Tag Archives: shio

Kanpyō no ōntoki chūgū uta’awase 7

Autumn

Round Seven

Left

秋山はからくれなゐに成りにけりいくしほしぐれふりてそめけん

akiyama wa
karakurenai ni
narinikeri
iku shio shigure
furite someken
The autumn mountains
To Cathay scarlet
Have turned;
How many dippings with drizzle
Have fallen to dye them so?

13[1]

Right (Win)

秋きぬとめにはさやかにみえねども風の音にぞおどろかれぬる

aki kinu to
me ni wa sayaka ni
mienedomo
kaze no oto ni zo
odorokarenuru
That autumn has come
With my eyes, clearly,
I cannot see, yet
The sound of the wind
Has startled me.

Fujiwara no Toshiyuki 14[2]


[1] Shokugosenshū VII: 429

[2] This poem was particularly highly evaluated and so is included in numerous other anthologies (Kokin rokujō I: 125), exemplary collections (Shinsen waka 2) and senka awase – contests assembled from prior poems (Shunzei sanjū roku nin uta’awase 61; Jidai fudō uta’awase 49).

GYS VI: 918

Composed on plovers.

沖つ潮指出の磯の浜千鳥風寒からし夜半に友呼ぶ

oki tsu shio
sashide no iso no
hama chidori
kaze samukarashi
yowa ni tomo yobu
From the offing the tides
Strike the shore at Sashide;
On the beach plovers,
Chilled by the wind
Call for their mates at midnight.

Supernumerary Middle Counsellor [Fujiwara no] Nagakata (1139-1191)
藤原長方

Plovers and a sand piper.

Love X: 17

Left (Tie)
よそにやは釣する志賀の海人を見ん枕の下を知らせだにせば

yoso ni ya wa
tsuri suru shiga no
ama o min
makura no shita o
shirase dani seba
Unconnected with
Fishing diver-girls
At Shiga would I seem?
When what lies beneath my pillow
Is revealed…

Lord Ari’ie
1173

Right
潮たるる袖にあはれの深きより心に浮ぶ海人の釣舟

shio taruru
sode ni aware no
fukaki yori
kokoro ni ukabu
ama no tsuribune
Tide-spattered
Sleeves: my sorrow is
So deep that
Floating upon my heart is
A diver-girl’s fishing boat!

Nobusada
1174

Left and Right together state: no faults.

In judgement: the poem of the Left has ‘unconnected with fishing diver-girls at Shiga would I seem?’ (yoso ni ya wa tsuri suru shiga no ama o min) and the poem of the Right has ‘floating upon my heart is a diver-girl’s fishing boat!’ (kokoro ni ukabu ama no tsuribune): both have profound conception and their diction sounds pleasant, so it is difficult to divide them into superior and inferior works. Thus, I make this a tie.

Love VIII: 2

Left (Win)
今はさはあはれと思へ菅の根の長き心の程は見つらん

ima wa sa wa
aware to omoe
suga no ne no
nagaki kokoro no
hodo wa mitsuran
Now, indeed, let you
Think fondly of me!
The grasses’ roots run
Long, my heart’s
Love will you see…

Lord Suetsune
1023

Right
世とゝもにかはくまもなき我袖や潮干もわかぬ浪の下草

yo to tomo ni
kawaku ma mo naki
wa ga sode ya
shioi mo wakanu
nami no shitagusa
With the passing time,
Not a moment dry
Are my sleeves;
Low tide does not reveal
The seaweed beneath the waves…

Lord Takanobu
1024

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: the Right’s poem is clichéd.

In judgement: the Right, in addition to being clichéd, can say no more than that love means wet sleeves. The Left’s ‘grasses’ roots’ (suga no ne) is certainly better.

Love VII: 10

Left (Tie).
雲井まで續きて見ゆわたつ海の行衛知られぬ物思かな

kumoi made
tsuzukite miyu
wata tsu umi no
yukue shirarenu
mono’omoi kana
Beyond the clouds
My gaze goes on and on;
The endless sea:
What lies beyond is unknown
As my gloomy thoughts…

Lord Suetsune.
979

Right.
伊勢の海の潮瀬にさはぐさざれ石の砕けて物を思ふ比かな

ise no umi no
shiose ni sawagu
sazare’ishi no
kudakete mono o
omou koro kana
The sea at Ise:
Raging rapids with the tides,
Where pebbles
Shatter, gloom
Filling my thoughts these days…

Ietaka.
980

The Right state: the Left’s poem is clichéd. The Left state: the Right’s poem is that of Shigeyuki.

