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Entō ōn'uta'awase

Entō ōn’uta’awase 11

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Round Eleven

Left

しら雲の朝たつ山のからにしき枝に一むら春風ぞ吹く

shirakumo no
asa tatsu yama no
karanishiki
eda ni hito mura
harukaze zo fuku		Clouds of white
Arising with the morning on the mountain:
Cathay brocade
In a single bunch upon the branch
Blown by the breeze of spring! [1]

Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie
21

Right (Win)

かづらきや嶺の桜のさきしより心の空にかかるしら雲

kazuragi ya
mine no sakura no
sakishi yori
kokoro no sora ni
kakaru shirakumo		Upon Kazuragi
Peak, the cherries
Have bloomed and ever since
The heavens of my heart are
Draped with clouds of white.

Lord Nobunari
22

The Left’s poem has ‘Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade in a single bunch upon the branch’ and, while it mentions spring breezes in its final section and does not fail to reflect the surface appearance of its source poem, conveys a feeling of scarlet leaves without mentioning blossom or cherry, which I have to say is something of a fault. The Right’s poem does not seem poor and lacks any faults worth mentioning, so it should win.

[1] An allusive variation on SIS IV: 220.

Teiji-in uta'awase

Teiji-in uta’awase 06

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Left (Win)

はるかぜのふかぬよにだにあらませばこころのどかにはなはみてまし

harukaze no
fukanu yo ni dani
aramaseba
kokoro nodoka ni
hana wa mitemashi		The spring breezes
Not blowing of an evening—if only
That were so, then
With peace in my heart
I would view the blossom

His Majesty

11

Right

ちりぬともありとたのまむさくらばなはるはすぎぬとわれにきかすな

chirinu tomo
ari to tanomamu
sakurabana
haru wa suginu to
ware ni kikasu na		You have fallen, yet
That you are here, I will believe,
O, cherry blossom!
That spring is past—
Don’t tell me that!

12

‘The Left’s poem is my own—it really should lose, shouldn’t it?’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 30

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Left (Tie).

吉野山花の故郷跡たえてむなしき枝に春風ぞ吹く

yoshino yama
hana no furusato
ato taete
munashiki eda ni
haru kaze zo fuku		 Upon Mount Yoshino –
The home of blossom –
Footprints fade away;
Now purposeless, the branches,
Shudder in the winds of spring.

A Servant Girl.

179

Right (Tie).

山の端ににほひし花の雲消えて春の日數は有明の月

yama no ha ni
nioishi hana no
kumo kiete
haru no hikazu wa
ariake no tsuki		 Along the mountains’ edge
The glow of blossom
Clouds has faded;
The numbered days of Spring,
Revealed by the dawntime moon.

Nobusada.

180

Both teams proclaim themselves moved by the other’s poem.

Shunzei, however, has this to say. ‘The Left’s poem contains “purposeless, the branches, shudder in the winds of spring” (munashiki eda ni harukaze zo fuku), and despite the fact that poems on Mount Yoshino have a somewhat old-fashioned air, and that one might wonder on which peaks it is such clouds of blossom remain, even these moss-covered sleeves have become thoroughly soaked with tears at the thought that the Way of poetry has not reached its end; the Right’s poem has “The numbered days of Spring, revealed by the dawntime moon” (haru no hikazu wa ariake no tsuki), and this has moved even this old heart to thoughts of such a dawning sky, so it is impossible to distinguish between the two in quality. Of old, Spring poems had style, indeed, and to think that such form and spirit still combine to torment the soul is something for which I am thoroughly grateful. Truly, these moss-covered sleeves have been drenched by both Left and Right!’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 8

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Left.

花散れば道やはよけぬ志賀の山うたて木ずゑを越ゆる春風

hana chireba
michi ya wa yokenu
shiga no yama
utate kozue o
koyuru haru kaze		 The blossom will fall, so
Will you not avoid the path
Across the Shiga Mountains?
Heartlessly, the treetops,
Brushing, O, springtime breeze!

Lord Ari’ie.

135

Right (Win).

