Tag Archives: sky

Saishō chūjō kuninobu no ie no uta’awase 13

Left (Win).
思ひあまりながむる空の掻き曇り月さへ我を厭ひつるかな

omoFi’amari
nagamuru sora no
kakikumori
tuki saFe ware wo
itoFituru kana
Filled full with love
The sky on which I turn my gaze
Is drowned in darkness;
Even the moon from me
Does shy!

The Consultant Middle Captain 宰相中将
[Minamoto no Kuninobu 源国信]
25

Right.
嵐吹く夜寒の里の寝覚めにはいとど人こそ恋ひしかりけれ

arasi Fuku
yo samu no sato no
nezame ni Fa
itodo Fito koso
koFisikarikere
Stom winds rage
Round my night-chilled home;
Starting from sleep
How much more do
I love her now…

The Minister of Justice 刑部卿
[Minamoto no Akinaka 源顕仲]
26

Love IV: 21

Left (Win).
あらましに心は盡きぬ今夜とて待たばと思ふ夕暮の空

aramashi ni
kokoro wa tsukinu
koyoi tote
mataba to omou
yūgure no sora
Wondering if it will it be
Has been the sole focus of my thoughts;
Tonight, he said –
‘If only you could wait,’ so thinks
The evening sky…

Lord Ari’ie.
821

Right.
心さへかきくらすかなつくづくと思ひ入り日の空を眺めて

kokoro sae
kakikurasu kana
tsukuzuku to
omoi irihi no
sora o nagamete
My very heart
Is sunk in darkness;
On and on,
Go my thoughts with the setting sun,
Gazing at the sky…

Lord Tsune’ie.
822

The Right state: we find no faults. The Left state: saying ‘on and on’ (tsukuzuku) seems somewhat weak.

In judgement: the final line of the Left’s poem sounds elegant. Again, I make the Left the winner.

Love IV: 19

Left (Win).
つれなくて今日も過ぬと思には暮るゝ空さへ恨めしき哉

tsurenakute
kyō mo suginu to
omou ni wa
kururu sora sae
urameshiki kana
Heartlessly
Has she spent today,
I think, and
Evening the darkening sky
Do I despise!

Lord Suetsune.
817

Right.
あやにくに物ぞ悲しき待ちし日は曇る空さへ嬉しかりしを

ayaniku ni
mono zo kanashiki
machishi hi wa
kumoru sora sae
ureshikarishi o
Unexpectedly,
All is sadness;
All day I waited, and
The very clouding of the sky
Was a joy, but…

Lord Takanobu.
818

The Right: we find no faults to mention. The Left state: ‘The very clouding’ (kumoru sae koso) does not sound like a reference to the evening.

In judgement: in the Right’s poem, as it begins with  ‘unexpectedly’ (ayaniku ni), it then becomes unnecessary to mention clouding. The Left’s poem is pleasant. It should win.

Love IV: 4

Left.
つれなさの類までやはつらからぬ月をも愛でじ在明の空

tsurenasa no
tagui made ya wa
tsurakaranu
tsuki o mo medeji
ariake no sora
Heartless on parting are you,
And just so is the
Indifferent
Moon – no more will I care for it! –
In the sky at dawn.

Lord Ari’ie.
787

Right (Win).
逢ふと見る情もつらし暁の露のみ深き夢の通い路

au to miru
nasake mo tsurashi
akatsuki no
tsuyu nomi fukaki
yume no kayoiji
We met, I saw, and
How fond were you, but how cruel
The dawn, when
I was drenched with dew alone from
The path of dreams…

Lord Takanobu.
788

The Gentlemen of the Right state: if the Left allude to the poem ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed / To part’, then this poem refers to the cruelty of a lover, but their poem suggests that the moon is the cruel one. Is this appropriate? In response: ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed’ can also be interpreted as referring to the moon. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right use the diction ‘fond’ (nasake), but the sense of this does not follow in the poem.

In judgement: the Left builds on the poem which starts ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed / To part, but’ and then says more than the lover’s heartlessness, ‘The fading moon / Cared not at all.’ So, given that this is the case, it’s not really saying anything different from ‘No more will I care for the moon!’ As for the Right, it sounds as if the lover’s fondness appears in the ‘dream’ (yume), but the final section seems good. The Right’s poem is somewhat superior.