hototogisu hitokoe nakite suginuredo shitau kokoro zo chiji ni arikeru
The cuckoo A single call cried out, and Passed me by, yet Missing him, my heart He left in a thousand, thousand pieces.
Lady Kazusa 27
Right (Win)
ほととぎすくものたえまにもる月のかげほのかにもなきわたるかな
hototogisu kumo no taema ni moru tsuki no kage honoka ni mo nakiwataru kana
The cuckoo, as From a gap between the clouds Drips the moon’s Light, faintly Calls on!
Lady Shikibu 28
Both poems are of the same quality.
The Left’s poem really makes me wonder why that should be the case, with the final ‘he left’ putting me in mind of someone in court dress who has forgotten to put on his shoes! The Right’s poem appears rather more bright than it needs to be. Furthermore, if one says that the ‘light is faint’ then shouldn’t the moon be hidden by the clouds? It’s vague over that, but if there were a prior poem as precedent, then it would be a good composition. For the present, I will make it the winner.
akigiri no taema ni miyuru momijiba ya tachinokoshitaru nishiki naruran
The autumn mists have Gaps revealing Scarlet leaves— Remaining offcuts of Brocade, perhaps?
Lord Tsunemori 75
Right
もみぢちる立田の山はえぞこえぬ錦をふまむ道をしらねば
momiji chiru tatsuta no yama wa e zo koenu nishiki o fumamu michi o shiraneba
Scattered with scarlet leaves Tatsuta Mountain I cannot cross, for To tread upon a brocade Path I know not how…
Lord Yorimasa 76
The Right is a poem on fallen leaves and blossom—something about which many people have composed in the recent past and modern times, too. The Left sounds as if it truly depicts things as they are. Its overall construction is lovely, too, so it should win.
