shore | Waka Poetry

Round Seven

Left

恋せじとおもひなるせによる浪のかへりてそれもくるしかりけり

koiseji to
omoinaru se ni
yoru nami no
kaerite sore mo
kurushikarikeri

I’ll love you no more,
Did I come to think, the crash of
Breaking waves
Returning, but that, too
Has brought me pain.

Lord Kanemasa
61

Right (Both Judges – Win)

玉藻かる忍ぶの浦の蜑だにもいとかく袖はぬるるものかは

tamamo karu
shinobu no ura no
ama dani mo
ito kaku sode wa
nururu mono ka wa

Reaping gemweed
On Shinobu shore,
Do even the fisherfolk
Have sleeves so very
Drenched, indeed?

Lord Masamitsu
62

Toshiyori states: both of these are charming, however, a line from a famous poem is used for as the initial section, and in such cases the new poem should not closely evoke the source. Someone once said something similar, a long time ago. It’s a bit inferior, isn’t it.

Mototoshi states: neither of these contain any errors, yet the section following the central ‘crash of / Breaking waves’ seems intermittently painful, with sleeves damper than those of the fisherfolk on Shinobu shore. It seems a bit better at present.

Composed when he was far from courtier’s hall.

あまつ風ふけひの浦にゐるたづのなどか雲井にかへらざるべき

ama tsu kaze
fukei no ura ni
iru tazu no
nado ka kumoi ni
kaerazarubeki

Heaven’s breezes
Blow upon the shore at Fukei, where
Rests a crane:
Why, beyond the clouds,
May he not return?

Fujiwara no Kiyotada
藤原清正[1]

[1] Fujiwara no Kiyotada 藤原清正 (?-953): one of the Thirty-Six Poetic Immortals and a minor courtier. As well as being included in Shinkokinshū, this poem is also listed in Wakan rōeishū (II: 453), Kiyotada’s personal collection, Kiyotada-shū (89) and also the personal collection of Fujiwara no Tadami 藤原忠見, Tadami-shū (143). While Wakan rōeishū simply gives the topic of the poem as ‘Cranes’, the personal collections provide more information. Tadami states that the poem was ‘Sent to the Shōni Palace Lady to present in his place when he was of about the age to be admitted to the Courtier’s Hall and had become Governor of Kii’ making the waka a plea for further advancement at court. Kiyotada himself simply says ‘When I had become Governor of Kii and had not yet been permitted to enter the Courtier’s Hall.’ Tanaka and Akase (1992, 502) note that Kiyotada was appointed Governor of Kii while still a Chamberlain at Sixth Rank, when this was usually a post held by someone of Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade, the lowest rank at which a man would be permitted to enter the Courtier’s Hall (tenjō no ma 殿上間) and have direct contact with the emperor. The poem is, thus, simultaneously, an expression of gratitude for imperial favour (the ‘heavenly wind’) to him (‘the crane’) which has made him Governor of Ki – the province where Fukei is located, and a plea that he be allowed above ‘the clouds’ (into the Courtier’s Hall), which is subtly laced with resentment (‘Why haven’t I had the promotion in rank which this post would normally bring?’)!