shime | Waka Poetry

Round Thirteen

Left

すみよしのあまくだりますまつのうへにそらよりかくる月のしらゆふ

sumiyoshi no
amakudarimasu
matsu no ue ni
sora yori kakuru
tsuki no shirayū

At Sumiyoshi
Did the Deity descend from Heaven
To the pines—upon them
From the skies are hung
The moon’s sacred streamers.

Kamo no Agatanushi Masahira
Kataoka Junior Assistant Priest[1]
25

Right (Win)

しめのうちにしらゆふかけぬひまぞなき月もたむけのこころありけり

shime no uchi ni
shirayū kakenu
hima zo naki
tsuki mo tamuke no
kokoro arikeri

Within the holy precints
Sacred streamers fail to hang
In not a single spot—
The moon to make an offering
Is of a mind.

Lord Fujiwara no Chikashige
Junior Fifth Rank, Upper Grade,
Without Office[2]
26

While the poem of the Left’s ‘From the skies are hung’ and so forth seems charming, I do wonder about the idea of the ‘Deity descending from Heaven / To the pines’—it’s vague. The poem of the Right’s conception and configuration of ‘The moon to make an offering’ appears pleasant, and thus it wins.

[1] Kataoka negi jūyon’ijō Kamo agatanushi Masahira 片岡禰宜従四位上賀茂県主政平

[2] San’i jūgoijō Fujiwara ason Chikashige 散位従五位上藤原朝臣親重

Round Eight

Left (Win)

すみよしのまつふくかぜのおとさえてうらさびしくもすめる月かな

sumiyoshi no
matsu fuku kaze no
oto saete
ura sabishiku mo
sumeru tsuki kana

At Sumiyoshi
The wind gusting through the pines
Sounds so chill, as
Sad and lonely above the shore
Clear is the moon!

Lord Taira no Tsunemori
Director of the Bureau of Palace Storehouses
Assistant Master of the Dowager Empress’ Household Office
Exalted Senior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade[1]
15

Right

やはらぐるひかりや月にそへつらむしめのうちにはてりまさりけり

yawaraguru
hikari ya tsuki ni
soetsuramu
shime no uchi ni wa
terimasarikeri

Has the God dimmed
His light, that the moon,
Seems to drift across, and
Within the sacred bounds
Shine brightest of all?

Lord Fujiwara no Yorisuke
Junior Fourth Rank, Upper Grade[2]
16

The configuration and diction of the poem of the Left are easily grasped and seem to be filled with lonely sadness. The Right’s conception, in turn, expresses the essential essence of the moon over a shrine. However, I do feel that ‘the moon, / Seems to drift across’ is somewhat insufficient. In addition, the Left’s tone sounds strikingly superior, and thus it wins.

[1] Shōyon’ige-gyō kura no kami ken taikōtaigōgū no suke Taira ason Tsunemori 正四位下行内蔵頭兼太皇太后宮亮平朝臣経盛

[2] Jūyon’ijō Fujiwara ason Yorisuke 従四位上藤原朝臣頼輔

Waka Poetry

Tag Archives: shime

Kinkai wakashū 639

Kinkai wakashū 455

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 13

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 08

MYS II: 115

MYS VII: 1342

'Simply moving and elegant'