The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: the Right’s poem is clichéd.
In judgement: the Right, in addition to being clichéd, can say no more than that love means wet sleeves. The Left’s ‘grasses’ roots’ (suga no ne) is certainly better.
The Right state: why specifically refer to a ‘false crow’ (sorane)? This makes it sound as if the barrier would not be opened for a real bird’s cry. In response, the Left: as there is the precedent of a barrier being opened in response to a false crow, the poem draws upon this to refer to ‘the sounds I make’ (wa ga ne) – we fail to see why this is problematic. The Left state: we find no faults in need of identification in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: it seems difficult to distinguish between ‘the sounds I make’ and the ‘false crow’ in the Left’s poem, and the Right’s ‘dashed upon the waves are my sleeves’ (osauru sode) is pleasant. Thus, the Right wins.
Both Left and Right together state: there are no faults to indicate.
In judgement: using ‘the Minase River’ (minasegawa) preceded by ‘is just like it; why as’ (sa nomi wa ika ni) sounds charming in style, but ‘should her feelings be?’ (chigiri naruramu) means the end of the poem is a bit dry! ‘The River Sawada, even if my sleeves get drenched’ (sawadagawa sode tsuku hodo no) sounds pleasant. Thus, the Right wins.
The Right state: we find the Left’s poem unconvincing. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks any faults.
In judgement: in the Left’s poem, ‘my thoughts a river’ (omoigawa) is certainly not unconvincing. The latter section of the Right’s poem sounds fine. It should win.
A poem composed when the officials of the government headquarters in Dazai had visited the palace at Kashii, and halted their mounts on the shore at Kashii on the way home, in the winter, Eleventh Month, Jinki 5 [729].
いざ子ども香椎の潟に白栲の袖さへ濡れて朝菜摘みてむ
iza kodomo
kasipi no kata ni
sirotape no
sode sape nurete
asana tumitemu
Hey, fellows all!
On the tidelands of Kashii
Even white mulberry
Sleeves are soaked, so
Let’s gather greens for breakfast!