Left
ひくるればひとめのもりにぬるとりのあかつきがたになきつつぞたつ
| hi kurureba hitome no mori ni nuru tori no akatsukigata ni nakitsutsu zo tatsu | Since the setting of the sun Avoiding others’ eyes within the forest Slept a bird that At the edge of dawn Sobbing, does depart! |
22
Right
ねをあさみそこをはなるるうきくさのけさのおきにぞながれわびぬる
| ne o asami soko o hanaruru ukikusa no kesa no oki ni zo nagare wabinuru | Shallow the roots Separating from the river’s bed, Of the drifting waterweed, This morning rising, Swept away in desolation! |
23
Round Three
Left[i]
君が代は神にぞいのる住之江の松の千年をゆづれとおもへば
| kimi ga yo wa kami ni zo inoru suminoe no matsu no chitose o yuzure to omoeba | My Lord’s reign: To the gods I pray, that Suminoe’s Pines their thousand years Pass on—that is my hope… |
Retired from the World
61a
きみがへむやちよのかずはあめにますとよをかひめの神やしるらん
| kimi ga hemu yachiyo no kazu wa ame ni masu toyo’okahime no kami ya shiruran | That my Lord will endure The number of eight thousand ages— Residing in the heavens, The Goddess of the Eternal Hills, The deity, knows well, no doubt! |
Retired from the World
61b
Right (Win)
君がよはつきじとぞおもふ春の日の御笠の山にささむかぎりは
| kimi ga yo wa tsukiji to zo omou haru no hi no mikasa no yama ni sasamu kagiri wa | My Lord’s reign Will never fade, I feel! While in spring the sun Upon Mikasa Mountain Shines down… |
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
62
Both Left and Right have neither strengths nor weakness in their diction and sense, but I feel that ‘While in spring the sun / Upon Mikasa Mountain / Shines down’ is a bit more dependable at present than ‘Suminoe’s / Pines their thousand years’.
It is certainly not the case that there are no dubious elements about the Left’s poem. As ‘eight thousand ages’ is a definite number, what is it that the Goddess of the Eternal Hills is expected to know? If this is something in the deity’s hands, then it should be, ‘does not even know the number’. I’m sure the Goddess herself would ask what she’s expected to know. The Right seems stronger.
[i] There are different poems by Eien this round in different versions of the text of the contest. As can be inferred from the judgements, Mototoshi saw the first poem and Toshiyori the second. This strongly suggests that Mototoshi’s judgements were circulated before the text of the contest was submitted to Toshiyori, and Eien revised his poem this round as a result (Kubota et al. 2018, 308).
Round Two
Left (Win)
君がよはあまのいはとをいづるひのいくめぐりてふかずもしられず
| kimi ga yo wa ama no iwato o izuru hi no iku meguri chō kazu mo shirarezu | My Lord’s reign: Since from the stone door in the heavens Emerged the sun, ‘How many circuits has she made?’, they ask— A number quite unknown. |
Lord Saburō
59
Right
みかさやまふもとのさとはあめのしたふるにおもひもあらじとぞ思ふ
| mikasayama fumoto no sato wa ame no shita furu ni omoi mo araji to zo omou | At Mikasa Moutain’s Foot, in a hamlet ‘neath the heavens Passing time—painful thoughts There I’d have not a one, I feel! |
Ushigimi
60
The Left’s poem goes beyond the general flow of diction, containing mystery and depth. I have to say it is truly superior. While the Right’s poem has no faults to mention, it has yet to emerge from prosaic expression. Thus, the Left wins.
The ‘stone door in the heavens’ is that which the supreme sun-deity Amaterasu stood before and then entered. But when we’re talking about dawn breaking at the end of night, we say ‘gates of heaven’. Which of these two was did the poet have in mind, I wonder? If he was thinking of dawn breaking, then the usage is erroneous, but even if he did mean ‘stone door of the heavens’, then do we use this about the circuits of the sun? This is vague. In addition, the final ‘they ask’ is difficult to pronounce. As for the Right’s poem, ‘‘neath the heavens’ lacks emotion. The dual use of ‘thoughts’ and ‘feels’, as I have already remarked, is not an error, but does grate on the ears a bit.
