Tag Archives: Suetsune

Love VII: 10

Left (Tie).
雲井まで續きて見ゆわたつ海の行衛知られぬ物思かな

kumoi made
tsuzukite miyu
wata tsu umi no
yukue shirarenu
mono’omoi kana
Beyond the clouds
My gaze goes on and on;
The endless sea:
What lies beyond is unknown
As my gloomy thoughts…

Lord Suetsune.
979

Right.
伊勢の海の潮瀬にさはぐさざれ石の砕けて物を思ふ比かな

ise no umi no
shiose ni sawagu
sazare’ishi no
kudakete mono o
omou koro kana
The sea at Ise:
Raging rapids with the tides,
Where pebbles
Shatter, gloom
Filling my thoughts these days…

Ietaka.
980

The Right state: the Left’s poem is clichéd. The Left state: the Right’s poem is that of Shigeyuki.

In judgement: the Left’s poem is clichéd, but in addition to this uses ‘goes on and on’ (tsuzukite), which is not something one should say. The Right’s poem is, indeed, overly close to Shigeyuki’s, so both Left and Right poem are deficient and lacking in any element allowing a win.

Love VII: 4

Left.
年月ぞ思かひなく過にける君をきませの山のふもとに

toshitsuki zo
omou kainaku
suginikeru
kimi o kimase no
yama no fumoto ni
For many years and months
I yearned to no end,
Passing time
Calling you on Kimase
Mountain’s foot.

Lord Suetsune.
967

Right (Win).
吉野山戀のあまりに思入ぬなかなかさらば人や訪ふとて

yoshinoyama
koi no amari ni
omoi’irinu
nakanaka saraba
hito ya tou tote
As Mount Yoshino
Is my love’s extent,
So deeply do I feel it;
But were I to do so,
Perhaps he would visit me there?

Nobusada.
968

Both Right and Left together state the opposing poem has no faults to indicate.

In judgement: in the Left’s poem, would it really be to no end to pass the time calling on Mount Kimase? The Right’s poem, on Mount Yoshino, has ‘but were I to do so’ (naka saraba), which sounds charming. Thus, the Right wins.

Love VI: 25

Left (Tie).
妹が住むとをちの里の煙だになど我方へなびかざるらん

imo ga sumu
tōchi no sato no
kemuri dani
nado wa ga kata e
nabikazaruran
My darling lives
In far distant Tōchi;
Even the smoke,
Somehow, will not
Stream my way…

Lord Suetsune.
949

Right.
つれなさに絶ずなりなん煙をも我ゆへとやはながめゝしもせん

tsurenasa ni
taezu narinan
kemuri o mo
ware yue to ya wa
nagamemeshi mo sen
Her cruelty
I can endure no more!
That the smoke
Is for her sake – will she
Find that consolation? No, surely not!

Lord Takanobu.
950

Both Left and Right together state that their opponent’s poem lacks anything unusual.

In judgement: that ‘far distant Tōchi’s smoke’ (tōchi no sato no kemuri) will not stream my way really has no significance. ‘Her cruelty I can endure no more! That the smoke’ (tsurenasa ni taezu narinan kemuri) must be being used to avoid mentioning dying of love as unpropitious, and certainly lacks clarity of expression. This is clearly insufficient. The round ties.

Love VI: 20

Left.
雨そそき人待つ宵は憂かりけりこやことづけにならんと思へば

ame sosoki
hito matsu yoi wa
ukarikeri
koya kotozuke ni
naran to omoeba
Rain dripping,
The nights awaiting him are
Cruel, indeed;
That is his excuse,
Or so I feel!

Lord Suetsune.
939

Right (Win).
頼めねど絶えず音する時雨かな戀しき人のかゝらましかば

tanomenedo
taezu otosuru
shigure kana
koishiki hito no
kakaramashikaba
I put no trust in you, yet
Ceaselessly, you come to call
O, showers!
I would that the man I love
Would do the same…

Lord Tsune’ie.
940

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian.

In judgement: in the Left’s poem, while ‘rain dripping’ (ame sosoki) sounds like it should recall Eastern House, there is no clear reason for this, and ‘that is his excuse’ (koya kotozuke) would also seem to refer to ‘“In the land of Tsu / Come on”’ (tsu no kuni no / koya). ‘Rain dripping’, though, does not link to this, I think. While the Right’s poem may be pedestrian, it certainly should win.

Love VI: 13

Left.
ひとり寢の憂き身になるゝ秋風をつれなき人の心ともがな

hitorine no
ukimi ni naruru
akikaze o
tsurenaki hito no
kokoro tomo gana
To sleeping alone
In desolation am I accustomed;
O, that the autumn wind were
My cruel love’s
Heart…

Lord Suetsune.
925

Right (Win).
夕まぐれ吹くる秋の初風は戀せぬ人も身にやしむらん

yūmagure
fukikuru aki no
hatsukaze wa
koisenu hito mo
mi ni ya shimuran
In the evening’s dusk
Comes blowing autumn’s
First breeze;
Will one who loves not
Be pierced as am I?

Lord Tsune’ie.
926

Both Left and Right together state: we have nothing we feel we should say.

