Tag Archives: sky

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 34

Round Nine

Left (Win)

うらさむくしぐるるよはのたびごろもきしのはにふにいたくにほひぬ

ura samuku
shigururu yowa no
tabigoromo
kishi no hanyū ni
itaku nioinu
The bay is cold with
Midnight showers, as
My traveller’s robe
With the shore’s ochre clay
Is deeply stained.

Taifu
67

Right

おもへただみやこのうちのねざめだにしぐるるそらはあはれならずや

omoe tada
miyako no uchi no
nezame dani
shigururu sora wa
aware narazu ya
Simply think of me, when
Within the capital
You start from sleep—
A showery sky is
Sad, isn’t it?

Sadanaga
68

While configuration of the Left’s poem, saying ‘With the shore’s ochre clay / Is deeply stained’ feels crude, it does appear to be in the style of the Myriad Leaves. As for the Right’s poem, its conception is good, but starting, ‘Simply think of me’ begs the question of who this is said to. Such diction is used in poetry exchanges or love poems, in particular. The Left’s poem is most likely superior.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 42

Round Six

Left (Win)

山姫はもみぢのにしきおりてけりたちなやつしそ嶺の朝霧

yamahime wa
momiji no nishiki
oritekeri
tachi na yatsushi so
mine no asagiri
The mountain’s princess,
Of scarlet leaves brocade
Has woven;
In your rising don’t despoil it,
O, morning mists upon the peak!

Lord Kinshige
83

Right

しぐれには紅葉の色ぞまさりける又かきくもる空はいとはじ

shigure ni wa
momiji no iro zo
masarikeri
mata kakikumoru
sora wa itowaji
A shower makes
The scarlet leaves’ hues
Most fine;
So, the swiftly clouding
Sky I could not dislike.

Lord Masahira

84

The Right sounds as if the poet has just come to the revelation that, even though a showery sky is charming, can one possibly dislike it, given that it improves the hues of the scarlet leaves. The Left isn’t bad, but it does have two identical sounds ending lines, and this has been called the same-sounding rhyme fault, I believe. With that being said, in the Tentoku Poetry Match, there were some poems with this feature which were criticized, and some which were not, so I wonder if this is not something to particularly worry about. In this poem it doesn’t sound like a defect and, taking this together with the fact that the Right’s poem is poor, the Left should win.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 34

Round Ten

Left

をぐらやま下ゆく水のさざれ石も数かくれなくてらす月かげ

ogurayama
shita yuku mizu no
sazare’ishi mo
kazu kakurenaku
terasu tsukikage
Beneath gloomy Mount Ogura
Flow waters full
Of pebbles,
Unable to conceal their numbers
In the shining moonlight.

Lord Kiyosuke
67

Right (Win)

あまの川とわたる月の影すみてにごれるよともみえぬ空かな

ama no kawa
towataru tsuki no
kage sumite
nigoreru yo tomo
mienu sora kana
Across the River of Heaven’s
Mouth passes the moon’s
Clear light—
Even this cloudy world
Does not appear so beneath this sky!

Shinkaku
68

There’s nothing to mention about the Left, and the same is the case for the Right, but for some reason should it win?

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 29

Round Five

Left

さやけさに又ことごともわすられてふた心なく月をこそみれ

sayakesa ni
mata kotogoto mo
wasurarete
futagokoro naku
tsuki o koso mire
In its pure clarity
Still, all other things
Are forgotten,
With no divisions in my heart
Do I view the moon!

Lord Suetsune
57

Right (Win)

いかで猶秋しも月のかかりけむみるほどあらじ夏のよならば

ikade nao
aki shimo tsuki no
kakarikemu
miru hodo araji
natsu no yo naraba
Why is it that always
In autumn, above all, the moon
Does seem to hang within the sky?
There’s no time to see it, perhaps,
On a summer night…

Lay Priest Sanekiyo
58

The Left’s configuration is entirely lacking in consistency and, in addition, fails to indicate a clear conception, so the Right must be declared the winner.

Daikōtaigōgū daijin kiyosuke-ason ke uta’awase 12

Round Twelve

Left (Tie)

秋風の吹くときくより七夕はこころのうちやすずしかるらん

akikaze no
fuku to kiku yori
tanabata wa
kokoro no uchi ya
suzushikaruran
Since the autumn breeze’s
Blowing she has heard,
The Weaver Maid
Surely within her heart
Feels a pleasant cool!

Suketaka
23

Right

七夕のまちつる程の久しさにはかなくあくる空をかへばや

tanabata no
machitsuru hodo no
hisashisa ni
hakanaku akuru
sora o kaeba ya
The Weaver Maid
Her waiting time’s
Eternity for
The briefly brightening
Sky would wish to change…

Moromitsu
24

Entō ōn’uta’awase 17

Round Seventeen

Cuckoos

Left (Tie)

さのみやは心あるべき時鳥ね覚の空に一声もがな

sanomi ya wa
kokoro arubeki
hototogisu
nezame no sora ni
hitogoe mogana
Not much of
The heart can you know,
O, cuckoo, but
On waking from the sky
I would hear a single call.

A Court Lady
33

Right

やはた山むかひの里の郭公しのびしかたの声もかはらず

yawatayama
mukai no sato no
hototogisu
shinobishi kata no
koe mo kawarazu
By Yawata Mountain,
At the estate of Mukai,
A cuckoo,
Fondly remembers someone
With a changeless song!

Lord Ietaka
34

The Left’s poem would seem to fail to reflect the essential meaning of the topic of cuckoos by having it not yet being heard, and thus its overall technique seems dreadful. The Right’s poem also lacks any superlative elements, they must tie.