百草の花のけぶりや七夕の雲の衣の袖に染むらむ
| momokusa no hana no keburi ya tanabata no kumo no koromo no sode ni shimuramu |
Are all the grasses Blooms, a smoke, that into The Weaver Maid’s Robe of cloud’s Sleeves will sink? |
Fujiwara no Shunzei
Tag Archives: smoke
Love VI: 9
Left.
戀わびて心空なる浮雲や行衛も知らずはてはなるべき
| koi wabite kokoro sora naru ukigumo ya yukue mo shirazu hate ha narubeki |
Suffering with love My heart is as the sky-bound Drifting clouds: In some unknown place Is where it will end… |
Lord Kanemune.
917
Right (Win).
戀死ぬるよはの煙の雲とならば君が宿にやわきてしぐれん
| koi shinuru yowa no kemuri no kumo to naraba kimi ga yado ni ya wakite shiguren |
Should I die of love, and Final smoke Clouds become, To your dwelling will I Drift and descend? |
Nobusada.
918
The Right state: does the Left’s poem really expresses the love of drifting clouds? The Left state: the Right’s poem is more suited to the topic of ‘Love and Smoke’.
In judgement: with regard to the Left’s poem, Lady Sagami’s poem from the Eishō Imperial Palace Poetry Competition: ‘Before I know it/In my heart, sky-bound/is my love’ (itsu to naku/kokoro sora naru/wa ga koi ya) would be a good prior example, but this poem inserts ‘drifting clouds’ (ukigumo ya), which is illogical. As for the Right’s poem, ‘To your dwelling will I drift and descend?’ (kimi ga yado ni ya wakite shiguren) sounds fine. Thus, and for this reason, the Right wins.
Horikawa hyakushu 1076
大原やをのの炭竃雪降りて心ぼそげに立つ煙かな
| oFoFara ya wono no sumigama yuki Furite kokorobosogeni tatu keburi kana |
Wide the meadows where Upon my charcoal kiln The snow is falling in Sad solitude The smoke arises. |
Minamoto no Moroyori (1068-1139)
源師頼
Horikawa Hyakushu 489
雲かかるとをちのさとのかやりびは煙たつとも見えぬなりけり
| kumo kakaru tōchi no sato no kayaribi wa keburi tatsutomo mienunarikeri |
Draped with cloud In far distant Tōchi From the smudge pots Smoke rises, yet Indeed, I see it not! |
Minamoto no Moritoki
源師時
(1077-1136)
Love III: 6
Left (Win).
袖の波胸の煙は誰も見よ君が憂き名の立つぞ悲しき
| sode no nami mune no kemuri wa tare mo miyo kimi ga ukina no tatsu zo kanashiki |
The waves upon my sleeves, and The smoke rising from my breast – Let all see them! But should you, my love, be called heartless, That would make me sad… |
731
Right.
うとからぬ人こそ今は恨みけれ忍びしほどの心強さを
| utokaranu hito koso ima wa uramikere shinobishi hodo no kokorozuyosa o |
My family and friends Now I do Despise: For when our love was hidden, They were all so cold… |
732
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: by prioritising the emotions of the relatives, the poem does not clearly express the conception of Love.
In judgement: the initial section of the Left’s poem sounds fine, but the final ‘would make me sad’ (kanashiki) is going too far. The Gentlemen of the Left have accurately described the faults of the Right’s poem, but beyond that there is nothing praiseworthy in the poem’s style, either. Thus I make the Left the winner.
Love I: 4
Left (Win).
靡かじな海士の藻塩火焚き初めて煙は空にくゆりわぶ共
| nabikaji na ama no moshiobi takisomete kemuri wa sora ni kuyuriwabutomo |
She has not so much as waved to me, yet The fisher-folk salt fires Have begun to kindle and The smoke into the skies Has yet to rise… |
607
ight.
葦の屋の隙漏る雨の雫こそ音聞かぬより袖は濡れけれ
| ashi no ya no hima moru ame no shizuku koso oto kikanu yori sode wa nurekeri |
Through a roof of reeds’ Chinks, drenching rain Drops Make no sound, yet Soak my sleeves. |
608
The Right state that it should be kuyuru in the Left’s poem – and that they are not accustomed to hearing kuyuri. The Left state that, ‘while the rain falling on a roof of reeds would make no sound, once it became drops dripping through, it would. In addition, while it “makes no sound”, how can it be love?’