In judgement: the Left’s poem is clichéd, but in addition to this uses ‘goes on and on’ (tsuzukite), which is not something one should say. The Right’s poem is, indeed, overly close to Shigeyuki’s, so both Left and Right poem are deficient and lacking in any element allowing a win.

Love VII: 9

Left (Win).
思ヘどもまだ見ぬ程は滿つ潮に入りぬる磯のためしだになし

omoedomo
mada minu hodo wa
mitsu shio ni
irinuru iso no
tameshi dani nashi
I love her, yet
Have not caught a glimpse;
The rising tide
Flooding the rocky shore –
There’s not even a case of that!

Lord Kanemune.
977

Right.
岩根打つ荒磯浪の高きこそまだよそながら袖は濡るなれ

iwane utsu
ara’iso nami no
takaki koso
mada yosonagara
sode wa nuru nare
Crashing on the crags by
The rocky shore, the waves
Are high, indeed;
Distant, perhaps, but
Still my sleeves are soaked…

Lord Takanobu.
978

Both Left and Right state that the opposing poem lacks a strong conception of the sea.

In judgement: I wonder whether the suggestion by both Left and Right that the poems lack a strong conception of the sea is correct. The Left has ‘the rising tide flooding the rocky shore’ (mitsu shio ni irinuru iso), while the Right has ‘crashing on the crags by the rocky shore’ (iwane utsu ara’iso). If these expressions do not strongly convey the conception of the sea, then I ask you, what would? I wonder, though, how one’s sleeves can get soaked if the waves, though high, are distant. The final section of the Left’s poem is elegant. It wins.

Love VI: 30

Left (Tie).
奈呉の海士の塩燒く煙空にのみ我名を立てゝやまんとやする

nago no ama no
shio yaku kemuri
sora ni nomi
wa ga na wo tatete
yaman to ya suru
At Nago the fisherfolk’s
Salt-burning smoke fills
The skies; is that all
My names is to be? Gossip
And then the end?

Kenshō.
959

Right.
山田守るかひ屋が下の煙こそこがれもやらぬたぐひなりけれ

yamada moru
kaiya ga shita no
kemuri koso
kogare mo yaranu
tagui narikere
Warding the mountain fields
Beneath the heated hut
The smoke
Smoulders without end –
And so do I!

Jakuren
960

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: we wonder about the usage of ‘beneath the heated hut’ (kaiya ga shita) with ‘warding the mountain fields’ (yamada moru). In reply: in the Man’yōshū ‘heated hut’ (kaiya), is written with characters meaning ‘deer-repelling fire hut’. In addition, in territories where they wish to drive the deer away from their mountain paddies, they take things which smell foul when burnt, such as hair, and burn them, and in order that the fires are not put out by the rain, they build a roof over them. The common folk of these places call these things ‘heated huts’ (kaiya). So, the Man’yōshū’s usage corresponds with actual practice. Again, a further criticism from the Left: the Master of the Crown Prince’s Household Office composed a poem on salting. Atsutaka also includes ‘heated hut’ in the section on mosquito fires. Such are the ideas of our forebears. That ‘heated hut’ is written in Man’yōshū with characters meaning ‘deer-repelling fire’ and ‘scented fire’ is no proof of anything. Might it not have been written this way so that it would be read to mean ‘keep’? One certainly cannot sweepingly say that it means ‘deer-repelling fire’. A further response from the Right: our forebears have presented no definite evidence, and so it is difficult to accept this argument. In addition, has it not long been accepted that ‘morning haze’ can be used to refer to the smoke from deer-repelling fires, when composing on the haze spreading? Furthermore, in the Hitomaroshū, there is the poem ‘On Kogane Mountain / Beneath the heated hut / Frogs call’. Thus, it appears that this composition must refer to mountain fields.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘At Nago the fisherfolk’ (nago no ama) links the initial and latter sections of the poem extremely well. There seems to be have been some discussion from both teams about the Right’s ‘beneath the heated hut the smoke’ (kaiya ga shita no kemuri). Prior to the to and fro about this poem, was there not a similar discussion about heated huts in the final section of spring poems about frogs? With the greatest respect, the discussion here seems little different. However, in regard to the Right’s poem, saying that love smoulders is the normal way of expressing matters. I do wonder about ‘smoulders without end’ (kogare mo yaranu), but this would certainly seem appropriate with the reference to a heated hut. The Left, in addition, with ‘salt burning smoke’ (yaku shio kemuri) lacks any faults to indicate, so with no clear winner or loser, I make this round a tie.