よそにのみ見てやはこひむ紅のすゑつむ花のいろにいでずは
| yoso ni nomi mite ya wa koFimu kurenawi no suetumuFana no iro ni idezu Fa | Simply from a distance Have I glimpsed you, and yearned, Though scarlet Safflower Hues I have not shown…[i] |
[i] See: Topic unknown. 人しれずおもへばくるし紅のすゑつむ花のいろにいでなむ hito shirezu / omoeba kurushi / kurenai no / suetsumuhana no . iro ni idenamu ‘Unknown to all / Are my feelings; what pain! / Scarlet / As the safflower / Would I show my love.’ Anonymous (Kokinshū XI: 496)
Original
あきやまはからくれなゐになりにけりいくしほしぐれふりてそめけむ
| akiyama wa karakurenai ni narinikeri iku shio shigure furite somekemu | The autumn mountains To Cathay scarlet Have turned; How many dippings with drizzle Have fallen to dye them so? |
9
Left
しぐれつつくれなゐふかくやまのはもあきはてゆけばかひなかりけり
| shiguretsutsu kurenai fukaku yama no ha mo aki hateyukeba kainakarikeri | With every shower The scarlet deepens Of the leaves upon the mountain— With autumn reaching its ending How pointless that is… |
10
Right
いくしほもしぐれはふらじさほひめのふかくそめたるいろとこそみれ
| iku shio mo shigure wa furaji saohime no fukaku sometaru iro to koso mire | No matter how many dippings With drizzle fall, Princess Sao’s Deeply dyed Hues we see! |
11
From the poetry match at Tsurayuki’s house in Tengyō 2 – The beginning of autumn.
松もなくしげき木の葉は夏ながらもみぢの色ぞ染めはじめける
| matsu mo naku shigeki no ha wa natsu nagara momiji no iro zo somehajimekeru | Not waiting at all The leaves upon the trees, so lush In summer, have With scarlet hues Begun to be dyed! |
Anonymous
Round Twelve
Left (T – Win)
柞原紅ふかく染めてけり時雨の雨はいろなけれども
| hahasowara kurenai fukaku sometekeri shigure no ame wa iro nakeredomo | The oak groves Deeply scarlet Have been dyed, Though the rain shower Lacks any hue at all… |
Lord Shigemoto
23
Right (M – Win)
山里はならのから葉の散敷きてしぐれの音もはげしかりけり
| yamazato wa nara no karaba no chirishikite shigure no oto mo hageshikarikeri | My mountain retreat has The oaks’ withered leaves Scattered and spread around, so The sound of showers is all The more severe. |
Lord Tamezane
24
Toshiyori states: the ‘oak grove’ poem, saying that plants fade and autumn leaves are dyed by things like dew and frost is as unremarkable as saying that one’s sweetheart’s skirt trails down. The ‘mountain retreat’ poem has ‘the oaks’ withered leaves’ and this is problematic. It would certainly have been better to avoid using ‘withered leaves’. In addition, I wonder about saying ‘the sound of showers is severe’? I feel it would be better to use this when looking down on the stony valley gate from the high peak of Mount Arachi. The first poem is slightly superior.
Mototoshi states; the poems of Left and Right are about the same quality, but the Left’s poem lacks a conception of showers and is entirely a poem on scarlet leaves, so in the current context ‘oaks’ withered leaves’ is slightly superior.
Round Twelve
Left (Tie)
柞原しぐれにそむるくれなゐはこずゑの風や吹きてほすらん
| hahasowara shigure ni somuru kurenai wa kozue no kaze ya fukitehosuran | The oak groves by The showers are dyed With scarlet— Might the wind through the treetops, Gusting, bring dryness? |
Shinkaku
95
Right
紅葉ばは入日の影のさしそひてゆふくれなゐの色ぞことなる
| momijiba wa irihi no kage no sashisoite yūkurenai no iro zo kotonaru | The autumn leaves By sunset’s light Are struck, and Evening’s scarlet Hue is startlingly fine! |
Lay Priest Norinaga
96
In the Left’s poem I would want there to be an expression such as ‘robe’ or ‘brocade’ which is being blown. As for the Right, it lacks any unusual diction, but has no noticeable faults, so these should tie.
Round Eleven
Left
おぼつかないづれうらごの山ならんみなくれなゐにみゆる紅葉ば
| obotsukana izure urago no yama naran mina kurenai ni miyuru momijiba | How strange it is— Where is Urago Mountain, I wonder? When all the same scarlet Seem the autumn leaves… |
Kiyosuke
93
Right (Win)
大ゐ河きしのもみぢのちるをりは浪にたたするにしきとぞみる
| ōigawa kishi no momiji no chiru ori wa nami ni tatasuru nishiki to zo miru | At the River Ōi, When the scarlet leaves upon the bank Come to fall, Cut out by the waves, Does their brocade appear! |
Mikawa
94
When I listen to the Left I wonder what on earth it’s actually about—the end seems redolent of love. The Right doesn’t seem to have any particular faults, so it should win.
Round Nine
Left (Tie)
秋ごとに葉もりの神のつらきかな紅葉を風にまかすとおもへば
| aki goto ni hamori no kami no tsuraki kana momiji o kaze ni makasu to omoeba | Every single autumn, The guardian deity of the leaves is Cruel, indeed! The scarlet leaves to the wind He does abandon, I feel… |
Narinaka
89
Right
くれなゐに梢の色のかはるより風の音さへあらずなるかな
| kurenai ni kozue no iro no kawaru yori kaze no oto sae arazunaru kana | Since to scarlet The treetops hues Have changed, Even the sound of the wind is Not as it was! |
Tōren
90
The Left depicts things just as they are. If the Right has the same conception as the Cathay-style poem on the wind lessening every morning at Shanglin Park,[1] then it’s that one feels that after the leaves have turned, they’ll scatter, yet one has to think that, later, in summer the treetops will grow lush again, and the sounds do not resemble each other; neither of these are faults and so the round ties.
[1] Wakan rōeishū 312