さそはれて志賀の山路を越えぬれば散りゆく花ぞしるべなりける

sasowarete
shiga no yamaji o
koenureba
chiriyuku hana zo
shirube narikeru		 Invited
Shiga Mountains’ path
To cross,
The scattering blossoms
Show the way.

Lord Tsune’ie.

136

On the Left’s poem, the Right team state that ‘“will you not avoid” (yokenu) sounds poor.’ The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s work.

Shunzei agrees: ‘The terms “will you not avoid” and “heartlessly” (utate) seem quite unpleasant. Thus, the Right wins.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 22

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Left (Win).

春來れば空に亂るゝいとゆふを一筋にやはありと頼まん

haru kureba
sora ni midaruru
itoyū wo
hito suji ni ya wa
ari to tanoman		 When Spring is come,
The sky is disarrayed by
Heat haze, yet
For it to be all that is –
In that I cannot trust!

Lord Ari’ie.

103

Right.

春風のゝどかに吹けば青柳の枝もひとつに遊ぶ糸遊

haru kaze no
nodoka ni fukeba
aoyanagi no
eda mo hitotsu ni
asobu itoyū		 When spring breezes
Gently blow
Fresh willow
Fronds as one are
Wavering hazes…

Jakuren.

104

Both teams find no particular faults with the other’s poems.

Shunzei, however, comments, ‘Both poems are excellent in appearance, but the Left has ‘The sky is disarrayed’ (sora ni midaruru). The Right is ‘Fresh willow fronds as one’ (aoyanagi no eda mo hitotsu ni asobu): does this not suggest that haze wavers only in the vicinity of willows? The Left must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 17

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Left.

山川の氷のくさびうちとけて石にくだくる水の白波

yamakawa no
kōri no kusabi
uchitokete
ishi ni kudakuru
mizu no shiranami		 The mountain stream’s
Icy wedges
Are melting;
Broken on the rocks
In white-capped waves of water.

Lord Ari’ie

33

Right (Win).

春風に下ゆく浪の數見えて殘ともなき薄氷かな

harukaze ni
shita yuku nami no
kazu miete
nokoru tomonaki
usukōri kana		 With the breath of spring,
Flowing beneath, waves
In numbers can be seen;
Hardly any remains – just
A coating of ice.

Ietaka

34

Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 14

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Left (Tie).

氷ゐし水の白浪立かへり春風しるき池の面かな

kōri i
shimizu no shiranami
tachikaeri
harukaze shiruki
ike no omo kana		 To the iced
Clear waters waves of white
Return again;
Spring’s breezes well know
This mere’s face.

Lord Sada’ie

27

Right (Tie).

諏方の海の氷のうへの通ひ路はけさ吹く風に跡絶えにけり

suwa no umi no
kōri no ue no
kayoiji wa
kesa fuku kaze ni
ato taenikeri		 At the Sea of Suwa
Upon the ice
The trackways,
With the breath of wind this morning
Have left no trace at all…

The Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

28

The Right team state that the concluding line of the Left’s poem, ‘this mere’s face’ (ike no omo kana) is ‘weak’. The Left team reply that the first three lines of the Right’s poem are identical to those of a poem by Minamoto no Akinaka (1064-1138), in the Hundred Poem Sequence from the Reign of Former Emperor Horikawa (a sequence composed by a number of poets between 1104-07 and presented to Horikawa):

諏方の海の氷のうへの通ひ路は神の渡りて解くるなりけり

suFa no umi no
koFori no uFe no
kayoFidi Fa
kami no watarite
tokuru narikeri		 At the Sea of Suwa
Upon the ice
The trackways,
With the passage of the God
Have melted.

and that this gave the poem its idea.

Shunzei comments that ‘waters waves of white/Return again’ is a ‘well-worn’ image with nothing special about it, and the Right team have already identified the weakness of the final line, and, of course, it ‘could not be as strong as a Deva King!’ As for the Right’s poem, he accepts the point made by the Left, but as it is not well-known that even in Hundred Poem sequences there are examples which are not ‘excellent work’, it is difficult to completely avoid composing poems with conceptions that resemble them. Thus, the round has to be a tie.