kumo kakaru takashi no yama no akegure ni tsuma madowaseru oshika naku nari
All hung about with cloud On Takashi Mountain In the gloaming Having lost his mate A stag bells out.
Nakamasa 11
Right
山がつの先あかつきをしりがほに裾野に出でて鹿ぞ鳴くなる
yamagatsu no mazu akatsuki o shirigao ni susono ni idete shika zo naku naru
A mountain man First of all, that ‘tis dawn Knows plain upon his face, As he sets out upon the slopes As a stag bells out!
Head 12
The Left poem’s conclusion, ‘Having lost his mate / A stag bells out’ seems no different from that of a poem by Gō no Jijū in poetry match held by the First Princess.[1] As for the poem of the Right’s ‘A mountain man / Awaits the dawn / Knowing plain upon his face’—what on earth might a mountain man look like while waiting for dawn? There is the tale of Hangu Pass in Cathay, where the barrier guard was waiting for dawn and opened the gate after hearing a cock’s crow, but the expression ‘a mountain man awaits the dawn’ has never appeared before in a poem—either one of Cathay or in the words of Yamato, so I feel that both Left and Right lack any superlative qualities.
[1] Stags. をぐら山たちどもみえぬゆふぎりにつままどはせるしかぞなくなる ogurayama / tachidomo mienu / yūgiri ni / tsuma madowaseru / shika zo nakunaru ‘On gloomy Ogura Mountain / Stands unseen / Among the evening mists / Having lost his mate / A belling stag.’ (Yūshi naishinnō-ke uta’awase eishō go-nen 27). This event was held at the residence of Imperial Princess Sukeko (Yūshi) on the 5th day of the Sixth Month, Eishō 5 [26.10.1050]. The poem won its round, and was later included in Goshūishū (IV: 292).
wa ga koi wa takashi no hama ni iru tazu no tazuneteyukan kata mo oboezu
My love is Upon Takashi Beach A resting crane— He will go a’visting, but Where? No one knows…
Lord Tamezane 71
Right (M – Win)
あふことのたのむる人のなきときはよをうき物と思ひぬるかな
au koto no tanomuru hito no naki toki wa yo o uki mono to omoinuru kana
To meet with me Is there no one I can trust— At such times The world is such a cruel place I feel!
Lord Tokimasa 72
Toshiyori states: the poems of both Left and Right seem to be of about the same standard. The first poem displays slightly better technique, but there’s nothing to point out about it. The later poem doesn’t do anything. I would say ‘A resting crane— / He will go a’visiting’ wins.
Mototoshi states: as for the poem about ‘My love is / Upon Takashi Beach’: it really seems to me that if you mention Takashi – heights – then you need to mention waves. After all, in reply to Tadafusa Tsurayuki composed, ‘The waves offshore / Rise high; on the beach at Takashi’, and while there are many beaches, I recklessly feel its mistaken not to have waves linked with Takashi Beach—although, of course, this may be a failing of my elderly mind. The poem of the Right’s ‘feeling in a cruel place’ seems a bit smoother in the current context.