Shunzei’s judgement: The gentlemen of the Right’s claim that the Left’s poem should be kuyuri is incorrect. This is simply a case of the same diction as in utsuru-utsuri, todomaru-todomari – I should not have to give more examples. In form the poems do have good and bad points [utazama zen’aku arubeki]. I have the feeling I have recently seen something similar to the Right’s metaphorical use of a roof of reeds. Or maybe it was not that recently. The Left’s ‘has yet to rise’ seems better. I shall make it the winner.
Winter II: 13
Left.
山里の寂しさ思ふ煙ゆへ絶え絶え立てる峯の椎柴
| yamazato no sabishisa omou keburi yue taedae tateru mine no shiishiba |
That mountain dwelling’s Loneliness feeling, The smoke, Rising in sporadic strands: The brushwood on the peak… |
565
Right (Win).
冬籠る草の戸ざしは霜枯れてま近き山の峯の椎柴
| fuyugomoru kusa no tozashi wa shimogarete majikaki yama no mine no shiishiba |
Sealed in winter The blockading grasses are Seared by frost, and How much closer is the mountain Peak’s brushwood. |
566
Both teams say that the conceptions of the two poems resemble each other closely [kokoro hōfutsu].
Shuzei’s judgement: The Left, by starting, ‘That mountain dwelling’s loneliness feeling, the smoke’ (yamazato no sabishisa omou keburi yue) sounds as if it is the brushwood itself which has some sensitivity to the situation, and are rising up from time to time. I wonder about that. The Right’s evergreen groves ‘nearing the mountain’ (majikaki yama) is what should win.
Winter II: 2
Left (Win).
宿ごとに絶えぬ朝餉の煙さへ冬の氣色はさびしかりけり
| yadogoto ni taenu asake no kemuri sae fuyu no keshiki wa sabishikarikeri |
From every house Unending is the breakfasts’ Smoke – and even that Makes a winter scene All the more lonely. |
543
Right.
朝まだき嵐は庭を渡れども雪には跡もつかぬ也けり
| asa madaki arashi wa niwa o wataredomo yuki ni wa ato mo tsukanu narikeri |
Early in the morning The storm wind, o’er my garden Gusts, yet Upon the fallen snow no trace It leaves. |
544
The Right say the Left’s poem ‘isn’t bad’ [ashikarazu]. The Left say the Right’s poem is ‘commonplace’ [tsune no koto nari].
Shunzei’s judgement: Although the Left’s ‘unending is the breakfasts’ smoke – and even that’ (taenu asake no kemuri sae) is lacking in poetic qualities [utashina no naku wa haberedo], the gentlemen of the Right have judged it not to be bad. As for the Right, if a storm blows through a garden, even if there is no snow, surely there would be some trace of it, wouldn’t there? The Left should win.
Summer II: 15
Left (Tie).
蚊遣火の煙いぶせき賤の庵にすゝけぬ物は夕顔の花
| kayaribi no kemuri ibuseki shizu no io ni susukenu mono wa yūgao no hana |
Mosquito smudge fires’ Fumes fill the dreary Peasant’s hut; but Untouched by soot are The moonflower blooms. |
269
Right (Tie).
煙立つ賤が庵か薄霧のまがきに咲ける夕顔の花
| kemuri tatsu shizu no iori ka usugiri no magaki ni sakeru yūgao no hana |
Is this smoke rising from The peasants’ huts? Faintly misted Blooming on the rough-hewn fence Are moonflowers… |
270
The Right have no criticisms to make this round. The Left simply say the phrase ‘huts? Faintly misted’ (iori ka usugiri) ‘stands out’.
Again, Shunzei is blunt: ‘The Left’s “untouched by soot” (susukenu) and the Right’s “faintly misted” (usugiri) are both equally poor. The round should tie.’
SKKS XI: 1010
Sent to a woman.
風ふけば室の八嶋のゆふ煙心のそらにたちにけるかな
| kaze fukeba muro no yashima no yū keburi kokoro no sora ni tachinikeru kana |
When the wind blows ‘cross the waters of Muro no Yashima At eventide as smoke, Up to the firmament of my heart, My passion soars… |
Fujiwara no Koreshige (953-989)