Tag Archives: rocks

MYS XV: 3617

[One of] five poems composed when dropping anchor at Nagadojima in Aki province.

石走る瀧もとどろに鳴く蝉の声をし聞けば都し思ほゆ

ipabasiru
taki mo todoro ni
naku semi no
kowe o si kikeba
miyako si omopoyu
Running o’er the rocks
Cataracts resound –
When the singing cicadas
Song I hear
The capital comes to my thoughts.

Ōishi no Minomaro
大石蓑麻呂

Love V: 29

Left (Tie).
象潟や妹戀ひしらにさ寢る夜の磯の寢覺に月傾きぬ

kisakata ya
koishirani
sanuru yo no
iso no nezame ni
tsuki katabukinu
In Kisakata and
In love;
I sleep the night away, and
Awaking on the rocky shore
Behold the moon descending.

Kenshō
897

Right.
清見潟岩敷く袖の浪の上に思ふもわびし君が面影

kiyomigata
iwa shiku sode no
nami no ue ni
omou mo wabishi
kimi ga omokage
At Kiyomigata
Sleeves spread atop the rocks,
Waves breaking atop them;
Heart filled with pain
At the memory of your face…

Jakuren
898

Left and Right both state that the opposing poem is pretentious.

In judgement: the Left’s poem seems well-constructed in its initial and final sections. However, as in Mototoshi’s poem long ago, ‘breaking a stem of miscanthus on the beach at Ise’, this seems to be a case of poetic allusion. The Right’s ‘Sleeves spread atop the rocks, waves breaking atop them’ (iwa shiku sode no nami no ue) seems to have been newly composed and seems elegant, but the final section is somewhat inferior. The Left has beginning and end matching. The Right has a superior initial section, but an inferior final one. Thus, the round ties.

 

tonasegawa

戸無瀬河岩間に立たむ筏師や浪に濡れても暮を待つらん

tonasegawa
iwama ni tatamu
ikadashi ya
nami ni nuretemo
kure o matsuran
At the river Tonase
Bursting from between the rocks
The raftsman
If he would be wet with waves
Should surely wait for evening?

Fujiwara no Toshinari
From ‘The Hundred Poem Sequence Composed at the House of the Minister of the Right’ (1172)

Spring III: 19

Left (Win).

山吹の花のさかりになりぬとや折知りがほに蛙鳴くらん

yamabuki no
hana no sakari ni
narinu to ya
ori shirigao ni
kawazu nakuran
Golden kerria
Blooms their peak
Have reached, so
Seeming to know the season
Do the frogs sing on.

Lord Suetsune.

157

Right.

谷水の岩もる音はうづもれてすだく河づの聲のみぞする

tanimizu no
iwa moru oto wa
uzumorete
sudaku kawazu no
koe nomi zo suru
Waters in the valley
Soak the rocks – the sound
Swallowed by
Swarming frogs’
Singular songs.

Ietaka.

158

Both teams say that they consider the other’s poem to be ‘trite’ [kyūbutsu] this round.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem certainly certainly has a conception [kokoro] which one is well-accustomed to hearing, but I am unable to recall exactly where. In form it is well-constructed [utazama yoroshikuhaberubeshi]. The Right’s initial “Waters in the valley soak the rocks – the sound swallowed” (tanimizu no iwa moru oto wa uzumorete) is excellent [yū], but the latter part is definitely old-fashioned [furite]. Thus, the Left must win.

Spring I: 17

Left.

山川の氷のくさびうちとけて石にくだくる水の白波

yamakawa no
kōri no kusabi
uchitokete
ishi ni kudakuru
mizu no shiranami
The mountain stream’s
Icy wedges
Are melting;
Broken on the rocks
In white-capped waves of water.

Lord Ari’ie

33

Right (Win).

春風に下ゆく浪の數見えて殘ともなき薄氷かな

harukaze ni
shita yuku nami no
kazu miete
nokoru tomonaki
usukōri kana
With the breath of spring,
Flowing beneath, waves
In numbers can be seen;
Hardly any remains – just
A coating of ice.

Ietaka

34

Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’