On thinking deep thoughts.
梓弓末はし知らずしかれどもまさかは君に寄りにしものを
adusayumi suwe pasi sirazu sikaredomo masaka pa kimi ni yorinisi mono wo | A catalpa bow: The end, indeed, I know not, And yet, and yet, ‘Tis you that My thoughts have ever dwelt upon… |
Anonymous
Left (Win).
末の松待つ夜幾度過ぬらん山超す浪を袖にまかせて
sue no matsu matsu yo ikutabi suginuran yama kosu nami o sode ni makasete |
At the pines of Sué How many nights have I spent Pining for him? As the waves break over the mountain So let them on my sleeves… |
A Servant Girl.
969
Right.
人知れず君に心を筑波山ひまなきものはなげき也けり
hito shirezu kimi ni kokoro o tsukubayama himanaki mono wa nageki narikeri |
Secretly For you has my heart Yearned to exhaustion; as Tsukuba Mountain’s Close packed trees, endless Is my grief. |
Lord Tsune’ie.
970
The Gentlemen of the Right state: in what way are the the waves ‘allowed’ in ‘let them on my sleeves’ (sode ni makasuru)? The Left state: the Right uses Tsukuba, followed by ‘close packed trees, endless’ (himanaki), and although this does have the same meaning, it would be more customary to use ‘verdant’ (shigeki).
In judgement: although the Left’s ‘so let them on my sleeves’ (sode ni makasete) sounds somewhat unclear, the Right’s ‘Tsukuba Mountain’s close packed trees, endless’ suggests many layers of reed-thatch, I think. ‘As the waves break over the mountain’ (yama kosu nami) seems to reach greater heights.
The wind across the fields (野風)
Round One
Left
けさみればはぎをみなへしなびかしてやさしの野辺の風のけしきや
kesa mireba hagi ominaeshi nabikashite yasashi no nobe no kaze no keshiki ya | This morn when I look out Are the bush clovers and maidenflowers Waving Gently in the fields A vision of wind? |
Lord Toshiyori
15
Right (Win)
高円の野路の篠原末騒ぎそそや秋風今日吹きぬなり
takamado no noji no shinohara sue sawagi sosoya akikaze kyō fukinu nari | In Takamado, At Shinohara in Noji, Noisy in the treetops Rustles the autumn wind As it blows today. |
Lord Mototoshi
16
In the Left’s poem, from the phrase ‘bush clovers and maidenflowers’ (hagi ominaeshi) and to the following ‘gently in the fields’ (yashi no nobe) seem singularly unremarkable. In fact, the diction seems so out of place as to be comic. The Right’s poem has an elevated style and charming diction, so one would think it should win, should it not?
The Gentlemen of the Left: the Right’s poem does use the comically forceful diction ‘rustles’ (sosoya).
In judgement: the Left’s ‘waving’ (nabikashite) is an expression giving the poem an extremely idiosyncratic style. The initial section also appears to be lacking in force. As for the Right’s poem, ‘rustles’ (sosoya) is used by Sone no Yoshitada in his poem ‘rustling, the autumn wind has blown’ (sosoya akikaze fukinu nari),[1] so it is not as if there is not a prior example of usage. Thus, it seems to me that the Right’s poem is superior.
[1]The judge, Fujiwara no Mototoshi, is mistaken here, as the poem he is remembering is by Ōe no Yoshitoki 大江嘉言 and can be found in Shikashū (III: 108). Yoshitada is the author of SKS III: 110, however, so it seems he has simply made a mistaken identification of authorship over two poems which are more or less adjacent to each other in that anthology.
Left.
霞かは花鶯にとぢられて春にこもれる宿の明ぼの
kasumi ka wa hana uguisu ni tojirarete haru ni komoreru yado no akebono |
Is this haze? No, in blossom and warbler song Am I sealed; Shut in by springtime Is my home this dawn. |
115
Right (Win).
霞立つ末の松山ほのぼのと浪にはなるゝ橫雲の空
kasumi tatsu sue no matsuyama honobono to nami ni hanaruru yokogumo no sora |
The hazes rise Around the pine-clad peak of Sué; Dimly Departing from the waves, Narrow clouds trail across the sky. |
116
The Right team have no particular remarks to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left state that the Right’s poem is ‘most satisfying.’
Shunzei’s judgement is: ‘The Left’s “Is this haze?” (kasumi ka wa) seems like it wants to be “Is this just haze?” (kasumi nomi ka wa). “In blossom and warbler song am I sealed” (hana uguisu ni tojirarete) and “my home this dawn” (yado no akebono) remind one of “the lofty palace of Shinsei stands behind warblers and blossom” and this is excellent. As for the Right’s poem, this is particularly moving, with its depiction of the scene “departing from the waves, narrow clouds trail across the sky” (nami ni hanaruru yokogumo no sora), recalling “the pine-clad peak of Sué” (sue no matsuyama). The poem does start with “hazes rise” (kasumi tatsu) and having “haze” (kasumi), “wave” (nami) and “cloud” (kumo) means the poem is somewhat overburdened with similar imagery. “Narrow clouds trail across the sky”, though, does make a particularly strong impression, and the Left’s poem is merely satisfying, as has been said. Thus, “my home this dawn” must lose, I think.’
Lord Minamoto no Yorikiyo, having completed his tour of duty in Michinoku province, was made Governor of Higo and left [the capital] again; when he was due to depart, she sent this to him secretly.
たびたびの千代をはるかに君や見ん末の松より生の松原
tabitabi no tiyo wo Faruka ni kimi ya min suwe no matu yori iki no matubara |
Journey piled on journey At a distance of a thousand years Will you see? From the pines of Sue, To the living pine groves. |
Lady Sagami