Left and Right both state that the opposing poem is pretentious.
In judgement: the Left’s poem seems well-constructed in its initial and final sections. However, as in Mototoshi’s poem long ago, ‘breaking a stem of miscanthus on the beach at Ise’, this seems to be a case of poetic allusion. The Right’s ‘Sleeves spread atop the rocks, waves breaking atop them’ (iwa shiku sode no nami no ue) seems to have been newly composed and seems elegant, but the final section is somewhat inferior. The Left has beginning and end matching. The Right has a superior initial section, but an inferior final one. Thus, the round ties.
Both teams say that they consider the other’s poem to be ‘trite’ [kyūbutsu] this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem certainly certainly has a conception [kokoro] which one is well-accustomed to hearing, but I am unable to recall exactly where. In form it is well-constructed [utazama yoroshikuhaberubeshi]. The Right’s initial “Waters in the valley soak the rocks – the sound swallowed” (tanimizu no iwa moru oto wa uzumorete) is excellent [yū], but the latter part is definitely old-fashioned [furite]. Thus, the Left must win.
Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.
Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’