VI: 21

Left (Tie).
かきくらし降りくる雨も君ならば濡るとてさらに厭はざらまし

kakikurashi
furikuru ame mo
kimi naraba
nuru tote sara ni
itowazaramashi
All is darkened by
The falling rain, but
Were that to be you, my love,
I would be drenched, but
It would not be unwelcome!

Lord Kanemune.
941

Right.
ひとり寢の床にしもなど音す覧しづかたにそゝく暁の雨

hitorine no
toko ni shimo nado
otosuran
shizukata ni sosoku
akatsuki no ame
Sleeping solo
In my bed, so why
Is there the sound
Of quiet dripping
Dawntime rain?

Lord Takanobu.
942

The Right state: while the Left’s poem does have a desirable sentiment, its expression is outrageous. The Left state: why, indeed, should there be a sound in the poet’s bed?

In judgement: the Left’s desirable sentiment is perfectly commonplace in poetry. The Right, with ‘dawntime rain’ (akatsuki no ame), is elegant. The poems are comparable and tie.