Round Four
Left
まくずはふ山ぢもはれてあきのよはこゆるたびびとやすき月かな
| makuzu hau yamaji mo harete aki no yo wa koyuru tabibito yasuki tsuki kana | Kudzu vines crawl Along the mountain paths, so clear On an autumn night for A traveller a’crossing Lit by a clement moon! |
Cell of the Fragrant Elephant
35
Right
くまもなきつきのひかりをながめてはひたけてぞしるよはあけにけり
| kuma mo naki tsuki no hikari o nagamete wa hi takete zo shiru yo wa akenikeri | No cloud mars The moon’s light, Filling my gaze, as A sun up high, telling me, Night leads to bright dawn. |
Cell of the Everlasting Truth
36
The poem of the Left has nothing to present in all of its syllables. The poem of the Right resembles a composition by someone drunk out of his mind. As a result, it’s impossible to decide between them.
In the poem of the Left, does ‘clement moonlight’ mean that the moon’s light enables one to traverse a mountain path, which normally one would be unable to make one’s way along because one would expect it to be dark? The diction here is insufficient. As it says in the preface to the Ancient and Modern Collection of Narihira’s poems, ‘excessive conception but lacking in diction, like withered flowers lacking colours, but with a lingering fragrance’. This is a poem in that style, isn’t it. As for the poem of the Right, this, too, has ‘night leads to bright dawn’—the diction here is stilted and the conception lacks elegance. I have to say these poems are of about the same standard.
Sent to someone who had served the empress of former Emperor Ichijō, who gone to Hyūga province.
あかねさす日にむかひても思ひいでよみやこはしのぶながめすらんと
| akane sasu Fi ni mukaFitemo omoFi’ideyo miyako Fa sinobu nagame suran to | Shining madder red Toward the sun have you made your way, but O, remember, To recall the capital, and Turn your gaze that way… |
Her Majesty, the Empress
Composed on the conception of celebration.
君が代はあまのかご山いづる日のてらむかぎりはつきじとぞ思ふ
| kimi ga yo wa ama no kagoyama izuru hi no teramu kagiri wa tsukiji to zo omou | My Lord’s reign: until Above heavenly Mount Kago The rising sun’s Shining is bound Shall never end, I feel! |
The Former Ōmiya Chancellor
The Day of the Rat (ne no hi 子日)
Left
ほのぼのとみねのひのまづさしつればむすばぬはるのゆきぞとけける
| honobono to mine no hi no mazu sashitsureba musubanu haru no yuki zo tokekeru | Faintly, Upon the peaks the sun first Shines, then Not fully frozen, the spring Snow melts. |
Tsurayuki
1
Right (Win)
かたこひをするがのふじのやまよりもむねのひのまづもえまさるかな
| katakoi o suruga no fuji no yama yori mo mune no hi no mazu moemasaru kana | In love and unrequited, More than Suruga’s Fuji Mountain does The fire in my breast, first Burn all the greater! |
Tomonori
2
The following poems were not matched. They are poems composed with the syllables of the word ominaeshi (‘maidenflower’) at the beginning and end of each line.
をるはなをむなしくなさむなををしなでふにもなしてしひやとめまし
| oru hana o munashiku nasamu na o oshi na jō ni mo nashite shii ya tomemashi | A flower picked, Will be pointless— Not to be left with that vain regret Should I press it in paper And force it to linger here? |
23
をるひとをみなうらめしみなげくかなてるひにあててしもにおかせじ
| oru hito o mina urameshimi nageku kana teru hi ni atete shimo ni okaseji | Those who plucked you, I hate them so, and Grieve, for I would you stand in the shining sun, and Be untouched by frost. |
24