In judgement: the final section of the Left’s poem is clichéd. I also wonder about the sound of ‘in desolation am I’ (ukimi). The Right’s poem has nothing particularly remarkable about it, but it should win

Love VI: 8

Left.
戀すれば心も空に浮雲の思ひしづむる方なかりけり

koisureba
kokoro mo sora ni
ukigumo no
omoishizumuru
kata nakarikeri
When one is in love
The heart, with the skies
Drifting clouds
Does find some calm
In no way at all.

Lord Suetsune.
915

Right (Win).
人しれぬ恨みは空の雲なれやつもれば袖の雨と降るらん

hito shirenu
urami wa sora no
kumo nare ya
tsumoreba sode no
ame to fururan
Unknown to her
My despite: within the sky
A cloud has it become?
Mounting up, then from my sleeves
As rain will fall, indeed!

Jakuren.
916

Left and Right together state: these are fine.

In judgement: both poems’ initial sections have nothing between them in terms of strengths or faults. Of the latter sections, ‘mounting up, then from my sleeves’ (tsumoreba sode no) is pleasant. Again, the Right should win.

Love VI: 3

Left (Tie).
つれもなき人をもさそへ夜はの月影ばかりだによそに見るやと

tsure mo naki
hito o mo sasoe
yowa no tsuki
kage bakari dani
yoso ni miru ya to
That heartless
Man, will you invite
O midnight Moon!
Even just an image
In the distance would I wish to see…

Lord Suetsune.
905

Right.
秋の月妹が面影さそひきて我心にも宿すなりけり

aki no tsuki
imo ga omokage
sasoikite
wa ga kokoro ni mo
yadosu narikeri
The autumn moon
My darling’s face
Does bring to me, and
Within my heart
Has it found a place to stay.

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
906

The Right state: if one is inviting someone to come and visit, then there is no reason to mention ‘just an image’ (kage bakari). We wonder whether the invitation is addressed to the sky? The Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian.

In judgement: both Left and Right have the same conception of an invitation addressed to the moon. The Round can only be a tie.

Love V: 26

Left (Win).
都にて馴れにし物をひとり寢の片敷く袖は何かさびしき

miyako nite
narenishi mono o
hitori ne no
katashiku sode wa
nani ka sabishiki
In the capital
I grew accustomed to it, but
Sleeping alone
With only a single sleeve spread out
Is somehow sad…

Lord Suetsune
891

Right.
妹だにも待つとし聞かば小余綾のいそぐ舟路も嬉しからまし

imo dani mo
matsu to shi kikaba
koyurugi no
isogu funaji mo
ureshikaramashi
That girl of yours
Awaits you – were I to hear that,
From Koyurugi’s
Rocky shore in haste I’d go, even
The sea-lanes filled with joy!

The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.
892

The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks the essence of love on a journey, and even the sense of sorrow seems insufficient. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults.

In judgement: what do the Right mean by saying the Left ‘lack the essence of love on a journey’? And is it really right that ‘is somehow sad’ (nani ka sabishiki) is insufficient? The poem is composed to give an impression of someone fooling themselves. The Right’s ‘Koyurugi’ is certainly not an expression which I have not come across. However, the Left should win.

Love V: 21

Left (Win).
重ねずと思ふばかりぞ小夜衣匂ひは袖に移りぬるかな

kasanezu to
omou bakari zo
sayogoromo
nioi wa sode ni
utsurinuru kana
No piled robes, but
All I do is long for her:
Her night-robe’s
Scent upon my sleeves
Does dwell….

Lord Suetsune
881

Right.
匂ひ來る梢ばかりを情にて主は遠き宿の梅が枝

nioikuru
kozue bakari o
nasake nite
aruji wa tōki
yado no mume ga e
The scent drifting
From the treetops is my only
Consolation, for
Their master is as far away
As his dwelling’s plum blossom branches…

Nobusada
882

The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks any faults to indicate. The Left state: is the Right’s poem not composed upon the plum blossom of the house next door?

In judgement: for the topic of ‘Nearby Love’, poems composed where the lovers are in the same room are most likely winners. Even so, how close do their dwellings need to be? The Left’s latter section, ‘Her night-robe’s scent upon my sleeves’ (sayogoromo nioi wa sode ni) is certainly elegant. The Right’s poem has ‘Their master is as far away’ (aruji wa tōki). Simply because of this, it is certainly not composed on plum blossom. Still, the Left’s ‘night-robe’ (sayogoromo) seems a little superior to ‘The scent drifting from the treetops is my only consolation’ (nioikuru kozue bakari o nasake nite).

 

Love V: 15

Left.
行かへる心は程も無かりけり幾雲井とも知らぬ中にも

yukikaeru
kokoro wa hodo mo
nakarikeri
iku kumoi tomo
shiranu naka ni mo
To go to her
My heart feels the distance
Is nothing;
How far beyond the clouds it is
I care not at all…

Lord Suetsune.
869

Right (Win).
思遣るほどは苦しき戀路にも心は安く通ふなりけり

omoiyaru
hodo wa kurushiki
koiji ni mo
kokoro wa yasuku
kayou narikeri
My thoughts fly
So far to you; painful
Are the paths of love, that
The heart, so simply,
Travels over!

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
870

Both Left and Right state together: we find no faults.

In judgement: both poems have the conception of the heart travelling and, in addition, do not appear to have any particular features which suggest a win or a loss, but the Left’s ‘I care not at all’ (shiranu naka ni mo) sounds weaker. Thus, the Right wins.